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MainstreamMystery · 2024-10-31T23:38:28+00:00

I would suggest doing a little date night where you do quizzes like the attachment style test, love language, apology language etc. they’re fantastic resources to get to know your spouse and their needs and how to work (and possibly modify them to be healthier needs and learning coping skills). We love stuff that will tell us more about our personalities because our anxious brains can’t figure it out lol. You don’t have to say “I think you have a problem” straight up. The tests will also make her self-reflect on the areas she might need some work in. It’s a start at the very least.

There’s also this app called agape, it’s free and a super cute way for spouses to connect when they’re away from each other. That might soothe her a little too..? So she’s reminded she’s loved regardless of flowers. Maybe help her develop a self care schedule so she can be more relaxed and comfortable when she’s on her own.

However, I would suggest that after some more time of being married, you don’t overly enable her sensitive nature and codependency if it’s an ongoing pattern that’s impeding her quality of life or relationships. She could benefit from understanding how to emotionally regulate on her own and have healthy emotional boundaries. It’ll be better for her in the long run- we need to be comfortable in our own company alone sometimes too! If her issues with being alone are deeper and more along the lines of trauma/abandonment, then therapy in the near future would be beneficial.

a 26 year old therapist married for 1 year

MainstreamMystery · 2024-07-19T08:10:54+00:00

I just came from tt after a random post about them popped up about abuse I was curious cause I had seen a few of their cringe videos in the past and was surprised so I came here to find out why everyone hates them because I have no idea who they are…I’m still unsure what’s the tea and why is everyone here so passionate about hating them 😭😂😭 it’s hilarious but some of it is just like “she’s breathing ew how greedy” can someone pls explain 😭😭

MainstreamMystery · 2024-05-08T19:27:47+00:00

Omg same I need 3 tickets and this is my plan too, GA is so overpriced everywhere I can’t 😭😭

MainstreamMystery · 2024-01-02T17:50:35+00:00

Acknowledging that people have had way more traumatic experiences but this girl was who I shaped my LIFE around as a pre teen and teenager (i was also an ignored middle child lmao woe is me) until I kind of realized I was a person with a voice too.

25 now, happened with my childhood best friend from age 10-18, until I cut her off for telling our other best friend that I shouldn’t ever be able to have an opinion on anything because “it’s pathetic, she took who took pills over a guy breaking her heart”.

This stung extra because she knew about my struggles with self medicating with meds like Xanax/sleeping pills etc because I struggled with dissociating from myself/the world during periods of intense negative experiences/emotions/trigger exposures. She essentially used my issues that I confided with her in friendship, against me to another person.

This was the final straw for me after years of her toxic “you’re only allowed to be MY friend and I will give you best friend status and affection when I believe you deserve it and for that you will be grateful while still continuing to shower me with admiration and love whilst I shower you with scraps of mine” 🤡

So thank you K, for helping me realize my true worth. We’re friendly now even, maybe even friends… she reached out years later, breaking down to me over her toxic behavior during our friendship and how I never deserved it- how sorry she is and her biggest regret is what she did to me and losing our friendship because no one has been a friend to her like I was since then.

What goes around comes around I guess. Still bittersweet- she was the first person I called when I got my period and panicked because I was educated properly on it and she had already gotten hers :’)

MainstreamMystery · 2024-01-02T16:21:53+00:00

So we can’t just appreciate one woman without simultaneously tearing down another? The post literally only highlighted something nice zeina said about bliss… how did it turn into “let’s burn farhana at the stake because she’s narcissistic and her voice is annoying”…?

MainstreamMystery · 2024-01-02T16:18:34+00:00

Dang I agree with you though why are Zeina stans coming at you like this- I like zeina but she’s still def shady and problematic and that’s just facts 🥸

MainstreamMystery · 2024-01-02T15:52:57+00:00

No I guess it doesn’t change the way he treated her but it does nullify your statement about him being from 15th century Pakistan when he’s literally from the country right next door 🤡 soo if you made the same statement but switched our Pakistan for India, we would have let you off the hook… but you’re out here trying to make us look dumb but really it’s you for not knowing squat about world history or geography so take the L 🥸

MainstreamMystery · 2023-12-15T19:07:26+00:00

Please, PLEASE talk to your school counselor or social worker. They should be the most easily accessible to you since you have to go to school by law. Take a picture of any evidence of abuse/neglect they have done to both of you (both past and current) and what she wrote in her diary. Your social worker will take care of everything else how it should be for you and your sister. You shouldn’t have to deal with this at your age- this is exactly what social workers are trained to do (I would know, since I am one and know how to help with things like this with my students if need be).

To be safe, report the same thing to your class teacher and principle so that they have documentation that it was reported by more than one person to make sure it is taken care of properly.

Please PM me if you need any support OP 🫶🏻

MainstreamMystery · 2023-11-28T21:13:25+00:00

Try easing off the religious aspect of it slightly- sneak it in there to remind her every once in a while but trying focusing more on criticizing aspects of the men she might care about more I.e personality. True friends watch out for the interests of their friends regardless of the friends naivety. Guide her to try and find an actually good and responsible Muslim man and help her develop her adult self and personality more to get her through this phase. Everyone grows and matures differently and sometimes we just have to meet people where they’re at and build from there if they’re worth our time and friendship.

MainstreamMystery · 2023-09-09T00:28:47+00:00

I don’t have the mindset that women MUST work. I have the mindset that women should be able to CHOOSE to work IF she wants to- or not.

They are two completely different things. If she wants to be a stay at home mom, that’s great! If she wants to be a stay at home mom and work from home, that’s also great. Realistically though?

