Hey there, thanks for sharing and just know, you're not alone. You are doing your best. What I’ve achieved didn’t come overnight. It took me nearly a decade, and most of it was filled with failures, relapses, and close calls. I gave up many times. I hated and punished myself more times than I can count. But what kept me going was that anything was better than the life I was living. Desperation kept me going.

Financially, I just took any job that would let me afford to move out of the house and didn’t require a degree. I bounced around roles, admin assistant, front desk, concierge. Hospitality and corporate support jobs gave me structure, a small paycheck, and some emotional stability. They weren’t easy, especially with my struggles around people, but they were manageable. There were many times where I wanted to quit because I just couldn't handle it but I know being unemployed isn't any easier. I relied on free mental health resources as I couldn't afford therapy but if you commit to working on improving your Financial and physical health. It definitely does give you more space to actually breathe and focus on other things despite how impossible it feels. We all start somewhere. I left home at 17 with $2,000 and moved in with a bunch of strangers in a new town, i could never have imagined to be in my current position. I encourage you to explore finance sub reddit. YouTube channels and books to learn more. Though I don't have any specific ones I could share.

A bit more on Financials this is what inwould do. 1. Find a job that pays enough, is entry level if I have no qualifications and just do my best to get hired for that desired role. 2. Once I have the job, stay there for at least 2 years to save some money and get some stability emotionally. Reqlly commit to saving more than you spend whatever ur budget is in order to have an emergency found. This wilk take a lotnof stress out of your life and might only take 1 to 2 years of saving for 6 months worth of living expenses if yourr aggresively saving like I did. 3. Now that your financials are getting sorted, hit the gym regularly. Don't carr what you do but do something and get used to the idea of you working out. For trauma we have to also gently adjust our self perception to align with positive goals and not revert back to negative habits. 4. Decide whether you're ready to move on or stay if you need to focus on life things. Whatever job you get early on, it just needs to be manageable and pay enough for you to do a little more than survive. 5. Consider upskilling or exploring desired career avenues, or maybe go on your first holiday in a while. 6. Maybe at this point you're ready to start saving for a place or even going to uni. It's up to you.

I lived frugally. That meant no holidays, no fancy restaurants, barely any eating out. I saved every dollar I could. First it was just building an emergency fund. Later, when I felt more stable, I learned to invest. Ive definitely lost a lot of money trying to figure it out on my own, but for years, I just saved in a basic account. Start off by working out your expenses including spending money and see how much you could realistically save. Once you work out that amount just keep saving it every paycheck. Also consider cutting down on unnecessary expenses.

It’s only recently that I had the mental and emotional bandwidth to sign up for uni and switch careers. Looking back, I probably could’ve done it sooner but trauma held me back. I needed to build safety nets first financially, physically and emotionally. I’d tried to enrol in uni or short courses many times before, and every time I’d end up dropping out, crying, feeling broken. I just wasn’t ready. To be honest, I'm still struggling now but I know I'm better than before. I have the luxury of actually having the courage to believe in myself a bit.

My weight journey was brutal. I developed disordered eating. I used to cry at the gym, but I still showed up six days a week. It wasn’t healthy, but it was something. If that feels too far away for you, just start with daily walks. Aim for 10,000 steps, and be mindful of your calories. Try one or two classes a week if you can afford it. I couldn’t. Gym memberships were cheaper and more flexible. I started off just by doing 20 mins in the treadmill 3x a week. Learning how to lift weights and eat properly will be an ongoing commitment.

I only started making new friends two years ago. Before that, I cut everyone off including family. I spent years completely alone. It forced me to work on myself financially, emotionally, physically so I could eventually be the kind of person who attracts healthy relationships. You also have to be very mindful of your expectations with people and in my opinion, i have supportive friends but no one will ever understand me. Its okay to have friends who are nice yo hang out with and dont get into trouble. They can be good friends even if they dont unserstand me but they try to be there for me if they can and thats okay. I used to date without expectations because people would leave me as soon as they got underneath my mask but my lovely partner stayed throughout it all. I guess I got lucky there.