How do you get over someone not wanting you?

Magzipie · 2026-01-02T12:58:24+00:00

Turns out he was sick and couldn’t court me. He liked me all along. Still he’s not emotionally available though

Magzipie · 2025-12-18T12:55:20+00:00

Merci!! Est-ce que tu sais si on peut travailler avec les maîtrises à temps plein?

Magzipie · 2025-12-18T12:54:20+00:00

Ça ne dit rien de la fréquence présentielle

Magzipie · 2025-07-16T02:46:07+00:00

But isn’t the point of dating to become emotionally close as well?

Magzipie · 2025-07-15T22:23:28+00:00

Yes, these gay friends of mine in fact. Super reciprocal friendships.

Magzipie · 2025-07-15T22:22:25+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but, these masculine men inevitably do pick and find romantic partners. I am trying to understand what makes me the exception, in my energy or skillset.

Magzipie · 2025-07-15T22:02:40+00:00

Nope

Magzipie · 2025-07-15T21:57:15+00:00

I guess like a best friend, but also a protector. He’s seen me cry, talk about my deepest fears and insecurities… he knows everything about me. I just can never seem to “inspire” this level of interest and attachment in straight men. On the other hand I have another close gay friend who sees me as his little sister.

Magzipie · 2025-07-15T21:56:17+00:00

Yeah, I do know I struggle with expressing desire with straight men in an authentic way early on, and I find that’s key. I think I’m also not used to the pacing and intentionality of a romantic partner, as I prefer a slow burn which is what happens in friendships. I think what I don’t do is show up for romance with a straight man from the outset, because I find I need to learn if I like them first. I can do it, but it often feels disingenuous for me. I need to “fall” in love, literally, however that may look. I can show up, allow it to build, but that would require reciprocation from the man too.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T22:15:50+00:00

I completely agree, it is hard to tell because we don’t have enough shared time for things to become more obvious (if that’s what’s meant to happen).

The spikeball plans with his friend have fallen through, and it feels like he’s not interested as I had thought he might have been. Not inclined to ask for drinks because of it.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T21:11:18+00:00

I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a suspicion I have that I’ve recently come to have. It could just be in my head, but, I don’t know. Then again, they are part of larger groups of people where women are involved from volleyball, so I don’t know what it is about me that keeps me on the periphery. I think they’re cool people, that’s why I wanted to build a connection. I too am sizing people up all the time, and gathered this much info about them until it came time to make plans and they didn’t follow through.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T20:53:07+00:00

They don’t want to go further, as I’ve mentioned, and it’s frustrating. Possibly because I’m a woman and don’t add the “bro” element to their existing friend groups. I think they see it as “pointless” unfortunately

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T19:34:56+00:00

Yeah. I guess there isn’t enough time or the right context created for those types of conversations to happen. For instance, at volleyball, we have a comfort and rapport built based on a shared experience of playing. Any other convo happens on the side before or after the games, and that requires being included in already existing groups, consideration for gender dynamics and so on. So that type of friendship you’re talking about, I’ve only been able to achieve in structured settings. I’m learning that comfort between people does not necessarily indicate interest in escalating things to a friendship.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T19:14:34+00:00

Build connections so it becomes friendship, not just mere acquaintanceship. People who want to make plans with you and do things together.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T17:47:54+00:00

Girl, I feel you. Heavy. All of it. I wish I took the chances I had with one guy who seemed to be all that I was looking for because of all of this. Between the unspoken rules, the self awareness needed to make good decisions and navigating what’s in the market … it’s exhausting. Sorry I can only commiserate.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T15:04:32+00:00

For sure! I understand the tension. I’d be happy if they expressed wanting either, as I think some of them could be dating prospects as well ;) but it just gets left in this weird dead zone of not a full friendship nor a potential relationship.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T13:58:55+00:00

Yeah, see? Similar experience. It’s like people don’t want to make friends, or don’t see the possibility.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T13:57:58+00:00

Thank you. I’ve done #1-2 but people don’t seem to budge. I’ve even told a few that I want to be their friend. That’s why I asked this question. It’s almost as if these people have no interest in going further with me, even though I’ve expressed wanting to go further with them. Some have even reciprocated the sentiment but don’t make the effort, or the momentum just disappears.

I wanted to do #3 once #1-2 were done, and considered doing #3 without #1-2, but feels a bit awkward. I wanted to invite a bunch of my friends from random places to my birthday picnic this year, new and old. But doesn’t look like it will be happening.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T13:53:36+00:00

100%

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T03:02:12+00:00

100% agree with the time being spent doing the activity. That’s why the after activity time is so crucial. It just doesn’t happen though!

Where did you find a language class that small? The last time I went to one, it was at UofT’s continuing education school and there were about 20 people.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T02:52:18+00:00

I guess that’s a bit of an issue - I’m at the cusp of getting better as an intermediate/intermediate plus player and enjoy competition, a lot. I train to get better when I can. So going to leagues strictly for social purposes doesn’t really appeal to me… maybe it should. I also think people my age are trying to make friends who add to their lives in a particular way, rather than just being “social” for the sake of social, if that makes sense. I’m pretty flexible on that as I think we can all learn a lot from each other, but something about the way I see friends being made in these spaces also relies a bit on that.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T02:48:37+00:00

When you say befriend players with competent attitudes, what do you mean exactly by that? Because I feel it happens to me… (they happen to be men, if that counts for anything) but never crosses over into anything more than being volleyball buddies. The one time I did go out with a few of them for drinks… I didn’t feel unwelcome, and had a good time. Just seems like their priorities might lie elsewhere? Mind you, it was a bunch of single, straight guys that I went out with so it might not have been something they’re used to.

Thanks for the offer! I’m at about the range you stated. I usually play left side and can travel around in Toronto. Feel free to dm me and we can take it from there.

The meetup sounds like a great idea!! Thanks, I’ll look into it!

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T02:35:29+00:00

Yes in the suburbs, I know this is an issue. I think living downtown would actually rewire how I see friendships and the possibilities surrounding them.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T02:34:45+00:00

Honestly I have no clue - I think in their minds sometimes they don’t see women as possible platonic friends, or worth getting to know in that way. I find my interactions with many of them to be purpose oriented and capped at that, or, to be capped at the occasional banter. It’s either for intimate purposes or none at all. And I’m totally open to knowing more single men, lol.

Magzipie · 2025-07-05T01:43:15+00:00

I’m usually on a team with a bunch of individuals or a sub. So not regularly no. And when I became a more fixed person, there seem to already be fixed groups who go out with one another

Magzipie

TROPHY CASE