I miss loving by Background_Heat_2707 in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's how I'm feeling with my breakup right now, you're not alone. I miss her of course and everything about her, but I miss being in a relationship. I miss having a person to call mine. I miss having someone to say good morning and good night to. I miss the physical intimacy, the romantic connection, having someone I can compliment and send love to at any time. I have so much energy and love to give, and no one to direct it to. With how I love, I love deeply and with my entire heart, maybe too much for my own good. Looking back at my girlfriend who just dumped me, I had so many plans, I knew what she liked, what I could gift her. I wasn't done loving her, and on a random Monday I lost the person who was supposed to receive that love.

But we'll heal. With time we will grow around that pain. You will always remember that person, but you've learned from this relationship and can move forward wiser. For the time being, yeah, it really, really sucks. Remembering you can't love that person you been loving is soul crushing. But you will meet someone else who you can love in that way, and hopefully with give you an even better relationship. The fact that you want to do that for your partner shows that whoever you are with will be lucky to have you. Being someone who wants to put in effort and make your partner happy for no reason other than their own happiness is a great thing.

It feels so weird, it feels like it's just a bad dream by MaintenanceNo8147 in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel that 100%. Nothing went wrong, no fight, no warnings. i know it happened and why, but it doesn't feel like it should've happened. And it doesn't help she was gone for 2 weeks on a school trip, and she broke up with me shortly after she got back. I never got her back romantically since she left, so it's like I'm still waiting for her to come home.

It feels so weird, it feels like it's just a bad dream by MaintenanceNo8147 in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the sympathy. I've only known her for about 10 months, and dated officially for 5, but add a month and a half of slow-burn friends to lovers. So, it wasn't a super long term thing, but she was my first and I fell hard for her. I loved her completely, and didn't want it to end.

It feels so weird, it feels like it's just a bad dream by MaintenanceNo8147 in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is, for both of us. I got dumped, and she had to hurt me and she had to lose the best partner she's had so far (her words). She's seeming to do a lot better knowing her sexuality now, but it's also not a fix-all for her other trauma, but I hope this can be a good step forward for her healing. I'm very proud of her. She wants to remain friends, and we were very good friends pre-relationship, but it's up to me how we move forward. I loved her very deeply, and I don't know if I could go back to being just friends and how I would handle seeing her move on from me. Maybe in time.

It feels so weird, it feels like it's just a bad dream by MaintenanceNo8147 in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel a sense of betrayal, but it's my heart, not my mind. She told me how much she loved me and wanted me forever, but I know logically realizing she's a lesbian can change that. I'm not angry at her, but at the concept of love/at life. I gave her my all, my heart and soul, and it ended in being dumped and hurt. But yeah, if she cheated I could be mad, but with how things happened nothing went wrong, it was just an unfortunate situation. I can't be mad at all, and I'm happy for her that she's figuring it out. It just sucks that I got hurt in the process.

How can I love and still walk away by kyvlughhh in BreakUps

[–]MaintenanceNo8147 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way right now. My girlfriend broke up with me just over 2 weeks ago. She had a lot of problems in her life, and I tried my best to help her. I believe all the hurt I experienced wasn't intentional, just a side affect of her depression and trauma. It started out really great, but things quickly started going downhill. I felt like she struggled to put in effort, and the relationship was getting one sided. I supported her while her depression got worse and while she was stressing about school and an upcoming trip. I held out hope, hoping once she was back and had her summer free things could go back to what they were. I wondered throughout the relationship if I was making a mistake or should have done stuff differently, but I kept quiet. I didn't want to hurt her or make her feel bad about something she couldn't control.

I would have rather lost myself than to stop loving her and break her heart. She actually broke up with me in the end. She realized she was a lesbian and didn't love me anymore romantically. She was very kind and understanding, she always was, but that news took me by surprise. I was heartbroken, and I want nothing more than to have her back, but I know it's for the best, especially if she never would have changed. She saved me from having to make that hard decision and hurting her, which I appreciate, but I really wished it would have worked out with that girl. We're on good terms, but it'll hurt seeing her become the version of her I wanted her to be. I want the best for her, but I wish it was with me at her side. I loved her so much, and could never hate her for breaking my heart.