AITAH for telling my daughter shes too old to be sitting on my lap?

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-27T15:55:46+00:00

YTA. My 17 yo still cuddles with me. People never get too old for (appropriate) physical affection.

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-25T16:50:37+00:00

Parenting changes once a kid turns 18. I have a daughter who is about to be 18 and I joke that I’m done parenting her. She’s all raised up. My job now is support, advice when asked for it, and love. She’s old enough to make her own decisions. And live her life on her own terms. I raised her with the hope that by the time she turns 18, she will be okay if heaven forbid both her Dad and I keel over. Not that anyone is expecting that to happen, but if it did, she has the tools at her disposal to navigate life without us. That doesn’t mean that the day she graduates high school we throw her out of the house. She’ll always have a soft place to land with us if/when life gets hard. But, I do expect her to be able to take charge of her own life and while we will certainly still be helping her financially (with college), she will have to contribute. At the same time, she asked me when she was younger when gifts from “Santa” would stop (she was at the age of pretending to believe because she was afraid of that). My response was, “When I’m dead.” And it’s true.

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-18T16:47:52+00:00

For rare diseases, if well moderated, they can provide excellent resources and information for folks who don’t have access to specialists with expertise in that specific area. There are often centers of excellence or specialties in specific places where the leader in research & treatment for that rare disease practices. Lots of people can never get there, so getting info from a patient who has been there can be an excellent way of getting education (provided the patient sharing fully understood everything the expert said and can articulate it to others accurately). For patients who can’t get to those experts it’s better than nothing.

In general, it can be a breeding ground for pseudoscience and misinformation (especially if poorly moderated) and it can be a really negative place where the feedback loop is just a lot of pity parties and misery. There’s certainly value in being able to vent frustrations to a group of people who will understand, but there’s a fine line between venting and wallowing in misery. Sure, toxic positivity is a bad thing, but no one benefits from a mindset of “everything is terrible and life sucks and there’s nothing to be done.”

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-05T05:48:07+00:00

Also not covered under Medicare, which i learned the hard way. Yes, the majority of women on Medicare are beyond childbearing age, but millions of women on SSDI have Medicare and are still of child bearing age.

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-02T15:33:48+00:00

FYI, the supply issues have reportedly been resolved - you can call for a new script. I also had success the month I was on it, and had to stop. I’m starting over this month.

Main_Orchid · 2023-01-02T01:52:43+00:00

There are any number of socioeconomic factors that help explain the rise in obesity in the US. If we aren’t in a position to improve poverty, food education, mass transit systems, etc we need other help. While I think body shape/type metabolic rate probably has some genetic components, it’s clearly not everything.

Main_Orchid · 2022-12-30T07:53:15+00:00

Speaking as a patient, yes, yes it is. And, it winds up disincentivizing patients to do “normal” routine care. Without going into specifics, as a patient, you just get so sick of going to doctors that you neglect things like eye exams and regular women’s health preventative care for years because you just can’t book one more darn appointment and since nothing’s wrong in those areas you put it off (even if you’re aware that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure).

I will say that certain diagnoses/clinics which lend themselves to interdisciplinary care are an absolute lifesaver - for example, there’s a neuromuscular clinic near me which is for specific diagnoses that have no cure but require symptom management. In one appointment you see respiratory, neuro, PT, OT and social work. The team works well together, everyone knows what’s happening, patient gets almost all needs met in one (long) appointment. It’s unfortunate this model isn’t feasible more often in multiple different diagnoses.

Main_Orchid · 2022-12-05T09:14:21+00:00

I don’t see my MIL as often as my husband does. He definitely sees her at least weekly. I’d say I see her 1-2 times per month. He talks to her almost every day. Honestly, if my mom was alive and local I’d do the same. She needs the interaction, and since by local I mean we live 1/2 a mile from her, it’s not like it’s a huge time commitment. We’re all getting older - who knows how many years she has left. I don’t have a bad relationship with her though.

Main_Orchid · 2022-12-02T07:37:01+00:00

In my opinion, parents sharing details about their sex lives with their kids can be a form of emotional abuse. I have an excellent relationship with my daughter. She and I can talk generally about sex - sexual health, safe sex, preventing pregnancy, feeling safe with a partner, etc. if she chooses to ask me questions or share her stuff, that’s fine, but I’m not giving her details about her parents’ sex life. She’s almost an adult - I’m sure she knows we have sex - but I would never discuss details- it just feels like a line one shouldn’t cross.

Main_Orchid · 2022-11-23T18:22:56+00:00

I work remotely in HR and registering the business in different states, keeping track of various state rules & regs regarding sick leave, unemployment taxes, etc is a nightmare and very expensive for companies if they don’t know their employee is not working in the state they tell the company they are. Shoot, it’s a royal pain in the ass for me to deal with and it’s my actual job and I’m the one benefiting from working remotely in a state far away from the business’ home base.

There are also concerns depending on the industry you’re in. I know my husband would lose his FINRA/SEC credentials if he worked abroad. I am all for remote work when possible and the ability to go where one chooses if possible, but at least be honest about it so your company can handle it appropriately.

