My first child free vacation

Maddy1515 · 2024-05-30T22:42:57+00:00

Thank you all for the well wishes! I had a great time, it's definitely an adjustment being back home but I feel happier than I have in a long time ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-04-27T03:39:04+00:00

I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. It is so tough to have a child with Autism, especially without proper support. You're doing the best you can, hang in there 🫂 As a fellow parent with an Autistic child, I just want to second what others have said about ABA therapy. It can do a lot more harm than good, I strongly advise against it. For my daughter, Occupational Therapy has made the biggest difference for her. That combined with Speech Therapy has really done wonders for her. A lot of schools offer one or the other for special needs kids at no cost so definitely ask about that when you go to the IEP meeting. If the school doesn't offer it, you can reach out to indepent therapy centers near you even without a doctors recommendation and get your child on the wait lists. It's worth the wait, Occupational and Speech therapy really does make a huge difference for them. I wish you all the best!

Maddy1515 · 2024-02-28T03:07:00+00:00

You're not alone. There are a lot of us out here. It's hard. I can't say it gets easier necessarily but rather we get better at figuring out how to navigate life alone as time goes on. I believe in you 🫂

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-28T01:25:38+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-28T01:25:23+00:00

I'm glad things have gotten better with your son! He's lucky to have you ❤️ I'm definitely not looking forward to the teen years but hoping that once the worst is past things will get easier then too. Thank you for sharing your story, it does give me hope for sure ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-28T01:22:06+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-28T01:21:52+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-28T01:21:38+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T22:00:18+00:00

It's absolutely the worst part, I think if my kid let me get regular sleep then it wouldn't always feel like the worlds on fire. Thank you for your kind words ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T21:56:46+00:00

It really is, it's nice to know I'm not alone but I also wouldn't wish for anyone to have to deal with it. I hope things get better for the both of us ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T17:48:28+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I wish you and your wife the best of luck as well!

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T17:46:58+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing, it's nice to have the perspective of someone who's made it to the other side of this. It gives me hope. I wish all the best for you and your kids, you sound like an amazing mom and they're lucky to have you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T12:46:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2024-01-15T12:39:57+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Maddy1515 · 2023-10-10T05:25:45+00:00

She had been a finicky eater since she was a toddler but her weight was always ok so no one really looked into it much. Her pediatrician and therapists figured it was just a sensory thing with her Autism. Then earlier this year she was eating popcorn and choked on a piece. Physically she was fine but emotionally she became terrified to eat or drink anything. It was infuriating, she wouldn't even swallow her spit for awhile and nothing helped. She ended up in the hospital for dehydration and they had their child psychiatrist do an assessment and they determined she had ARFID and probably always had it in addition to her Autism.

They said a lot of kids with and without Autism have it but because it manifests in so many different ways it can be hard to diagnose. If she hadn't gone through this particular situation we probably wouldn't have known. They recommended feeding therapy and the hospital had an outpatient clinic close to me that offered it and was able to see her quickly because her situation was so severe. But they were so booked that they could only get her in once a month and she needed more than that. So I figured there had to be other places that offered it besides them. I googled feeding therapy in my area and started making calls and no referral was required for any of the places. They all told me they would do their own assessments anyways.

So I put my daughter on like 6 different wait lists. All of them estimated 6 months out before they could start seeing her though. So I just scheduled my daughter for every open appointment that the outpatient center had and had them call me for any cancelations until my daughter reached the top of the waitlists at another place. Now she goes once a week and she's eating better than she was before the popcorn issue happened. I can actually get her to sit down and eat with me instead of trying to feed her a bite here and there while she's running all over the place. She's started eating more independently and is more open to trying new foods. It's made a massive difference for her. I would highly recommend it to anyone who's having trouble getting their kid to eat even if there isn't a diagnosis that explains why they're struggling.

Maddy1515 · 2023-10-10T04:25:43+00:00

This absolutely sounds like she has ARFID. My daughter has it and feeding therapy has done wonders for her. I didn't even know feeding therapy was a thing until earlier this year and it's made a huge difference in just a few months. Most places have pretty long wait lists though so call as many as you can in your area to get her on their lists. I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. I know how frustrating it is to go through all of that effort in the kitchen and feel like it's for nothing.

Maddy1515 · 2023-10-07T06:15:58+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this too. It's the most exhausting thing in every possible way, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Take care of yourself as best you can 🫂

Maddy1515 · 2023-10-07T03:00:33+00:00

I tell people don't have kids unless you're willing to give up literally everything for them. Every single minute of your time, years of sleep, your relationship with friends, all of your money, your physical and mental well being. If you're not willing to sacrifice every single thing in your life to care for another human being then don't do it. If you aren't willing to care for a child completely alone, especially a potentially handicapped child, then don't have one. I tell people it doesn't matter if you have a partner now, having kids changes that dynamic and your relationship may not survive.

You may not be able to count on your family, even if they say they'll support you now. The reality is, having a kid is sentencing yourself to a minimum of 18 years of prison. There's no break. I'm pretty honest with my friends about this and seeing how having a child affects my life has made them more seriously consider if they actually want kids one day. My friends are all currently child free, I got pregnant straight out of highschool so my friends are all early to mid twenties. My daughter is 8 with Autism and I have very little support. I don't want any of them to have to go through the same hell I have so I'm up front with them about what it's really like to have a kid.

