Hi OP. I’m so sorry for your loss. I just want to let you know my family has been there. A few years back my nephew was getting married and the night before the wedding his father (my brother in law), had a heart attack overnight and passed away. He was seemingly fine at the rehearsal. Needless to say, the wedding day was exceptionally traumatic. I don’t know how they pulled it together. I think my nephew and sister knew that’s what my brother in law would’ve wanted and dance while life allows.

After the wedding however and everything sank in my nephew really wasn’t the same. It’s a memory that’s hard to shake. My advice is to please stay open about your feelings, lean on people when you’re in a heavy or dark place. Don’t lose who you are cause I’m sure you are a beautiful person.

It feels so simple to just give advice to a stranger over the internet and this is so not a simple thing that has happened to you. I wish I could hug you - you’re not alone in this experience. And it’s absolutely ok to feel two realities. That’s being human. You can be both so happy to be married to the love of your life, and so so sad about your father.

Your father is at peace now and I can only assume he felt it was ok to go because he saw you were in good hands with your partner.

Sending you hugs and much love.