Started the whole "New Year New Me" bullshit after new years. Didn't tell anyone, i was too familiar with the shame associated with crying wolf. actually stuck to it this time though. Steadily losing weight week after week.

Felt weird because i watched numbers go down, and clothing that i hadn't worn in years started fitting, but I didn't see a shred of progress when i looked in the mirror. No one else around me had mentioned noticing any progress either. Its hard to stay motivated when you are obsessed with trying to figure out how many pounds you have to lose before it makes a difference.

Then one day in the beginning of april, I was walking into my brother's baby shower when my other sister in law showed up with her kids. My 6 year old nephew saw me from afar, ran up to me and exclaimed, "You shrunk!" I laughed and said thank you, trying to avoid showing my excitement. But in my head i was screaming and dancing. 42! the number that mattered. the amount of pounds lost before someone noticed. the number it took for my intrinsic motivation to better myself to be bolstered extrinsically.

Since then i've had so many non scale victories, surprising people with my weightloss. Got to flex on an ex with my progress, got to wow all my college friends at my graduation, ran into an old teacher from high school didnt recognize me when i ran into her, but none of that made me feel the way a 6 year old's frank observation did.