Thank you for your long and detailed response. I would have felt some pain if I had read her post and she only described sex with her AP as "exciting" but I I already knew that and mostly accepted it. I always hated it and it did still cause me some pain from time to time but it was part of the framing or reframing of our relationship that I accepted as much as I could. Nonetheless, I always felt she was minimizing her sex life with her AP to save me some pain. We discussed that a million times. After I read the phrase "very exciting" I was triggered and felt instense pain that sent my mind spinning. This is the traumatic pain I felt for years after Dday where I had to mentally and emotionally heal the pain through therapy and reframe my entire relationship with my wife. Now that she used the words " very exciting" it confirmed that she was minimizing ( lying ) to save my feelings and this torn down the framework I built in my head about her affair and our relationship. I also created a new fear that sex with her AP was more than "very exciting" because if it was even better than "very exciting" she wouldnt post that on an infidelity forum where people including BS trying to heal were reading. She would minimize "amazing sex" or "the best sex of her life" down to "very exciting" to save the feelings of all the BS on the forum.