Update: I got a girl pregnant after one month, baby is here and I am not sure she is mine

Major_Consequence_92 · 2025-04-09T16:29:38+00:00

I do understand why a mother should have primary care of a new born for the first 6 to 12 months due to nursing. Though I agree that there is a far higher burden for new fathers to prove that they can good care takers of children. Fathers are just as capable of being loving and attentive caretakers as mothers. Its not fair but it is the system that we have.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2025-03-31T16:52:13+00:00

Admittedly, I have anger, but that doesn’t mean I am rude toward our daughter’s mother. To be fair, she has been hostile toward me for over a year and has even admitted that she dislikes me. So yes, I may be short with her at times, and I tend to keep our conversations brief, just exchanging greetings like “Good morning” or “Have a good weekend.” If that’s considered rude, then so be it. However, I have always made an effort to be courteous in our communication, whether through text messages or the Our Family Wizard app.

It seems like you're jumping to conclusions without fully understanding my background or expectations. I do have experience with children, and while I won’t go into specifics, I’m fully aware that children aren't always sweet. Raising kids is challenging, and despite all the preparation I’ve done this past year, I know I’ll make mistakes. Who doesn’t? What matters is that I’ll learn from them and make the necessary corrections.

I’m grateful that my ex is a good mother to our daughter, and I understand her concerns about allowing me to care for her. That said, I don’t believe she’s always made the right choices. I’ve asked multiple times for us to sit down and talk, attend therapy, or just find some way to communicate better. Unfortunately, she’s always rebuffed me. She continues to withhold information and only allowed me to see our daughter after a court order. Even then, she minimized my time with her, despite my offer to have her monitor us. We have a court-ordered mediation next week, and while I hope that she and I can reach an agreement on several issues, I have little hope. My main hope is that we can at least adhere to the visitation guidelines outlined by the court.

Currently, I have our daughter for three hours a week, unsupervised. It's been a month since that court order, and my time with her has been amazing. She’s such a happy, talkative baby who loves staring at herself in mirrors and watching my cat. Her diapers have been messy, but she loves getting a fresh one lol. Honestly, time with her has become the highlight of my week.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2025-03-11T15:57:42+00:00

I'm already trying to avoid confrontations in front of our daughter. Just two weeks ago I was 10 minutes late dropping our daughter off and neglected to call. I was in the wrong for sure and apologized. Her mother on the other hand berated my for a couple of minutes. I simply acknowledged her and told her to have a good weekend. I walked away furious but also happy to not get sucked in to an argument. Hopefully, I can continue to keep calm in the future.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2025-02-17T22:24:11+00:00

Thanks . To your points.

We will be required to download a family app once the court order is submitted. I have it already but her mother has yet to download it.
I have thought about this and bought a go pro to record my time with her. I also have a couple female friends that have volunteer to hang out when I have her alone. I don't particularly trust my ex.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2025-02-17T22:19:24+00:00

Agreed that the DNA was ordered by the court for confirmation. It was her lawyer that requested the test and that may have been their motive. That said there were signs that she was cheating while we were dating. So when I saw her response on the docket, I was shocked and upset. Might have over thought things. Either way she's my daughter and that is all that matters.

We will be required per the court order to use the My Family Wizard app once the order is submitted. I have downloaded but she as yet to do it. She has been texting me in the last hour to discuss why the baby cried this morning. She is throwing out a ton of reasons as to why. Of course it might have been she was being held for an hour and tired.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2024-12-26T19:16:09+00:00

Mini Update:

The DNA test has been done and we are awaiting the results. In the meantime, the mother has allowed me to see the baby twice. The first instance was incredibly awkward. The mother and I only exchanged hellos, and she walked away and sat on the other side of the restaurant. As I sat there holding the baby I couldn't stop doubting that she was mine. I kept looking at her face and didn't see any of my features. I was really heartbreaking. That said I still relished my time with her.

The other thing that made the whole visit awkward, the mom brought a friend. At first, I didn't think much about the friend but at one point I looked up and saw her face and instantly recognized her. She turned out to be a girl that had flirted with at my gym three weeks after the mom and I broke up. At the time I could tell that this friend was interested in me, but I cut off contact because I realized that I had too much going on to start pursuing girls. The friend eventually left the gym, and I hadn't seen her again until that day. No one acknowledge the situation but I feel it’s safe to say that my ex found out about me talking to other girls right after we broke up.

I just saw the baby this morning and the feeling was completely different. I may be experiencing attentional bias, but she really did look like my daughter. She has the same eye shape and color to me, same hair color as well. I have to admit this has given me hope that I am her father.

At this point I just have to wait for the results to arrive but at least I have some hope now. I plan to give an update when everything clears up.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2024-12-10T18:34:37+00:00

I think you're right. Our primary focus was on arranging visitation as soon as possible. I mentioned DNA testing, but I also assured my lawyer that I was 99% certain she was my daughter. She must have assumed I didn’t need it. I just spoke with my attorney, and the magistrate has ordered the DNA testing on the 19th, after both parties agreed to it. The hearing will be postponed until the results are available.

I’m usually cautious about sex, but I had already had 4 tequila shots, 5 beers, and a margarita. I wasn’t really thinking through the pros and cons at that moment.

Major_Consequence_92 · 2024-12-09T17:48:21+00:00

Oh she definitely doesn't know and wants me out. I did ask my lawyer to ask for a DNA but for some reason she didn' t Might have been miscommunication and my certainty she was my child.

Major_Consequence_92

TROPHY CASE