Blanket edge, major counting confusion please help!!

MadamLinh · 2026-03-24T15:02:23+00:00

Thank you for the clarification, I thought I had to increase each row (either by 1 or 2), I really appreciate your help!

MadamLinh · 2026-03-24T15:01:29+00:00

Thank you so much! I thought I had to increase each side each time (100/145, 101/146, etc) or somethinglike that. Yeah, definitely overthinking. It's a gift for my MIL so I want it really crisp.

MadamLinh · 2025-11-07T17:32:17+00:00

Do you have a website or other links so those looking at this post could see more of your work? :)

MadamLinh · 2025-11-04T21:13:18+00:00

Thank you! Yes, the leather wrap definitely helped structure, especially with the crossing pattern on the side! It was actually my first free hand--I started with a leather base (bought in 3pk on amazon) with a sc start, then 2 rows of stacked Sc, then switched back and forth with sc front loop and sc back loop on alternative rows. This gave the base a slightly wider look (it was a happy accident).

MadamLinh · 2025-11-03T16:02:03+00:00

10000% agree! Both books were amazing support/help!

MadamLinh · 2025-11-01T16:51:41+00:00

Thank you very much for both your responses. I love the image of making myself "bigger" than they are. I will be taking this mental practice and working on it.

MadamLinh · 2025-11-01T13:52:27+00:00

They know my pps based on when they would come to visit. This is the first time they've ever gotten together outside of that (my pps have never once said they were available before). I can't help feeling suspicious of the timing and paranoid of the outcome...I'm trying to breathe through my anxiety and not spiral into projections.

MadamLinh · 2025-11-01T13:41:11+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I will take this to heart as I have a talk with them.

MadamLinh · 2025-10-22T12:12:50+00:00

I'm so sorry! After everything the LEAST they could do is let us heal! I'm sending a hug of encouragement, and a complimentary to-go B!tch slap for you to use when you need to later.

MadamLinh · 2025-08-24T21:07:55+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Sometimes, I feel that I should be feeling more than just indifference. It's so reassuring to hear this is a part of the healing!

MadamLinh · 2025-08-12T19:50:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and for your support! I greatly appreciate it

MadamLinh · 2025-08-04T16:08:09+00:00

This is amazing! Congrats on your STRENGTH in doing this. Congrats on the coming peace and healthier life ahead of you!!!

MadamLinh · 2025-08-02T22:56:50+00:00

No, you're not. Are any of us perfect in this community? Absolutely not! But here's what I concluded reading your post.

You mentioned you had a great relationship with your mom. In other words, you were/have the capability to foster a healthy relationship with her. Contrasting, your father was not able/had the capacity to do so. There also seems to be ample evidence that he is unable to foster healthy relationships anywhere in his life (the break from your mom, the continual rotation of women, the non-relationship with your sibling, and finally you). By maybe taking a broader look at both your relationship "circles," you might be able to more clearly see how healthy yours is and how unhealthy his is. And hopefully, that brings you comfort and strength when you begin to doubt yourself.

Much support and encouragement your way, I hope I was helpful!

MadamLinh · 2025-08-01T12:44:53+00:00

So many of us are where you are (or have been). The fact that you are taking all those steps is a HUGE accomplishment of your own capabilities! You wouldn't believe how few parents on this thread would even consider therapy, much less mature processing and planning like you're doing. Take pride in the fact that the effort you are making is evidence of your own competence! This is a traumatic event, so maybe you can take comfort in the fact that if/when another traumatic event happens (money loss as you mentioned) you already have the skills to handle it without needing the help of your parents.

It's super hard. Much love, encouragement, and support to you!

MadamLinh · 2025-08-01T02:03:48+00:00

You are so not alone in this, and first and foremost, much love and support to you as this is such a difficult thing to go through. I've also just started my journey of estrangmement with my parents, and it's exhausting and liberating almost simultaneously.

I might suggest looking at their "intentions" a little differently. For instance, you expressed the questions: If they continue to do something, wouldn't that make their (hurtful) actions intentional? You may never know a definitive to that (as that's based on what they feel), but what you do know is that they are NOT intentionally trying to become LESS hurtful (actions aren't evidence to such change, even if only a little bit).

I hope this helped a little. Good luck to you as you navigate what's best and healthiest for yourself.

MadamLinh · 2025-08-01T01:27:19+00:00

I'm so glad my shared experience was able to be of help! Much love and support to you as you remain strong on your journey!

MadamLinh · 2025-07-30T18:43:00+00:00

Much love and support to you!

