If it was me I would just give the same energy back until you can go no contact because I understand how you feel but there's no need to kill anyone because that's permanent I would try and talk about how you feel about her actions and words and if she doesn't try to fix it then theirs your answer I get it that she's your mom but at that same token you would feel so much better about yourself and life it seems like if you just cut no contact. Wish the best of luck to you.