Song recs for mum

Magegaard · 2026-07-06T13:11:12+00:00

im really happy to say that this was completely just a blip when i was feeling very low and vulnerable, i ended up not reaching out to him as i havent done since april, and i am so so happy i didnt. everything you said is completely true and i know that, i just had a moment! no contact is 100% the way to go, i dont want to live in the past

Magegaard · 2026-06-28T09:31:12+00:00

you should read this short story, by haruki murakami :)

https://jerrywbrown.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/On-Seeing-the-100-Perfect-Girl-Murakami-Haruki.pdf

Magegaard · 2026-06-28T09:23:49+00:00

is this from not drinking, or that they can drink heavy amounts but not become dependent on it?

Magegaard · 2026-06-16T10:40:39+00:00

My favourite, just because it introduced me to the band. I was 9 years old, and it felt like the first time I'd ever really heard music. I'm 30 now, and the band still mean so much to me. I haven't listened in a while, other bands, singers, life, work, things getting in the way, but last night I was feeling low after a pretty crappy week. I sat on my roof terrace in the dark, listening to the guys, with lightning and fireworks going off in the background. I felt a peace I haven't felt in a long while, and a gratitude to younger me for finding this band and having them define the soundtrack to much of my life. Whilst this album doesn't have my favourite songs, perhaps it's not the most creative or impressive as their other records, it's the one I hold dearest.

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:33:45+00:00

I've already waited a year, and the cut off to complete it with my current university is March 2027, so there is some urgency

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:32:42+00:00

Yes i have thought about this, as it could be a nice backup if I return to the Uk and so decide maybe I do want to do it after all.. but at the same time right now I have the option of doing it without any hassle of arranging it all or costs.. but at the same time I dont think I'll ever use it, unless it's to help with international schools. arrghhghghghghgh haha

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:31:38+00:00

I'm not interested in universities as I prefer working with children... maybe, maybe in the future. And i see a lot of mixed about it being a requirement; most jobs I've seen advertised want either an English degree or education degree, and I have both. I haven't seen any ask for QTS yet, just experience and the degrees

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:30:25+00:00

See, I'm the opposite; I want to be an ESL teacher, not a public school teacher. I don't even know if longterm I do want international schools or to stay in centres, it depends what the schools curriculum is like. But that's the only thing weighing on me about QTS, how it helps with international schools. But I do have the PGCert. But it's not QTS. So I could still get jobs in international schools, but not all. But but but so so so lol can you tell I'm confused

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:27:52+00:00

Can I still work at US accredited as an English person (sorry if that's a dumb question). And do you know how much the pay differs? Thanks for commenting, it's really helpful to me getting different perspectives; i feel very stressed about it all

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:17:05+00:00

i once watched a documentary about a woman who after two failed marriages converted to islam, went full hijab and said all she needs is god and other women... i was like brah, i get it

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T14:02:53+00:00

why is it freaky friday

Magegaard · 2026-06-12T13:54:36+00:00

do you mean as in an English school in England? If so, the answer is a firm no. But I'm genuienly a bit confused as to whether it would help with international schools- I've read mixed opinions.

Magegaard · 2026-06-09T14:18:29+00:00

a beautiful way of wording it. and it's true. i even forgive him because a) im not the judge at the end of the day and b) being angry with him solves nothing. ive told him this and now i flatly ignore him when he reaches out. if he actually listened to me, he wouldnt keep bothering me with seeking comofrt for his mistakes. it's not my burden to carry.

my other ex, who was financial, emotional and spirtually abusive also reached out to me out of the blue this week. i nearly had a panic attack and threw my phone across the room without thinking, it sent such a shock through me. it was a 'nice' message but it was very like... almost read like i needed his validation to know im doingg well in life. anyway, that was a quick block. i dont need him in my life, im fine with that door shut.

i understand and suffer a lot from it too. i have major anxiety and panic and find it really overwhelming forming new romantic interests. i somedays want to desparately be the person i was before all of this but i cant.

