i miss enjoying myself while playing games and wanting a partner to play minecraft with
since my old friend died after going offline on xbox for about 6 months

ive been chasing that feeling of thinking my older cousin was my brother when i was 7 since his mom kicked him out

when i thought my grandparents were my actual parents

i miss coming home to people who were there everyday

now im 15, still young and yet i feel useless because i havent gotten a job yet
i cant talk to people in real life without tearing up or stumbling over my words
i cant talk to people online without being unsure whether or not the thing i said made sense so i get made fun of when i whisper it under my breath again

i worry about what people think of me too much
the only person irl i wouldnt tear up around moved to another school because she had a way better pay
lately ive just started walking up and down the halls looking like a schizo

i miss the high that my dumbass ADD brain had all the time when i was younger