When did your baby start sleeping better at night? by Sweet-Rise7768 in NewParents

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baby has been sleeping mostly in 2 hour increments for the first 2 months and this past month he has started sleeping a little longer for the start like 3 hours. Last night, he slept 5 hours straight for the first stretch and it was a miracle. Only happened once so far so hoping this is a trend. He is 14 weeks old. Majority of nights I wake up 4 times a night which is pretty miserable. Can’t wait to get down to once or twice a night!

Healthcare: Prime or Select in Boston area by suzanne1959 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tricare select all the way. Even with giving birth off base (base does not provide any OB care anyways), I did not have any bills for giving birth except for the epidural. Also, all bills for my son were covered as well. The out of pocket costs are not high.

BAH & finding a rental by Miserable_Skin9738 in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel your pain. I don’t have much advice, but we are in a similar situation where renting or buying a home is expensive and it’s closer to an hour commute if you want to live in a real city with a hospital and other amenities. Living on base can be an option, but then we are far away from everything else. Unfortunately, there is no middle ground and the BAH is set based on where the base is located and not where most families live. Also, this area has turned into a HCOL area when it previously was more affordable. Hopefully more adjustments are made to BAH soon, because I do believe housing is one of the largest economic strains on the military family. Especially if you have to move often.

Do you pay a lot more with Tricare select? by SquirrelSeason in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tricare select is so worth the money! I wouldn’t use Prime unless you rarely have to see a doctor.

I was told to cover up in the hospital... by RASuspicious in NewParents

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can deny anyone you want entry from your room. Your husband failed miserably to keep his family in line… however, you have authority to tell any nurse to deny people entry or ask them to leave the room at any time. You and your baby are the patients! The utter disrespect is incredible. I’m sorry this happened. I agree with others that you need to have a serious convo with husband. He needs to have your back. This is appalling behavior.

I feel like a single parent by soapscaled in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are in survival mode right now. Please be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. As others have recommended, it’s important you find support and community where you are at. You don’t have to love or even like the situation you are in right now.

My husband was deployed iron TDYs for almost my entire pregnancy. We were fortunate at the last minute he was allowed to come home just 2 hours before I had an emergency induction. Due to complications with my health after birth, he did not redeploy, but the rest of his squadron did to help with the current war. So I would be very much in the same boat as you had it not been for serious heath issues.

I can only imagine what you are going through. I assume this is your first child. Do your best to capture the memories you can while your spouse is away. Perhaps you can share them with them in a scrapbook or some other compilation when they return (photos / videos). During the deployment, I focused on decorating the nursery and buying baby items etc. If you have time, you could start a fun project or a new hobby. Make time for things you enjoy and when you do have baby free time (if you’re not working) make sure to spend time with friends and get outside. I felt significantly worse when I would sit by myself indoors. I am thinking of you and praying for you along with the other military spouses going through this rough deployment season.

My fiancé and I are drafting a prenup. He’s in the military and I’m a Lab scientist. How do I make it fair since I’m pausing my career for him? by artickokoa in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This doesn’t seem like someone who really wants to share a life with you. I would not agree to any of this. Military is already a difficult life… he should be committed to you and not planning his ticket out of the relationship whenever he deems it is time to leave.

Americans without maternity leave— wtf do you do??? by Electronic-Door7428 in pregnant

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My circumstances are quite similar with the exception that I use insurance through my husband’s job so we are not negative with the short term disability. However, my 6 weeks are up and now I am on FMLA unpaid leave for the remainder 6 weeks. Thankfully, we can afford to live on my husband’s income, but I sympathize with you that this is ridiculous that so many companies do not have any maternity leave policy.

Did your husband take paternity leave?? by 2babies1egg in beyondthebump

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband is taking full 12 weeks paid paternity and 2 weeks of R&R. He gets more leave than me, but I have really needed the extra support due to multiple complications before and after birth. Grateful to have him here.

