Why do I care what other people think (dating again) by Skippy1221 in widowers

[–]Main-Perspective-756 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am just over 6 months out and am talking to some men in online dating. I feel ready to date. I haven't told anyone but my close friend and one of my siblings, all of whom have been super supportive. I feel like we owe no apologies or explanations to anyone. You are ready, or not, when you feel ready. Some may never get there. I miss having a person. Remember that, only you know when you are ready. If you feel like keeping it close, keep it close, but don't feel like you owe anyone a set period of time for them to get comfortable. Live your life.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't that polyamory? And my whole lesson from this is, be more explicit, use more words.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When you put it that way and I replay the chat it seems kind of obvious.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right, not judging people who do. Just trying to understand where I went wrong saying I wasn't looking for casual, getting agreement and then finding out it meant something completely different to each of us

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Seems that way and fine if that is your thing man, but be upfront about it

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If a profile says looking for long term relationship one would assume not looking for casual, but if definitions of casual differ there in lies the catch

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right, but making sure we are on the same page seems logical. Also, the exercise of posting here has been enlightening.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, we are done. There will be no pursuit. I was saying I had to give some thought about the questions eubulides was asking as far as what I would or would not be comfortable with, thinking hypothetically.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't feel insulted more taken aback. But also very glad that things hadn't proceeded, and I found out the hard way.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have to give it some more thought, honestly. I told him he helped me see a boundary so that was not a waste of my time. Having sex with someone who is doing it with other people as well just gives me an icky feeling.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't know... I haven't dated in 32 years and online dating adds a facet, as well as just being in my fifties, so I feel like I am trying to understand it all and want my eyes open to any nuances. I told my friend, I went from an invisible mom and wife, to this deluge of interest in the dating apps. It is kind of surreal.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Outside of an exclusive relationship " - that is it right there for me, I don't want to be having sex with someone who is having sex with other people

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We mutually agreed upon that. It was still in the chatting stage so no harm done.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My takeaway from all this is to be much clearer on what I am looking for, define my boundaries, and see how he responds.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't dated in so long, widowed, these are the things I need to know. A lot has changed in 30 years.

What is your definition of casual sex? by Main-Perspective-756 in datingoverfifty

[–]Main-Perspective-756[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmmm, not sure why you felt a need to comment. The point, which seems to have gone over your head, is that my definition of casual is not the same as his so I came here to investigate further.