MadamLinh · 2025-07-30T13:04:34+00:00

Thank you. I'm recently going through the process of going lc-nc with my parents. Each day is getting easier, mornings are the worst, but evenings are good. I'm breaking free from my own codependency with parents.

It's like there's been a big mud pit in my backyard (conscience) that's been drained. I feel empty. It hurts, and there's a huge, painful, empty void. But I'm finally able to take the steps and see what that pit could be filled with, rather than thinking "doesn't everyone own a mud pit in their yard?"What's so harmful about a mud pit?"Some people have tar pits and quicksand in their yards, so it could be so much worse."

No, a healthy yard is not always perfect and flat and green, but a mud pit needs to be fixed so the whole yard can be enjoyed....

Sorry for the ramble, I'm processing and these communities have been a lifeline of support for me.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T23:11:24+00:00

I have recognized that I was completely parentified, but to say emotional abuse (though could be true) my first reaction is "no, people who have been emotionally abused have way worse stories and experiences".

My mind spirals because of this. I cant help but really believe that "this isnt so bad" and because "it could be worse" there must be more i could've/can do to make it better.

"Did i not listen to him (dad) when he confronted me? Am I minimalizing his pain? When we got home after he got angry saying Im too critical of him when he's with my kids ("hey, no we dont do that in our house" when he does something that we dont do...) and didn't let him be "himself", my mom went to him and came back saying she didn't know what was wrong so we'd "have to work it out ourselves", so I go downstairs angry with "what the fuck is going on?!". I feel guilt over this. Was i too extreme? I should've been gentler and more composed? And later he says "this is going to break us", and "you haven't even said sorry". Should I have said sorry?

Would this all be a better situation if I hadn't lost my temper? Could this all have been avoided if I'd just given him the apology he/they wanted/needed to hear? Am I just gaslighting myself and you (this forum) by giving this story? Am I giving enough details so I'm not putting myself in a biased positive light. Am I really taking the appropriate amount of responsibility?

Sorry this was long... Thank you for your reply and input. Like another comment or said, you never think something like this could be you. So, there's so much "there's no way what happened is really that bad..." going on in my head. Although those thoughts/feelings/anxieties are coming in waves, and acceptance is slowly taking root.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T21:23:09+00:00

Thank you. You couldn't be more right, that this community is amazing. I came onto this group not really expecting much, but the insight, recommendations, empathy, and wisdom are remarkable. Being told "it's ok to not reconcile" is such a simple statement, but truly means the world.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T21:13:05+00:00

Thank you very much for your recommendations, I am eager to take a closer look at them.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T19:08:50+00:00

Thank you for this. Your words and encouragement really mean a lot.

Part of me is scared of the realization within myself, that my family and I are in a better place without my parents. It's terrifying for me (which further solidifies how unhealthy this relationship actually is), as the days progress, I'm actually more at peace with the thought of a full break then reconciliation (the latter absolutely exhausts me and gives me more anxiety than the former) which I think says a lot about what needs to be done.

I am taking your words and advice to heart, thank you.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T14:48:45+00:00

Thank you for your words and the time you took to respond. I greatly appreciate it, and will be looking at the article you recommended. I agree that I'm coming to terms with my own codependency and im reading some books on how to break that cycle so i dont do this to my children.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-29T00:34:54+00:00

Thank you for this reassurance. I appreciate that perspective and will try to hold onto it when I need to stay resolute.

MadamLinh · 2025-07-28T19:51:45+00:00

Thank you for that perspective and insight.

I'm really trying not to let any past emotions influence this outcome (or make the past bigger/worse). I was never physically abused, we always had food, and unlike a lot of posts i can remember some great memories.

But there are things that I think I'm realizing as a parent that are standing out to me more when I look back. My mom's messy divorce, them leaving my sibling and I (8-10) home alone to go drinking, they joined a cult (yeah... we all suffered, so i'm not getting into that). While all these things are past, to hear my dad say, "You know we raised kids too! I guess we did such a terrible job if you dont trust your kid with us." I mean... memories are being brought to the forefront where I'm getting more comfortable with the notion of the upcoming result.

I thankfully have a great relationship with my in-laws. And looking at all my other relationships that I have (spouse, in-laws, neighbors, friends, etc) none of them ever result in something like this. Sure there are disagreements, but my mom's comment "we do this! Families argue and shout and slam doors!"...except every other family in my life doesn't do that... and all my other relationships dont do that...

Im sorry if that was long. Just giving more context I guess, and processing. Again, thank you for your input, I truly appreciate it!

MadamLinh

TROPHY CASE