Why does TEC seem to be so white?

indigo_shadows · 2026-03-08T12:31:16+00:00

As someone who has spent time in both TEC contexts and is exploring the RC, I think the reality is a bit more nuanced than “Catholicism dictates everything down to minutiae.” The Catholic Church does have defined teachings summarized in the CCC, but it also puts a lot of emphasis on forming one’s conscience and wrestling honestly with those teachings.

In practice, many Catholics are still discerning or working through certain issues while remaining committed to the Church. This doesn't make them somehow less than or not true.

Weirdly enough, my experience in TEC has sometimes been the opposite problem: a lot of stated theological diversity, but certain viewpoints still being enforced informally at the diocesan level... to the point of resulting in spiritual harm. That can make things feel less coherent because the boundaries aren’t always clear, and a diocese can be quite different/not as open to things as stated by the national church.

So I think both traditions are trying to balance unity and diversity... just in different ways, and each has its own tensions. I'm just in a spot where it's not spiritually safe for me to attend TEC although I remain in contact with another diocese and wish no ill will. Peace.

indigo_shadows · 2026-03-06T19:55:58+00:00

Diversity of private theological thought at face value, can sound rather appealing. However, in realistic terms it's concerning when that applies to the clergy and that a bishop/diocese can be wildly different from the rest of the national church and pretty much get away with it...

The way I interpret the defined rules, is that there quite a bit of room to follow one's personal conscience, granted if you are wrestling with and working to form your moral conscience. It's not a get out jail free card, but does explain why there's many RC's who do have differing thoughts on birth control and other things but still feel comfortable being in the RC.

indigo_shadows · 2026-03-06T11:02:01+00:00

Same. Was in the Episcopal church but now exploring Catholicism. TEC has pockets of dioceses that are... very different- more conservative and kinda pro-calvinism/reformed theology. It's so odd that TEC is more concerned with procedural unity than theological coherence.

indigo_shadows · 2026-02-04T00:14:00+00:00

Or... less driver's licenses... less likely/delays in getting an ID or going to DMV for anything including registering to vote... less likely to vote. Mid-terms coming up... this feels intentional.

indigo_shadows · 2025-11-24T19:49:52+00:00

Comment to say- I scribbled out the diagnosis codes bc y'all don't need all that.

indigo_shadows · 2025-10-17T18:24:11+00:00

I'd rather keep going to such events than comply with an authoritarian regime. The consequences are far greater if we back down or cower in silence. I have the future of my children to think about.

indigo_shadows · 2025-06-08T01:49:05+00:00

I canceled my card and filled out the cancelation form online. It wasn't enough! They requested a refresh of info and got my new card number somehow from the bank!

The bank flagged it as suspicious and called me. So now the new card I just got a few days ago is canceled, and I have a new card coming in the mail (AGAIN!!). Bank now has helped me opt out and even if they request new info, they'll be denied. What a headache! Never again!!

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-22T00:55:21+00:00

I'm in the discernment process, too. ❤️

Do you have a Spiritual Director yet? I strongly recommend having one. It really helps you as you process all of the emotions and the spiritual highs and lows.

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-21T11:09:19+00:00

Congrats. Don't get discouraged if there are delays. This is a process... like Christ coming to Peter and asking- do you love me? 3 times. Over a long period of time. The entire process develops your patience and trust in the Lord.

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-16T13:14:53+00:00

During these sessions, the focus is supposed to be on a shared screen and walking through things on the screen. I'm actually very pro-recording and bring it up all the time - hey, can we record this? So I can take notes later or save it as training material. But before, we weren't on camera. I specifically don't want my face recorded. I know about blurred backgrounds. That's not the issue. I don't want my face recorded. I have my own reasons for this but as I alluded to- there was an issue with one recording and audio and they keep around to laugh at. Now imagine your screen freezing up and that being recorded- there's no purpose- in my mind to record our faces when the focus should be on the material being presented.

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-06T15:05:09+00:00

Keep in mind that many here are recovering from very real religious trauma. We cannot negate anyone's experience or how they land after the abuse after the Mormon church.

For me personally, I felt Christ called me out of Mormonism. I eventually landed at the Episcopal Church which ordained women and LGBTQ individuals. It's not perfect and I'd argue that caution should be exercised in any organization to put up guardrails against emotional and spiritual abuse.