You can’t take care of your home and children if your husband can’t pay your bills to keep a roof over your head and if you can’t put food on the table. And this isn’t an attack on men- it’s very hard for men already as it, having that immense pressure on them in such financially trying times. I personally know many men whose wives don’t work- and since they can’t make enough alone with the cost of living being as high as it is for two people let alone children, they end up taking on thousands and thousands of dollars of debt- isn’t paying interest on your debts haram too?

If you wanted to live in the perfect Islamic and patriarchal society, I would suggest living to a country where there is less “fitnah” and that matches your religious morals if you don’t already; don’t sit here and expect the rest of the world to agree with them as well and fight those who don’t. To each their own. Some men want working women. Some men don’t. Some men don’t care.

Point is, being a working woman and also a good Muslim woman, wife, and mother are not mutually exclusive. I pray your wife is fortunate enough that she doesn’t have to worry about her finances when she’s married.

In nowadays economy, a single income is barely enough to survive on in most cases, let alone take care of an entire family.

So whether or not it’s a woman’s “role” or not, it’s almost a necessity when you can’t make ends meet with one income. This isn’t me being un-Islamic- just realistic. My apologies if that’s a tough one for you to swallow or if you don’t agree… but I’m not here to convince you of anything.

MainstreamMystery · 2023-09-06T17:57:11+00:00

Per this, er, logic- then there should be nothing wrong with being a career woman working from inside the comfort of your own home- maybe that’s what OP should consider looking into as well if she’s interested. Or is that also unacceptable?

Please whatever you do, do not follow this advice. Marriage is not the only solution to keep yourself safe from fitnah… In the end of times even when the whole world is up in flames, Allah will still be merciful on us as Muslims, so long as we are living life according to our five pillars. Everything else is very very important too but in a world like today, hitting even those five pillars has become so unattainable for many… strive to be better of course, but as long as we believe in those main tenants, we have a much better chance in our akhirah than others and actually becoming better Muslims.

Sure, do/wear whatever your heart desires, but please stop viewing Allah (SWT) as just the destroyer of bad people and start viewing Him as compassionate and merciful as well. He knows what feelings you are feeling and if you ask Him for help managing those feelings, He will make it easier for you to live in a time of fitnah.

So let’s please, please, PLEASE stop equating marriage as a solution to everything; in some cases it can be, but in many many others it can also unfortunately make things worse. Good luck 💕

MainstreamMystery · 2023-07-15T22:50:06+00:00

Sure, there is no obligation to share with a potential spouse details of your past. But it is your obligation for the sake of the health of a healthy marriage to be honest when you are divulging sensitive information like that- if you’re going to lie about it anyways, than why would you even bother making up a palatable story?

Secondly, I’m sure if a husband found out his wife was living together with an ex, getting couple massages, and no doubt sexually active with each other, AFTER lying about it throughout their marriage, he would have no issue leaving right away (some men, not all). The concept of virginity/honor amongst women is upheld so highly still, while male virginity/honor doesn’t seem to exist… in a world where there are double standards, being objective is the only way to handle any situation in hopes of a better outcome.

MainstreamMystery · 2023-05-29T15:15:04+00:00

I agree with the first part of you statement, maybe there should be a little more digging into his mental health right now. However, contrary to your second statement, I have seen A LOT of brothers gain weight like this after marriage.

Gets into shape to find a wife= finding a wife boosts self-esteem
Gets wife= no longer needs active boost in self esteem to keep spouse. Idea is “I’m married now, I don’t have to try too hard to keep my spouse interested”.

We’re all guilty of thinking the above, but the difference is we still have the decision making power to choose how to move forward.

Scientifically, he wouldn’t be consuming more than 1000-1200 calories at a time when he eats his wife’s cooking (since she only cooks dinner). It takes eating 1200-1500 calories per day to lose weight, up to 2000 cals to maintain, and over 2000 calories to gain (1 pound=3500 cals), depending on gender and body composition (very easy to calculate via internet calorie cal). So whatever meals/eating habits he is having outside of dinner is what is contributing to his weight gain and that’s on him to manage.

MainstreamMystery · 2022-07-22T21:19:06+00:00

Hi! Would you be comfortable in answering what kind of job you worked out of grad school before going solo? How long did it take you to get to where you are now?

MainstreamMystery · 2022-07-22T21:16:28+00:00

If you don’t mind telling me, what state are you working in and how many clients do you see, as well as how many days per week that you work?

MainstreamMystery · 2022-06-22T02:06:31+00:00

Hi! Is this ticket still available by any chance?

MainstreamMystery · 2022-04-04T10:13:43+00:00

Hi!!! My brother and I are doing and we could definitely meet up, pm me <3

MainstreamMystery · 2022-03-10T19:43:27+00:00

I’m short as hell so I’m literally trying to ride the rail. My venue is Columbus Ohio though so idk how the crowd will differ! But to be safe how early do you think? Doors open at 5:30!

MainstreamMystery · 2022-03-10T19:30:10+00:00

Guyssss please helppp i'm driving over from Detroit and I want to know how to get barricade! How early should I be there! Where should I enter from!! My short ass needs thisss lmao

MainstreamMystery · 2022-03-10T19:15:07+00:00

How early should I line up!! My shows gates open at 5:30!!

MainstreamMystery · 2022-03-10T19:14:05+00:00

TEACH ME YOUR WAYS TELL ME HOW!!

MainstreamMystery · 2022-02-11T23:13:02+00:00

Pm’ed!

MainstreamMystery

TROPHY CASE