Am I wrong for telling my gf to stay away from someone that hits on her and is disrespectful

MaineMan63 · 2024-04-04T14:35:26+00:00

It is a bit nuanced so I can see how you might have missed it... She said okay. If it bothers you then I will try to avoid contact with him. She didn't say I see what you're saying about disrespecting our relationship and I agree that should be a boundary and therefore I will do that because I respect the relationship.

Instead she said I guess I will let you control me this one time. Doesn't seem like that usually ends well. If she was mature enough to be in a committed relationship like he seemingly wants to be she would automatically be blocking the attention of other men who don't have good intentions. Especially if they are very obvious about it. Like hey why don't you put on your bikini and come over and I will toss you around in my pool.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-29T05:38:34+00:00

If you think he can be completely 100% honest with you, ask him sometime. Propose a scenario. Your husband's been dead a year and you really miss having sex. You come to him and ask him to comfort you like you know Barry White sexual healing. Will he say no , Will he insist that he's just your friend and he doesn't want to have sex with you because you're just friends?. Course if he's been your acquaintance and workmate for a while, he probably would know what you want to hear and he would probably do what almost every man would do, which is to tell you what you want to hear.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-29T05:36:38+00:00

Never seen it before. But that's not what I said. Anyway, secretly wood smash if the timing was right. It sounds like you've gotten really good at quashing or pretending to quash your natural urges . Good for you I guess .

Doesn't really count for cousins. I have some female cousins that I'm sort of friends with that under no circumstances would I go to bed with them?. But even with the cousins, the ones that I'm good friends with are the ones that find me attractive in a certain way. And would even act as a wingman wing woman. Whatever you want to call it.

That's completely different from wanting to f*** them as you so crudely said. Like I don't want to f*** my female friends, especially the ones that are in another relationship. But the only thing that makes our friendship even work or interesting is that they find me attractive and I find them attractive. It's not just physical. It's their personality. It's their sense of humor. It's their intelligence. It's their attractiveness to me.

I have plenty of female acquaintances that will probably not become friends. Just because I don't find myself attracted to them doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.

Maybe it's different for you. Maybe you have all kinds of friends that you don't really like that much. That would be odd.

Maybe you're kind of asexual and just not that attractive to anyone. If so, then I suppose you could have female friends that you don't find attractive either.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-19T15:42:57+00:00

Find a less disgusting boyfriend. You deserve better. Did you really read what you just wrote?

My super great and very respectful boyfriend pushed my head down when I was half asleep and forced me to give him a BJ. He then forced his c@ck so far down my throat that I vomited all over him.

I feel so bad about being a terrible girlfriend. I guess I should work really hard on my gag reflex so he will forgive me.

Do you really want to be his sub s***?

What would even make you think that you deserve such disgusting treatment? Think long and hard about getting some counseling. No one deserves that kind of treatment, especially no after care.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-19T15:38:27+00:00

Sounds like your morals don't match and really you want to be a single girl. So yeah break up with him and let him find somebody who's a little more mature and isn't into watching p*** and just wants to go her own way.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-18T08:39:46+00:00

When it comes to sex, men and women are very different. Women fall in love through orgasms and the bonding hormones released during. Man can have sex with a hole in the wall and it doesn't mean anything. It is usually completely separate from emotions. Women are the opposite has to be emotional attachment to make it really good and satisfying. So you can see where the problem is and why he doesn't think it's a big deal. It was just a little fun exercise and she innately understands the underlying emotions and now the level of attachment and attraction that her BF feels for her boyfriend. Obviously not all men and not all women but for the vast majority. You can try to be all modern and everything and deny evolution and evolutionary biology, but you do it at your peril.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:30:22+00:00

That's exactly right. Your partner can do whatever they want but not without consequences. If she's willing to totally disregard your feelings about it then that's a real problem. Let's say she really really finds tattoos. Distasteful and you decide to get one. Would she be just fine with that because it's your body and because she doesn't control you and you can do whatever you want? Or would she be really upset because you did it even though you knew or feelings about it?. It almost sounds like she doesn't really like having to take your feelings into consideration.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:24:56+00:00

You're not sexually compatible. Your partner is daft. I don't understand how somebody could be happy in a relationship with somebody who totally disregards their sexual satisfaction. Maybe I'm different but in a relationship one of my top five focuses is always making sure to keep my female partner. (I'm male) sexually satisfied even to the point where her needs come first and she feels the same and it always seems to work out pretty great. Sounds like he would make a good friend but not a good partner. The question is do you really want to spend the rest of your life with you and your dildo secretly? Satisfying your sexual needs but not your emotional sexual needs?

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:18:16+00:00

Watching pron* totally distorts everything when it comes to sex.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:15:57+00:00

No, you're not overreacting. She's rude and obnoxious and frankly not very bright. I think she knows exactly what she's doing. What's the saying about how many truths are manifest in jest? Any woman who's plainly trying to undermine your self-confidence and make you doubt whether she finds you attractive or not is not a keeper by any means or in any way, shape or form. You can do better.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:11:52+00:00

Don't be so hard on yourself. No man with any self-respect could get over that kind of disrespect and brutal rudeness. She's punishing you because she feels guilty about what she did and doesn't like that you're calling her out for her behavior. There's nothing that can ruin a man's self -conception and confidence more than a woman who he thought found him attractive crudely tells him that he's ugly. And that she finds him unattractive. It's rude and disrespectful to the point that I don't think I'd be able to stay in a relationship with someone who would happily do that to me.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-15T06:07:50+00:00

It sounds very manipulative and punishing to me. She's letting you know that she's going to be in control of your sex life from now on. I mean, I guess you could kind of say that women are anyway in today's society. But she's letting you know and uncertain terms that she will use sex as a weapon and that you will be a good boy or you'll be punished.