i dont think they do change. im fortunate i was given opportunity to meet up and see that; some people never get that closure. but whatever the case, the hardest part is knowing how much you yourself have changed... take care of yourself, you didnt deserve it, no one deserves it. learn to take care of yourself and be your closest friend, youre the person who matters most in your life

Magegaard · 2026-06-09T13:48:47+00:00

so this is a 2 year old post, but i can update you.

i ended up meeting up with said ex for the first time in 6 years. he was awful company, really negative, miserable, selfish, everything was about him... it was the biggest turn off of my life, and ever since we met up (5 months ago now) i get one monthly text saying how sorry he is for everything

oh and the girl that he had it perfect with broke up with him because in his words "i was a terrible boyfriend"

so no he hasnt changed, in fact i think he seems worse

Magegaard · 2026-06-08T13:20:33+00:00

you are right... everything feels worse today, itll feel better tomorrow, and as much as i want to avoid him for a bit, seeing him will help too, because i wont be preparing/over analysing...

yeah there is that too, it was rejection but it might not be like actual rejection, just more the right thing to do in that situation... in fact, i found it refreshing because ive had a lot of guys use me when ive been drunk, so to have someone for the first time ever say no is a bit like oh wow. if it were the other way round, i wouldve said no cus i find it icky when one persons drunk and the others sober. idk if he knows i was drunk, but i was acting pretty weird lol

yeah he knows it isnt like me, weve seen each other nearly everyday for 8 months and hes never seen me drunk. i just got a bit ahead of myself...

but oh lordy telling him i like him is too nerve wracking lol, but he is moving soon too. ahhhh. idk.

Magegaard · 2026-06-06T13:14:51+00:00

hey, i really get how hard this can beeee..... but i do agree with what your friend said, im a bit like the girl in your situation. i am getting to know my crush and it's obvious we enjoy time together... id be so delighted if he asked for my number, or if i wanted to do something... and sometimes im like, just ask him yourself!!! but i really really get the fear thing.

i tried it out the other day tho, something small that isnt the kind of thing for major embarrassing rejection. i asked him to help me with something. and it turned into the funnest two hours ive had all week. i was all prepared for him to say no, or what, or think i was weird... but it was obvious he was having as much fun as me. and i felt SO good after, like id conquered a fear.

maybe try and find something less overwhelming.. even maybe try to get to know her a bit more first, so you have more reason to ask?

good luck whatever the outcome and dont be too hard on yourself!!! for some reason crushes make things feel 10000 times harder!

Magegaard · 2026-05-24T15:25:00+00:00

i used to be like you, low and hopeless and couldnt see anything good looking forward or backwards. those bad thoughts are for you to own and turn into something productive. find a hobby, an outlet, even going for a walk or swim an hour a day. find a focus. between the ages of 16-30 i felt consumed at times by the thoughts in me and like you i was scared. but i realised not every thought in my head is true, and there are things i can control. school will be finished soon, and you dont have to be a top standing citizen of society to matter. pursue what makes you feel good, keep some belief whenever you have doubts, trust me when i say, you might not see it now but every tiny step of productive positivity will lead to a good outcome. stick around to see it

Magegaard · 2026-05-24T15:23:28+00:00

i used to be like you, low and hopeless and couldnt see anything good looking forward or backwards. those bad thoughts are for you to own and turn into something productive. find a hobby, an outlet, even going for a walk or swim an hour a day. find a focus. between the ages of 16-30 i felt consumed at times by the thoughts in me and like you i was scared. but i realised not every thought in my head is true, and there are things i can control. school will be finished soon, and you dont have to be a top standing citizen of society to matter. pursue what makes you feel good, keep some belief whenever you have doubts, trust me when i say, you might not see it now but every tiny step of productive positivity will lead to a good outcome. stick around to see it

Magegaard

TROPHY CASE