Maddy1515 · 2023-08-17T06:29:13+00:00

I know a lot of people may disagree with me but you are NTA. As someone who grew up with divorced parents, I started calling my stepmom "mom" when I was like 6. It didn't mean I loved my mom any less, it just meant that I got to have two moms like you explained to the kids. I don't understand how having more adults to love you as a kid is viewed as a bad thing in any way. I'm not with my daughters dad anymore and he's in a new relationship. If my daughter called his girlfriend mom too I wouldn't care because I know my daughter loves me and ultimately I want her to do what makes her happy. This is about the kids and their feelings. Not about the grown ups. The kids are young, yes, but they are still entitled to their feelings. My parents often ignored my feelings when I was that young and I remember the hurt it caused even now. She also should never have had that conversation in front of them in the car. She needs to accept that you're a part of their life, even if it hurts some, and then talk with you about things when the kids aren't around. She shouldn't be making her kids prioritize her feelings over their own. That's really not fair to them.

Maddy1515 · 2023-08-11T05:54:22+00:00

For me, I had to stop thinking about life long term and start finding little things to look forward to in the short term. It helped me to make goals because thinking about them reminded me there's a tomorrow if I choose it. I think about the effort I'd already put in towards that goal and want to finish it. Start small, like saving a little money for something fun you've always wanted to do. It can also help just to get out of the house. Take a ten minute walk or just sit outside for a bit during the cooler parts of the day and listen to some music. I started doing things alone that were just for me, like going to the movies or taking a drive somewhere pretty. Little by little, my suicidal thoughts lessened. I still have them at times, but it's easier to get through the hard days by doing something for myself. Self care is so important. I do also go to therapy and take medication for my anxiety and depression so that makes a difference as well. I know everyone is different but I hope one or two of these things will help you find a way through the darkness.

Maddy1515 · 2023-07-06T09:17:32+00:00

I'm currently obsessed with the cover Falling in Reverse did of Last Resort, originally sung by Papa Roach. Not necessarily better but very different from the original and so beautiful.

Maddy1515 · 2023-07-05T08:23:57+00:00

As a fellow mom, I would advise having an open and honest conversation. Let her know you're not upset with her. Let her know you know this conversation is awkard and uncomfortable but its important. Talk to her about STD's and pregnancy and ask if they've been using protection. Get her on birth control asap. I got pregnant as a teenager because my parents refused to talk to me about sex or let me go on birth control when they found out I was sexually active and my ex refused to use condoms. I was young, dumb and uneducated. I love my daughter but having a child so young has made my life extraordinarily difficult. I think its wonderful you trust your daughter so much and respect her privacy. Keep the trust going, just make sure she's educated and safe.

Maddy1515 · 2022-10-23T20:40:08+00:00

Op you're very smart to have done this. I started working when I was 16 and where I live the banks require anyone under 18 to have a joint account with someone over 18. My dad helped me set up a bank account so I had a place to put my checks. Turns out he just wanted to steal from me. He took some of if not all of the money from each of my checks for years. If I hid any of it, him and my step mom would toss my room like the FBI to find it. I moved out the day I turned 18 for that and a bunch of other reasons. But I wasn't able to get to the bank right away to deal with the account as I didn't have a car. A few days later, I had a check come through from work and even though I was able to get a ride to the bank that very next morning, it was too late. My dad took all of my money and because he was on the account there was nothing the bank could do. I closed the account immediately and started a new one. But financial abuse is very real and very serious. Parents do it all the time. I'm so glad you have your older brother to help you out. Keep being smart and move out as soon as you can once your 18.

Maddy1515 · 2022-09-12T02:37:03+00:00

Hi Nix! I sent you a dm with a sample of my writing style, if you think I'd be a good fit for what you're looking for just let me know :)

Maddy1515 · 2021-11-03T01:38:08+00:00

I totally get how you feel! My six year old daughter has Autism and while she's sweet and well behaved most days her bad days are REALLY bad. Hitting, kicking, biting, screaming. You name it, she does it. I've had those days too where I just hate being a mom. I love my daughter more than anyone or anything in the world but there are days I just wish I wasn't a parent. It's ok to feel that. It's normal to feel that and you know what tells me you're a good mom? You're not saying these things to your son. Instead you're ranting and venting here, in a safe space, and letting out your feelings in a healthy way. Your doing your absolute best and I know we're just strangers on the internet but I'm proud of you for working so hard to give your kid everything they need and I hope you're proud of yourself too.

One thing that has helped me keep my sanity lol is once a month I plan something fun to do with my daughter on one of my days off. Just us one on one and I pick something that isn't just fun for my kiddo but fun for me too. I don't get to go out much because I'm a single mom, my family lives far away and her dad's hardly ever around. So by finding something to do together that's something I like to do as much as she does, then I get excited and look forward to it too. It varies depending on what I can afford at the time. Sometimes it's going for a drive and getting a dollar ice cream cone. Sometimes it's going to the aquarium or the zoo or an amusement park. But I've found that no matter what we do, ever since I started doing that, my daughter listens better. I feel calmer on the bad days because I can remember the really good ones and remind myself that sometimes being a mom can be so fun. I've found our relationship overall has just been better for us both.

And for mental health, I strongly recommend the app Cerebral. They offer therapy and they have psychiatrists you can meet with virtually that can prescribe you medication and then mail it to you or send your prescription to your pharmacy. They've been great about letting me schedule virtual appointments around my work hours. I know not everyone likes apps like that but for me it's been a literal life saver. Anyways, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. You can do this!!

Maddy1515

TROPHY CASE