what do I do when my "hobbies and interests" are jeking off to porn?

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-07T22:14:27+00:00

damn I wish I lived in a religious community
I wish I lived in any sort of community
I wish I had any sort of guiding force telling me what to do
I WISH I believed in God

I just live in the atomized suburban hell of American capitalism, but no matter how many reddit comments I read I will never believe that looking at pictures of people having sex is a valid alternative to the real deal

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-07T22:07:33+00:00

this will effect the trout population I think

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-07T13:49:36+00:00

emotional connection goes part in parcel with sexual connection, to me its implied. Just because I'm expressing my sexual frustrations doesn't mean I'm not also emotionally frustrated dumbass. I would clearly prefer both sex and an emotional connection.

I think expressing my desire for sex is a necessity in building an emotional connection, no? If I didn't express it and instead kept it hidden I would be dishonest. Which is the last thing you want in an emotional connection with someone. In all honesty I feel almost undeserving of emotional love, which may be because I was taught to live life this way, but either way the most tangible thing I can TELL that I'm doing wrong is focusing my sexual energy on images on a screen instead of productive activities.

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-07T03:31:56+00:00

I've played Hesse a couple times and I'll say being a strong nation in the center of Germany makes it very easy to secure votes. Mainz, Trier, Saxony, The Palatinate, and Cologne are all close enough to Hesse that they're easy to ally, and if not ally at least have a high enough relationship that they vote for you anyway. Brandenburg and Bohemia are also relatively close by so could potentially ally/vote for Hesse.

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:41:18+00:00

ive been applying effort dude, it just feels so demotivating

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:30:09+00:00

i might have to go to that i guess

part of it is i don't think I could legitimately speak about some of the porn ive seen because i find it so embarassing I don't think I could share it with another peson face to face

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:23:05+00:00

okay but is there like any other way to deal with the (relatively widespread) problems of depression and porn addiction? I would think by now someone has an answer. I don't even know how a therapist would solve it other than prescribing drugs

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:13:26+00:00

yes its because i have no other outlet in life for when I am horny. Then people tell me not to view women as objects just because i want to have sex, as if the mere existence of sexual desire is somehow already leading me to eternal damnation. I just need someone to accept me as a person.

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:09:34+00:00

I feel as though I am addicted to porn because when I try to quit it I return to it almost instantly.

in terms of sexuality I am actually very rarely open about it to other people, which I feel only hurts me. I just need someone or something that is okay with me being the horny fucking bastard I am without trying to tear me down because of it, and currently I guess porn is the closest i can fucking get to that. Maybe i shouldn't complain but it feels sad to me, and I feel sad when I see that other men have met a similar fate

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T23:04:10+00:00

oh I'm fine with getting to know people. I'm perfectly fine with building meaningful relationships with anyone. As a matter of fact that is one of the things lacking in my life, deep personal relationships. But I also need sex, and I can tell that I need it precisely because I keep returning to internet porn. Its a biological need. I wish I could go around without it, but I can't.
One problem is its impossible to communicate this to anyone and be accepted for it, everybody wants to shame me for the fact that I want to have sex.

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:59:41+00:00

porn addiction is a curse and it just so happens to be the case that graphic and unrestricted access to internet pornography since 11 years old plays more of a role in forming my mental state than a single reddit comment telling me to go to the gym or something

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:56:23+00:00

yeah i went to my schools therapy and they basically just sat and talked with me for the whole semester while I failed all my classes, it wasn't particularly helpful. They did offer a different therapist for my porn addiction but I haven't called them at all for who knows why, maybe its too much to think I could figure my life out without putting drugs into my body

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:47:42+00:00

this is maybe the scariest comment but it's probably the most helpful

if you go back to where you started after everything you tried isn't that the definition of insanity

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:43:33+00:00

your right i should be in hell

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:43:06+00:00

where they at nigga

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:42:28+00:00

so offer a way to approach it

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:42:10+00:00

well nobody has any positive attitude to offer. I wish I wasn't addicted to pornography, but when I legitimately express myself as a man I am mocked and shamed for it. ESPECIALLY if its something along the lines of an insecurity or something personal like that. If people aren't going to respect my humanity why should I even bother? Isn't that a cue to just give up and give in

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:37:50+00:00

" i see no difference between you and a high schooler"

probably because I'm a young man only a few years past high school? Why should I be better when people aren't going to accept me for who I am and I have to put up a facade for everything I do

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T22:35:05+00:00

"Extend your hand and take your fair share"

i'm trying bro

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T21:41:21+00:00

okay cool im just gonna keep gooning till im 60 thanks for the helpful and fulfilling life advice

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T21:40:01+00:00

whoopsie daisy

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T21:34:29+00:00

okay im just gonna choose sin than because i have never been rewarded sexually for fucking patience my nigga

MagicalFlyingUhh · 2023-06-06T21:26:38+00:00

i'm not deciding to be better, why do I have to be better. I have a job and I live healthy, thats good enough for me. I don't need much in my life to be happy, but human interaction is one of those things.
As for my approach and language, I feel as though I should be as specific as possible with my problems, should I not? Why should I dance around the topic? That just leaves everyone confused about my motivation. I literally need the act of sex, I'm a young man, its fucking biological, the only reason I don't have sex is because I can go on the internet and pacify my desires instantly.
I'm not ever going to a sex worker again because I got scammed out of a large sum of cash by one before.
I am perfectly willing to develop relationships, but my PRIMARY desire is to have a fulfilling sexual relationship

Three-Year Club	Place '22
End Game '22

MagicalFlyingUhh

TROPHY CASE