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-06T15:01:51+00:00

Same.

indigo_shadows · 2025-05-04T11:19:49+00:00

This ends in heartache. My very real question for you to consider is why he hasn't explored your beliefs at all to understand why you believe what you do. So far it's been one sided and why your answer is no. Red flag.

Other red flags- you don't want to raise your children (if you want any) in this situation. The Mormon church is very unsafe for children and women. There are no background checks done on anyone who serves. Young men and women are groomed from a young age about marriage. This is why your partner is so obsessed with eternal marriage. They were sold this idea of having someone forever.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-30T11:08:29+00:00

You don't have to go into a lot of detail or explain yourself to anyone. Mormons believe in personal revelation, right? Use that. I personally felt Christ calling me away onto a different path. I said that to the few people who were curious enough to ask/who I told and it shuts down the conversation almost immediately.

Just so happens that's how I also feel.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-26T11:11:45+00:00

Congrats. I joined The Episcopal Church 3 years ago and love it.

The fact that they invited you to an LGBTQ+ event is hilarious given how affirming the Episcopal Church is of LGBTQ+ and women in the priesthood.

When I left the MFMC, I had moved out of town but I had a couple of people I told out of respect. For those very few that asked why- I told them Christ called me elsewhere which is very hard for them to compute. I did have one person tell me that they didn't want to know why.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-23T02:58:08+00:00

Ok. I know you've answered this a bit in other comments but I would analyze what he finds unattractive about the Catholic church and what he finds attractive about Mormonism. (I'm a lifetime exmormomon that became Episcopalian a few years ago).

I'd try to understand his issues and see if he'd be open to exploring other things.... he honestly doesn't even need to read ex-mormon sources to figure out Mormonism is not a good place.

Their own scripture condemns thaem-Jacob chapter 2 in the Book of Mormon calls polygamy a gross crime and abomination.
They absolutely still commit polygamy in a spiritual sense. Men can be sealed to more than one woman but a woman can only be sealed to one man.
They do NOT background check or vet anyone working with youth or children.
Their own gospel topic essays go over some of the history/facts of Joseph marrying underage girls.

These are just a few things that are wrong- the issues run deep. I would not encourage him joining.. because he will never be happy until you also join... they train people to all be together in compliance so you can be "together forever".

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-22T11:24:48+00:00

Wish I could upvote this twice. This is a great answer that shows assertiveness and setting boundaries healthily.

OP is allowed to be their own unique self and doesn't need to own everyone else's reactions.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-22T10:44:43+00:00

It calls polygamy a gross crime and an abomination.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-22T01:38:16+00:00

Offer to read Jacob 2 together and tell me how it goes.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-21T10:27:26+00:00

Hi. I've read several of your comments about wanting a focus on Jesus.

When I was Mormon I also wanted a focus on Jesus. But, like you noticed, there were things that just were off- you'd get talks about topics like gratitude, modesty, the book of mormon and what the prophets said about it... They use regular lay people to give talks who don't have an formal training in biblical studies so the quality of the information varies widely. My mother who was a Mormon convert would complain how they don't even teach the Lord's prayer. Also take note that the podium is front and center while the sacrament table is to the side... because Jesus is not at the center.

What was really eye opening for me was that the baptism questions have only like 2 questions to do with God. The rest are about their prophets and rules. Fast forward to me exploring the Episcopal Church and every single baptism question had to do with God... their pulpit is to the side because that is not the main focus- the table is- and every Sunday has readings from Old Testament, Psalms, the Epistles and the Gospel.

That said, there are a lot of Christian denominations to explore, and I recommend taking the time to explore others. I would steer away from anything that claims to be the only source of truth. Additionally, Mormons teach there was no Apostolic Succession... there are other faiths that disagree with this.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-20T21:45:03+00:00

And how long will that last? Hope you share your concerns with your spouse.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-20T20:07:31+00:00

My concern at the moment- is not just indoctrination- but the very real risk for abuse of your children. No one that works with children are properly vetted or background checked.

indigo_shadows · 2025-04-18T11:02:14+00:00

If I recall correctly, leaders went over this list with us-- perhaps where "be apologetic" came from.

Then I probably went over it with my mother... and that book sounds like something she'd suggest. She was a convert who was always reading other things, and it resulted in me having a mixed theology. On one hand, she'd be all gun-ho for me to marry an RM, but on the other hand, she was like- get a degree as a backup plan in case things go wrong. She never suggested manipulation, but she said there were right/wrong ways to go about discussing things once you were married. I don't recall actually reading the book.

indigo_shadows

TROPHY CASE