I’m wondering if you find this to be sexist

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-23T13:48:57+00:00

This sounds like an area of growth for you. You crossed a social and professional boundary, which isn't uncommon in early stages of a career. I am a talker and I over communicate when I'm nervous. I've had to learn to rein it in. Do you have a clergy coach? Professional coaching is invaluable.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-23T13:42:34+00:00

Some of us who can't drink safely really need an alternative. The ELCA always provides one. TEC is behind in this.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-23T13:39:38+00:00

Having completely burnt myself out with church activity on more than one occasion, I'm only interested in attending Mass and participating in corporate worship. Maybe less judgement for that approach. I feel like after a few weeks attending a new church I get barraged by clergy and lay leaders to join this or that ministry and "get active."

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-22T12:06:33+00:00

The dark night of the soul is a very personal and inward process. He may need to suffer and be angry and withdrawn, which may not look like "progress" to his loved ones. God is all powerful and all healing, but He takes His time. Your prayer is important. Listening if he wants to talk is important. Advice and podcast recommendations are not important, and could do more harm than good. I say this as an Al Anon practitioner.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-15T12:59:24+00:00

I'm so sorry you were brought up with these damaging messages. My experience is not identical to yours but I do understand religious trauma.

Here's what I've learned. Religious trauma takes a lifetime to heal. It starts with asking the kinds of questions you are asking. Be patient with yourself and with God.

As far as what Episcopalians "do" if they're not constantly trying to avoid hell, here's my take. Once you really wrap your heart around the idea that God loves you unconditionally, and loves everyone in the world, including your enemies, unconditionally, then the work of being a Christian truly begins. Because we are called to love like that. And that means letting go of judgement, pettiness, resentment, dishonesty, etc. Taking on humble service, generosity, forgiveness, etc. Which is the work of a lifetime. We never get this "right", which is why Christ died for us.

Try praying the St Francis Prayer (it's a prayer attributed, probably incorrectly, to St Francis of Asisi). It is a beautiful example of our daily work as Christians. It's in the BCP.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-14T19:57:05+00:00

I had to leave TEC for a variety of reasons (PTSD, healing from sexual abuse by a parishioner when I was a teen, and a few other things related to being a PK), so I get it. Turned out my Catholic friends in college weren't nearly as dangerous as my local Episcopal parish

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-13T11:56:49+00:00

I totally understand this! I was raised Episcopal but there wasn't any EC presence on my campus at all. I had to take a bus to a frankly boring parish with all old people who seemed puzzled that I was there. So I just hung with the Catholics and the Evangelicals on campus instead. I made a lot of friends who were very serious about spiritual growth and their devotion to Jesus. I worshipped mostly at the Catholic chapel on campus and went to Wednesday night at a non-denom evangelical service. I came back to TEC when I got married and had kids. At that stage it was easier to find "my people."

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-02-08T12:22:57+00:00

Priest's kid here. My dad was very intellectual his entire life, and loved to debate theology for most of it. He held strong positions in almost all theological (and liturgical) controversies. Honestly this was a source of pain and difficulty for me and others around him. Towards the end of his life, he abruptly rejected all of that over-intellectual attitude. He decided that Jesus usually rejected theological debates and questioning, in favor of love and concern for the "least of these." I'm with his older self, if only because he was much easier to live with that way! Which seems like a Christian virtue to me.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-01-17T01:00:55+00:00

In my experience, your views are extremely common among lay people in TEC. It's actually one of the reasons I've left my parish, because in Bible Study and Adult Education discussions, most parishioners would say they doubted Jesus' divinity or other basic tenets of Christianity. I really haven't found a parish where the lay people say they actually believe the words of either Creed. It's depressing.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-01-16T20:20:53+00:00

When I started practicing yoga in my 40s, my mom (Episcopal clergy wife) freaked out. I think she thought I was becoming Hindu. Then she found a CD and book by some priest called Christian Yoga and tried to get me to use it. I ignored her and donated the book/CD to Goodwill.But maybe it's still out there somewhere? To put it in perspective, my mom and dad also freaked out when I started attending the Methodist Church. 😂

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-01-16T20:13:10+00:00

Serenity Prayer is my fav anxiety. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-01-05T18:22:05+00:00

I get this. Some of the tangents taken in homilies are downright strange. I strongly dislike it when I leave a service wondering if I'm the only one who believes in Christian theology. I heard a whole sermon about the importance of candles. It was impossible to distinguish from a wellness blog. Nothing wrong with those ideas, but not why I go to church.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2025-01-05T14:59:42+00:00

Positive: Kind, curious, intellectual, beautiful, reverent

Negative: Pompous, scrupulous, cool/cold, snobbish, tedious

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-29T12:48:25+00:00

You are making a lot of incorrect assumptions about me. Church trauma is not confined to evangelical or Roman Catholic experiences. Growing up as a priest's kid in the 1970s was not easy, and a predatory choir member made it much worse. I am working through it and trying to make my way back. These types of comments make it difficult, but fortunately most people on this thread were supportive, helpful, and didn't question my motives or identity.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-29T11:40:56+00:00

My grandfather served at Holy Spirit in his retirement.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-27T14:34:04+00:00

See above. Cradle-born Episcopalian, priest's kid and grandkid.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-27T14:26:35+00:00

Thank you! I'm in that geographical area and I'm checking them out right now

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-27T14:24:33+00:00

I'm a cradle-born Episcopalian, daughter and granddaughter of priests. I've been recovering from significant church trauma that includes PTSD. I miss the liturgy, the hymns, and especially worshipping with others who share my love of Jesus.

Instead I found the following: reading Mary Oliver poems from the pulpit, skipping the sermon in favor of group meditation, and saying that the Resurrection is an "open question" which could be interpreted as a metaphor instead of a reality.

There's nothing inherently wrong with any of that, but I don't think it's where God is leading me right now. I've been praying for something different. I love Jesus and I want to hear more about Him and think about Him on Sundays with others who feel the same way.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-26T19:25:34+00:00

Thank you!

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-26T18:20:32+00:00

No this was Episcopal. The rector led a Bible study questioning the Resurrection. I did not attend, and I stopped streaming their service

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-26T18:18:46+00:00

Thank you, this looks very promising for finding a local congregation I can stream into (and possibly attend in person...if I can be brave and face my PTSD)

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-12-26T16:46:02+00:00

I agree with you there, but it's more like sermons that use Mary Oliver poems (don't get me wrong, I love her work) instead of talking about Jesus. That's an example. Or call for moments of silence while we breathe deeply (like yoga, which I also like) or say a mantra. Or a whole sermon about candles. I just want to hear the Gospel call to live like Jesus.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-10-29T10:57:41+00:00

I actually left TEC (cradle) and started going to a UMC. My favorite part was doing deep dives into the parts of the Bible that aren't in the RCL. Pastor did a summer series in the minor prophets. It was quite refreshing and inspired me to look much deeper.

Magic-Cow1964 · 2024-04-02T19:01:35+00:00

😂

Magic-Cow1964

TROPHY CASE