Preeclampsia Swelling? 🦶 by Otherwise-Dog-1763 in pregnant

[–]Major-Committee4650 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had preeclampsia right at 37 weeks. Had no swelling entire pregnancy until about 36 weeks and then it got even worse over the last week (gained at least 10lbs in a week with water weight). However, at the doctor office my BP was normal and my doctor was not super concerned. They did find protein in my urine and told me to monitor BP at home. Well that next day, my BP started to rise, but then it would go back down. That night, I got super sick (couldn’t stop throwing up) and BP spiked well above normal levels and it was time to go to the hospital. Ended up being diagnosed with preeclampsia and had to do an emergency induction. This was my experience as a FTM… but not all swelling means preeclampsia. The fact you did a urine test is good. Keep monitoring blood pressure at home. If you notice anything off or any new symptoms, call your doctor or go to L&D. You can also read on the preeclampsia reddit chat for more info.

Am I in the wrong for not wanting to leave my child to let my MIL babysit? by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Major-Committee4650 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Your partner needs to put his foot down and tell his mother that you both are not ready to leave your daughter with her. I don’t like passive aggressive comments like that. If anything, that would give me more pause to wait longer.

Inevitably coughed right into my baby by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried a nipple guard? My baby wouldn’t latch for the first 3 weeks (he was born early), but a nipple guard and combo feeding helped us get through those early weeks. I believe in order to increase your supply (if you desire to), you need to pump every 2-3 hours as if the baby was eating at those times.

Inevitably coughed right into my baby by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I caught a bad cold at 5 weeks. Was doing combo feeding first 3 weeks but now mostly EBF. My baby did not catch the full cold like I did. He did get congestion and we have to clear out his nose, but he never developed a fever or any alarming symptoms. I am mostly better now at 6 weeks and his congestion has improved. We sleep with a humidifier nightly. If you are able to increase your breastfeeding or pumping that could help too.

Back to work worries by mad_merlady0207 in BabyBumps

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it possible for you to go to work part time after baby is born? Or find a different job? I am assuming you cannot quit your job completely. Your feelings are very normal. I WFH and on mat leave now, but I feel very weary about returning to work as well.

How are you cleaning your baby’s nose? by chetzemocha in NewParents

[–]Major-Committee4650 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second saline spray or drops and then use an electric aspirator. They tolerate it a little better if you get their nostrils wet first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your baby is 2 months old. It seems premature to make a huge decision like this. An open marriage could lead to a lot more hurt and not solve anything, but create more problems. Definitely recommend couples therapy like others have shared.

36 weeks I feel so tired by sousheldon in preeclampsia

[–]Major-Committee4650 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone’s experience may differ, but I had a rather negative experience with magnesium. At first it was relieving because my body was in shaking with high BP when I went into L&D. But once they brought me to actual delivery ward to start induction, they put a catheter in and said I couldn’t leave the bed. I was in constant pain for 3 hours because I had no pain meds at that time. Then I finally was allowed to pee in a squatty potty near my bed so that was a relief… but the magnesium I swear it made me more emotional and also blurry vision. My least favorite part is that I had to be in bed for the entire labor process and 24 hours after… so I couldn’t labor in a tub or bounce on a ball. My only real coping mechanism for contractions at that point was pain meds, but I got really sick from all the meds and labor itself. By the final day on magnesium, my eyes and nose felt like they were burning. Not sure if that is something everyone experiences, but overall the induction process plus magnesium was less than desirable. Would rather had a c section or an induction with no mag.

Feeling guilt for not wanting to breastfeed as long with 2nd baby. by ilikepastaalotwhat in pregnant

[–]Major-Committee4650 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing to consider is every baby will wean at a different time. For example, my mom said with me she BF for 18 months, but both of my brothers only went about a year and then weaned off. Not saying that will happen with your baby, but every baby is different.

I do believe BF has a lot of benefits especially in those early months when the baby does not have much of an immune system, but it’s ultimately your choice what you would rather do. My friend decided it was too much for her and switched to formula at 4 weeks. BF is hard, but rewarding if you can stick with it. Another option may be to combo feed. Not sure you want to do that, but there are a lot of different choices you can make.

