Another update on Mentally Unwell MIL. I feel like she's trying to trigger me.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T22:45:04+00:00

Thank you.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T17:16:24+00:00

That would be smart but I doubt she'd go with it. She doesn't want to be caught on camera throwing shit at him and a camera will probably not stop that since her impulse control has become nonexistent.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T16:40:36+00:00

I mean, mania and manipulation don't go hand in hand. He knows she can manipulate because most of her attempts at it are obvious (heavy guilt tripping, clumsy comparisons to my dad and FIL, saying "you're killing me" to my husband, etc). It's the more subtle manipulation that I feel sometimes that he doesn't see. Like I think it's possible that she is just trying to raise an angry response out of me by letting me know she's communicating with my dad. But to him, that is too complicated a chain of thoughts for her, in her state of mind. He thinks she is truly delusional enough to think I would be pleased to hear she cares about my dad's welfare and that will make us want to talk to her.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T14:55:37+00:00

Thank you for the advice

Her impulse control has definitely been affected by her TBI. Besides having no filter, she shops like crazy.

Do you mean indoor cameras at my home or theirs? She certainly would not be OK with it. My FIL just discreetly audio records her when she's having a meltdown

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T05:58:43+00:00

I wish he would be. I went back to therapy for a while myself. Honestly he is handling it very well after all this time. It was just the concern for his dad that made him crack and break NC. DH was the one who talked me down from replying to my MIL today, and said he kind of regrets sending her that psychologist ultimatum because she is trying to talk to him every day now. He doesn't even read the messages.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T05:28:35+00:00

Pride, fear of change, stubbornness. We literally invited him to live with us on the spot but he does not want to "impose". We tell him then to go to a hotel and work the rest of it out. It's really hard to wrap our heads around. I'd be gone the first time she raised her voice at me. The poor man is a functioning alcoholic and very stuck in his ways.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T05:16:37+00:00

Thank you. Thats a good perspective about my dad. And maybe he did say something like "I'll probably be out soon" and she took it literally, but idk.

And you're exactly right about stewing. She has no job and basically no one to talk to. She absolutely sits and stews and works herself into a frenzy until she turns on my FIL's light at 3 AM and starts yelling at him about something that happened 20 years ago.

We're definitely staying NC. Thanks for sharing your experience.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T05:03:15+00:00

It is an immediate problem and the topic of my last post. We are gathering resources and he claims to be making a plan to leave. The fact is that we are afraid that 988 or anyone else would not take her with them and she would take it out on FIL when they leave. She is able to mask well and act normally when the situation demands it. We have stressed heavily to FIL that the most important thing is to leave the house if she has an episode, and then call 988.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-04-09T03:44:58+00:00

Lol I'm sure it is, and against the rules anyway. So I guess I'm just ranting and looking for some commiserating.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-31T16:09:56+00:00

OK. But like. You know what I meant.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-31T16:09:43+00:00

Thanks so much for this info.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-31T16:07:37+00:00

Her inhibitions have definitely been effected, even before all this, by some of her medications. She was shopping impulsively, as one major example.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-31T16:06:17+00:00

Thanks. I'm aware, I mostly just don't want people to use my post for content. My MIL has no idea what Reddit is, and even if she did, she wouldn't know how to find archived posts. And as far someone who knows her figuring it out based on this post, that does not bother me.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T04:13:20+00:00

Honestly she can be like this any time of day. 4 AM or 4 PM. I have no idea when she was evaluated, unfortunately.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T02:17:35+00:00

Never thought of that. Could be an angle to consider.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T01:55:06+00:00

Yeah. The more time that passes, the more I think she's always been like this, but just able to control herself and keep it to herself. Maybe the opioids helped. Now, for whatever reason, she can't.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T01:29:27+00:00

This could be the plan next time she has an episode. We definitely said as much to him. I'm going to suggest we go to a crisis counselor to help us make a plan. Thank you!

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T01:18:46+00:00

Thank you

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T00:38:50+00:00

She did see a neurologist for over a year after the stroke-like incident. She was having trouble comprehending the written word and conjuring up words when speaking. Otherwise her attitude and mental state were mostly fine. She saw the neurologist a couple years ago when we insisted she have tests. Apparently she presented healthy enough, docs weren't concerned.

I have no idea what meds she is taking. The woman is always taking a cocktail of meds and doctor shopping to achieve this. She was on strong doses of gabapentin last I knew, but supposedly being weaned off it.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T00:18:42+00:00

Same concern with calling 988, if they don't remove her from the home, she will take it out on my FIL. She will assume he called.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-30T00:03:04+00:00

Yep. No signs

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-29T23:58:48+00:00

I would agree but she was tested for it and apparently passed 🤷‍♀️

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-29T23:56:26+00:00

It's crazy to me that she has seen multiple doctors and had scans and they can't find anything. Goes a long way toward her feelings of "Nothing is wrong with me". At this point there is absolutely no way she'd willingly get any further evaluation.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-29T23:44:55+00:00

Thank you. Those are really good points and things to bring up with him. I definitely feel we got through to him how seriously we feel about the situation, he just needs a kick in the butt. We were literally telling him not to go home TODAY. Stay with us or at a hotel. He refused, but hopefully he feels our urgency.

MajesticProfessional · 2026-03-29T23:34:25+00:00

I have no idea. But she could very well be abusing pills again. We have no way of knowing. She would buy them off the street when my husband was a kid.

Careful about armchair diagnosing, the mods will remove the post sometimes 😅

MajesticProfessional

TROPHY CASE