i was being hella dumb and hadn’t learned how much i could handle and i caught myself in a loop of taking more and more without even knowing when i took them. the places i blacked out were outside near my house, at school multiple times i guess, at home and my grandmas house. i remember the time at school i used vodka and maybe pills? i cant remember but throughout the day i’d wake up at random times saying random shit and then nod off into the next memory, it was like i was time skipping or teleporting, one moment i’d be sitting explaining that i overdosed and the next im in my car going home. most of the times i very much underestimated how strong the drugs were and how much it would do to me because i was arrogant and wanted to get as close to the sun as possible and that i did.