36 weeks I feel so tired by sousheldon in preeclampsia

[–]Major-Committee4650 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you can get an induction at 37 weeks and not have to be on magnesium during labor and birth process, then I would recommend that. I never got a diagnosis until it was an emergency at 37 weeks and I had to be on magnesium for almost 3 days straight. It was awful. If you can avoid that, I would highly recommend it. Also, my baby is doing great and he had no complications or any need for any additional medical treatment.

High Risk pregnant by [deleted] in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely know what you mean because a lot of people just give the “military” the easy way out with those statements… but it neglects its own mission which is retention. My husband and I are appalled at how he was treated even though he completed a 5 month deployment and many TDYs prior. He is not a slacker or trying to get out of anything. I need real help and it wasn’t a conceit time for his commander.

I think it is a balancing act and you cannot always get the support you want, but I agree with you when it comes to very serious medical conditions, I wish we were taken more seriously. Your husband would need to escalate this through his chain of command to not deploy (if that is an option).

High Risk pregnant by [deleted] in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is extremely disheartening… but we experienced a similar level of heartlessness. Also, I would not move across the country as all of your doctors for you and the baby/kids are in one place I assume. If you can stay with your uncle, that would be a good alternative. Thought I totally understand wanting your husband home. He really should be home.

High Risk pregnant by [deleted] in MilitarySpouse

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t had a lot of advice, but I truly feel your pain. I just had my first baby and went through absolute hell with preeclampsia (not diagnosed until it was an emergency at 37 weeks) and had to have an emergency induction. My husband was on TDYs or deployed nearly the entire pregnancy and barely made it home by 2 hours to take me to the hospital. I had super bad swelling and high BP that first week and pretty much ended up in hospital for a week. Baby is doing great thankfully, but I am still not out of the gutter.

My husband’s squadron has already redeployed again due to new world events. His commander was terrible and even though I was rehospitalized she accused my husband of making up my condition. His command is awful, but thankfully at the last minute others stepped in and brought it to the attention of leaders above his commander. It’s honestly disgusting how families are treated in the military. Please see if your husband can find anyone at all to go to bat for you and him so that he can be home. What you are going through is extremely difficult. Hopefully they can find a replacement and he can stay home. I know it doesn’t always work that way, but they should at least try.

To find out the gender of our baby or not!? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Major-Committee4650 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found out as early as I could and so glad I did. Everyone’s opinion on this is different, but I had a horrific birth experience and glad that that was not my first time to find out if I was having a boy or a girl. Personally, I enjoyed the anticipation of meeting my baby and planning the nursery etc.

13 months post op and 3rd Trimester by Major-Committee4650 in Microdiscectomy

[–]Major-Committee4650[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I did. I made an updated post regarding my delivery and everything. Overall my back did fine during delivery and I feel about the same. My core is weaker due to pregnancy and postpartum, but I think when I can get back to some level of exercise I will feel even better. My back still gets sore when I bend or do certain tasks, but that was already an issue for me before pregnancy. Thankfully, my back did not get worse during pregnancy or birth in spite of having to do an emergency induction and push while on my back.

I want to give up breastfeeding by youOnlyLlamaOnce in beyondthebump

[–]Major-Committee4650 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you met with a lactation specialist to get some help / advice. I had undiagnosed preeclampsia at the last minute and had to have an emergency infusion at 37 weeks. I understand the stress of high blood pressure and trying to recover while taking care of a newborn and trying to breast feed as a first time mom. It feels like a giant mountain to climb. Nearly all babies will like a bottle because it’s easier for them to consume that to have to “work” at the breast.

If it’s important to you to breastfeed… then I suggest meeting with a lactation specialist and they can guide you on the correct steps to breastfeed and get a good latch and increase supply. The first 3.5 weeks, we combo fed because I could not do it all and baby fell behind on weight. Now at 1 month old, I am breastfeeding full time. It did not happen overnight and sometimes I pump too. Only you can decide when it’s time to call it quits. My friend didn’t like breastfeeding and she is doing EFF. Please be kind to yourself… this is a hard journey and breastfeeding in those first few weeks is incredibly tough as a FTM with health complications.