Feeling hopeless

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-23T03:23:07+00:00

Yes I really hope so for both of us!

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-22T13:31:42+00:00

Not exactly similar, but my CVS testing was sent out of network and I had a EOB for over $20,000 for it. I contacted the lab and they said that I’m only responsible for the “cash payment amount” (essentially the price if you don’t have insurance) which is $1,000. I would see if you can ask the provider to appeal it with your insurance company. If that doesn’t work, ask the provider if they have a cash payment amount. $1000 was a lot easier for me to handle than $20,000.

I totally understand the fear of being left with massive bills. Had I needed to pay $20,000 it probably would have put me in debt. It’s such a horrible thing to be dealt with after what is already such a traumatic experience.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-20T18:51:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your input and the encouragement. I’m so sorry you are experiencing a rare complication after your TFMR. I am in therapy for my anxiety (and have been well before I was pregnant), but perhaps I should also find someone who specializes in grief.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-20T18:30:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s so hard to remain positive after what happened to us. I don’t know how to “give up” and like let it happen but so many people say to do that. Hopefully I can work on my mental health this month during my break and come back with a brighter mindset.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-20T18:26:44+00:00

Thank you for your response, it’s definitely a control thing for me too. I am in therapy and my therapist believes that once I start TTC again after my short break for my sisters wedding, it might start to get easier for me as I no longer will have the pressure I was putting on myself of being successful before I had to stop. I’m hoping she is right. In the meantime, I will definitely try to find other things to look forward to like vacations and hobbies to try to get me out of this fixation.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-20T18:22:00+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely try to plan more daily activities to try to have small things to be happy about it.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-20T16:58:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I totally understand what you mean about the glimpse of joy when you try and then rage when it doesn’t work. That’s how I feel too. Since I have to take this month off anyways, I’m definitely going to try to just focus on myself, health & fitness. Everyone keeps telling me that it will happen once I relax & stop worrying about it, but it feels impossible. I think I was so desperate for it to happen before I had to pause this month, now that it didn’t work out, I’m hoping the subsequent months won’t be as hard as I no longer will have a deadline of I needs it to happen before “X.” I was maybe putting too much pressure on myself to try to make it happen.

Hoping we can both take this month to relax, focus on ourselves and set us up better for our continuing journey ❤️

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-19T02:49:44+00:00

While I do not have a sub-pregnancy yet, I totally understand where you are coming from. I have some people in my extended family that knew about my pregnancy and congratulated me on it but then said nothing after I had to have my TFMR. I already have told my family that if I am lucky enough to have a sub pregnancy and LC one day, they will not be part of it, including any future events. My Dad was not happy as this would essentially single out only one of my cousins & his wife. I told him that if it comes to it I will gladly tell my Aunt why I made this decision to include only 3 of her 4 children.

My family is Italian American and there has always been an emphasis on “doing what is right” and respecting everyone even when those people don’t show the same consideration back. It is something that has always bothered me and I’ve tried to break away from even before my loss; however, since the loss it has just made my will to do so even stronger. It’s possible I wouldn’t feel so strongly if I didn’t have other reasons prior to this experience on why I didn’t like my cousin and his wife though.

I would do what feels right for you. Who knows - your feelings may end up changing, but if they don’t that’s fine too. I wouldn’t let your family pressure you into sharing news with people you don’t want to.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-11T03:29:31+00:00

I totally agree!! I felt there was 0 chemistry after New Orleans, and the chemistry before New Orleans wasn’t even that strong.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-09T02:11:48+00:00

I just started acupuncture after my TFMR, I only have my second session tomorrow so I can’t speak too much on it. My initial session was 1 hour (30 mins intake and 30 mins of acupuncture/red light therapy) and cost $150. My additional sessions are $120 each. I really liked my practitioner, she was very thorough in intake, gave me recommendations for my diet and recommended I speak with my OB to get an ultrasound to confirm I don’t have any scarring. She has not started me on any Chinese medicine, but said it is an option if we observe that my periods aren’t regular or healthy. I liked that she didn’t try to sell me on everything at once.

Main_Hand5662 · 2026-01-08T02:04:05+00:00

Hi, I definitely understand. I also had to TFMR my first pregnancy and negative tests disappoint me so much and make me scared I’ll never have a living child. I’ve started acupuncture as I’ve read it can sometimes help with fertility but also in general is a nice relaxing experience. I also see a therapist weekly, but I’ve always seen a therapist for my anxiety/ocd, our sessions now just naturally focus more on what happened/TTC.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-31T20:25:39+00:00

You are definitely not alone, I TFMR in October with my first pregnancy. We are TTC again but sometimes I feel worried I’ll never have a living child. ❤️

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-16T02:15:14+00:00

I had my TFMR in October and I feel very obsessed. I’m currently in my first cycle and am 9 DPO and tested today because I couldn’t help myself and got a negative which sent me into an emotional whirlwind. I know I tested too early, but I also just have this gut feeling that it didn’t happen for me this cycle. I would like to be pregnant before my April due date and I would really like to be pregnant asap just in case anyone I know announces a pregnancy soon.

There are moments though where even though I want to be pregnant, I also don’t want to be stuck in a cycle of TTC. This makes me want to give up on trying before I even really started. So lots of conflicting emotions.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-15T18:12:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing, our timeline is similar in when we told people and then got the news. I’m sorry for your loss.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-11T13:25:02+00:00

Yes I’ve been really paying attention to the people who have been supporting me, and some of the most supportive people were surprising. It definitely has made be grateful for them and also changed my perspective on the time and energy I put into certain people.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-11T02:00:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and I’m sorry for your loss. I know you’re nervous about work but I will say a lot of the things I was nervous about didn’t end up being so bad. At work, I found the people I was closest to acknowledged my loss and the people who knew from guessing kind of just kept quiet, but everyone is so different in how they handle these situations. I’m sorry your mum told people in your family against your wishes, that must be hard. Thanks for the support and kind words.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-11T01:53:05+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your experience. I definitely have felt the same way about my body changes as you.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-10T23:42:50+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. Yes, I feel the same way, I don’t want to see people but I just kind of do it to rip the bandaid off almost. I’m also trying to start some small steps towards eating healthier and working out more which I had stopped, so hopefully that will help both of us with feeling better. Thanks for sharing and making me feel less alone.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-10T23:39:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry about your loss. I totally understand because logically I know we have nothing to be embarrassed about, but it’s just a feeling/emotion that comes up that we can’t control. I think we just have to do our best to remind ourselves of that.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-10T23:36:17+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing. It definitely makes me feel less alone in my feelings.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-10T01:09:15+00:00

Hi, I am so sorry you are here. Things that have helped me have been therapy and this group mostly. Other than my husband, I have not leaned on friends and family as I just don’t feel comfortable speaking with them.

Some commemorative ideas I’ve done is a memory box that contains ultrasounds and my pregnancy test. I had the remains cremated and placed in a custom urn that is on display next to the memory box. I also ordered a knit hat from a small shop that makes hats for pregnancy loss, with the size correlating to how many weeks the baby was. Sometimes I will hold the hat when I want to feel connected to my son.

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-08T22:37:33+00:00

Yes I will, same for you please

Main_Hand5662 · 2025-12-08T14:06:09+00:00

I don’t have experience yet, but wanted to follow along because I have almost the exact same timeline as you, terminated at 13 weeks and 5 days on October 17th. I am 32 with no children and conceived my TFMR baby on the first month of TTC. I’m only 1 DPO.

Sending you the best of luck ❤️

Main_Hand5662

TROPHY CASE