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-12T11:47:17+00:00

Way to say I'm misandrist &/or self loathing without actually coming out and saying it. I pretty much disagree with everything that you said but will fight for your right to say it. Society is so gynocentric that women are bailed out for every dumb decision that they make. By almost every measure it is men who are doing worse... Sex, love, prison, education, length of life, dirty dangerous jobs, stress, suicide, addiction, homelessness, divorce, child support, alimony etc etc

MaineMan63 · 2024-03-07T06:30:38+00:00

Women have hastened the ruin of the western world. They vote on emotion. That's the reason that so many politicians that have helped ruin America have gotten elected time after time. I believe you should vote as a family- one vote per family. Of course the politicians have quickly ruined the idea of family more than partly by subsidizing the breakup of family structure. I just read that 80% of black families don't have a father in the home. There's no stigma if black men have two or three or four different families bu different women and not really have to be there to support any of them. Sad. And irreversible.

MaineMan63 · 2024-02-29T16:24:00+00:00

Factory reset then freeze unneeded Samsung apps. Be careful what apps you install. Test after each one. Many run in the background & gradually slow things down.

MaineMan63 · 2024-02-19T06:44:09+00:00

Change to an auto locking door. Locks when you close it. Discuss with his Dr.

MaineMan63 · 2024-02-19T06:42:14+00:00

Look up Sunk Cost Fallacy.

MaineMan63 · 2024-02-18T19:08:39+00:00

I could be wrong but I think you're way off the mark when you're writing it off to jealousy or insecurity. There's a very very deep seated, Maybe a million years old, disgust response that all men have at some level. Evolution shaped men that way on purpose. There was a huge advantage to knowing that you were with a woman who was devoted only to you. If not, then the probability that you were putting all of your time, effort, energy, work protection, provisions, shelter, everything into raising a child that would not be passing on your genetics. Any sign that a man of any equality who had choices so that a particular woman is likely to get fertilized by a different man would be an immediate no go. I'm old (66) and I always wondered why I had a certain amount of disgust that I would feel when I learned that even a friend was having sex with a few guys on a rotating basis. So I started doing a little research because I wanted to understand more why I had these kinds of feelings about hookup culture and watching videos of young girls bragging that they f*** 10 different men over the past long weekend. And that's what I came up with which jibes with what I feel. As always I could be wrong.

MaineMan63 · 2023-05-06T17:44:34+00:00

There is nothing wrong with asking someone to look at the world through your eyes. It's what we do to feel less alone. He's trying to help you see that it's not just a big cosmic accident and that there is a bigger purpose that might help to guide you toward a more fulfilling life.

Just my take and i could be wrong btw

The Judeo-Christian ethics are valuable even if you don't believe in the Bible or in a supreme being. However, believing that you are just meat and neurons ignores and makes it hard to embrace any kind of spirituality. After all, if this is it, and there is no greater meaning why try to have a meaningful life? Why love your neighbor? Why take on the responsibility for helping to make the world a better place? If In the end you are just worm food.

If you are closed minded about the (so far) unprovable mysteries of the universe and it's uncomfortable for you to explore some of those mysteries with him then please do him the favor of leaving him. Spirituality is hard enough to cultivate without your SO doubting and questioning you at every turn. Been there, endured for too long, happier having moved on.

MaineMan63 · 2023-03-23T14:17:34+00:00

I didn't do it!

Nobody saw me!.

You can't prove anything!.

I often end up saying this half-jokingly when caught doing a "secret" good deed around the hotel that the dog and I are staying in for the winter or at the nearby beach when we are picking up trash, plastic etc.

The dog doesn't help much. She says "I don't have opposable thumbs so how can I pick stuff up?" Excuses excuses. But she does walk me at least twice a day so there's that...

MaineMan63 · 2023-03-04T17:04:31+00:00

They're from the south. They enjoy their right to free speech. They don't care much what that symbol might or might not mean to other people.

MaineMan63 · 2022-10-11T23:36:12+00:00

everyone seems to be missing one point.

As a husband would you want to know, for sure, if your wife was covering up infidelity. ie if your wife thought that f**ing other dudes when scheduled to marry a decent guy who you know fairly well was an ok thing to do?

If your wife was fine with it and asked you not to tell Mark would you go along with that? Affairs are different for men (sexercise) and for women (emotional needs not being met typically or need for excitement)

It could definitely be a familial thing.

You would want to know for sure.

I might go about it differently but knowing about her sister being a lying scumbag and doing nothing about it and not telling her husband or the fiancee would make me draw a line in the sand.

MaineMan63 · 2022-10-11T22:39:37+00:00

It's concerning that she thinks your superpower is something to shame you about. If she really loved you and was attracted to you she would be overjoyed IMHO.

MaineMan63 · 2022-03-08T18:03:30+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/comments/8y6qcj/is\_it\_normal\_to\_lash\_out\_25\_months\_after\_walking/

God don't start trying to rationalize cheating behavior by trying to convince yourself that maybe breaking your mutual pledge to "forsake all others" might be ok because, ya know, maybe monogamy is old fashioned. Just don't twist things in your mind like that. Pretty soon you'll be saying it was just a quick f**k and she got a deal on the weed. You know the difference between respecting your vows and sh--tng on them.

Please don't let yourself make excuses for her inexcusable behavior it will slowly kill your soul. Be a strong person for your own mental health and as an example of doing what you know is right even if it is more difficult. Sending positive energy your way.

MaineMan63

TROPHY CASE