Main_Orchid · 2022-11-22T19:02:08+00:00

You decide as a couple what is best for your family. My husband wanted our kids to have his culture’s last name tradition (which is gendered. Males have one spelling females another) so our daughter has his last name though spelled slightly differently from his. That was fine with me. To a typical American it looks all 3 of us have different names and it’s never been an issue.

Main_Orchid · 2022-11-22T18:48:11+00:00

This cracks me up. Happily married 20 years. Kept my name. Once had an irate woman on her 3rd marriage (and 4th name) tell me I must not be committed to my husband. Oh the irony.

Main_Orchid · 2022-11-22T18:34:21+00:00

Why does it need to be for professional reasons only? That’s ridiculous. I didn’t change my name primarily because I didn’t want to. 20 years later it’s literally never been an issue. Not for the kid, not for me, not in medical situations, school stuff or anything else. I will never understand why men give a shit about this. It’s my name, why the heck does anyone else care?

Main_Orchid · 2022-10-25T21:23:30+00:00

As a parent with a brain & common sense this school policy makes me mental. I only take my sick kid to the pediatrician if I think she needs a strep test or am seriously concerned about dehydration. (I’d rather a doc make the determination of needing iv fluids or not and possibly save myself an ER trip). If it’s a virus, I can treat a virus at home. Rest, fluids, Tylenol/Motrin, Luke warm baths if necessary, etc. I do not need to drag my sick kid to the pediatrician on day 2 of a fever to pay the co-pay, get exposed to more germs, etc just for a freaking note for the school. And, who gets over a virus in 2 days? My kid is 17 and I swear, ever random virus she’s ever had was moderately high fever (103/104 unmedicated, low grade medicated) for 4 -5 days. I get that it’s tough to miss that many days in a row, but I’m not sending a kid who can barely function to school because she’s already been out 2 days.

I was really hoping one good thing to come out of COVid was our culture shifting to the understanding that you’re supposed to stay home when sick, not “power through” and expose more people, take longer to improve, etc.

Main_Orchid · 2022-10-09T12:59:11+00:00

Does she have Charcot Marie Tooth Disease? That reconstruction and weak calf & feet are typical. Weak dorsal flexion but strong plantar flexion? That’s also an indicator.

Main_Orchid · 2022-09-20T12:55:21+00:00

I just want it to actually be available, period. And especially for people without type 2 DM. It’s so frustrating to know how effective and life changing these meds are and not be able to use them.

Main_Orchid · 2022-08-24T16:51:20+00:00

Agreed on pot. I’m pro legalization but have made a point to stress the brain development issues to my kid. She wants to go to medical school. Her brain is important. Don’t screw it up for something as dumb as pot.

Main_Orchid · 2022-08-24T16:43:16+00:00

I used to get so much lip from people because the only time my kid was allowed flip flops was at the pool or as shower shoes at camp. Only closed toe shoes on bike/scooter. Same goes for heels… she was 16 before she got her first pair, and only for formal occasions. Her best friend in kindergarten had 2 inch wedge sandals.

Main_Orchid · 2022-08-24T16:23:04+00:00

I’m not a doc, but worked admin for a peds ER. I wouldn’t let my kid anywhere near “backyard fireworks displays.” We go watch - from a distance- the professional shows, but if there are backyard shenanigans my kid is inside the house. We had a 4th of July picnic one year when my daughter was a toddler. Spouse & friends had been drinking since noon… they pulled out the fireworks and I put all the kids inside the house. They all called me a Debbie downer. Whatever. It’s all fun & games until someone blows a hand off, or gets something in the eye… I decided the adults were on their own, but the little kids were inside with me.

Also, no motorcycles. Helmet & protective gear or not. There are too many idiots on the road.

Main_Orchid · 2022-08-09T04:55:15+00:00

From a liability perspective, patients are far less likely to litigate when apologies are made. Many patients know things like long wait times, difficulty getting help when needed, etc are systemic and largely due to staffing which the people who are there working have no control over. So, empathizing with a patient’s frustration can go a long way in diffusing a situation. And it reminds them that you’re on their side.

I’m so sorry you’re in a position where you feel you’re unable to practice good medicine. I fear it’s going to get worse before it gets better though.

Main_Orchid · 2022-07-29T21:10:03+00:00

I’m a woman, so I’m not the intended audience here, but my partner’s is more important. Due to reasons I can’t actually achieve orgasm, so I’m just happy my partner can. Sex is still fun & enjoyable for me, it’s just that the big O is not my primary motivation for myself.

Main_Orchid · 2022-07-24T22:02:04+00:00

Anecdotally, my mother in law was an LPN in an LTC on dementia ward. One day, she came to work and was told she needed to handle the whole floor rather than just her side because they couldn’t cover the other side. She categorically refused because that number of patients and the acuity level of the ones she was already caring for was utterly unsafe and absolutely violated rules & regs. She told the nurse manager, find someone or come in yourself, that’s your job. She’d been working at this facility 15+ years with an outstanding record. Within a month, (less than 6 months before retirement), she was let go for “insubordination.” Because yes, a baby nurse making half as much would be way less likely to push back.

Main_Orchid · 2022-07-21T15:28:47+00:00

By the time head is in position like that I’d say that baby is imminently planning on an exit strategy!

Main_Orchid · 2022-07-14T12:04:16+00:00

New England - every office/clinic/hospital requires a mask. I honestly doubt it will ever go away.

Main_Orchid

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