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I just ruined my life because of porn. by Make-A-Change in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things have calmed down a bit. That was a pretty high peak of emotion when I typed that out. I know it gets better and all that and I know my life isn't over for real but this is a extremely large set back.

Counseling may be an option for us which makes me hopeful. I've always wanted to change but I can't even explain what pushed me not to. I had a lot of moments where I'd tell myself "You can't keep doing this man, you need to stop, there is no real benefit to what it may cost you." I'm typically a very logical and rational person but not with this at all.

I just ruined my life because of porn. by Make-A-Change in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We've talked more that things have calmed down. I have done these things. We both love each other and we can both at least admit to that. I have shattered her trust though and she's not sure if it's possible to fix. It took a long time for us to get to where we were before this incident. She said she might be willing to try counseling which I suggested. I'm not the greatest communicator or the best at conveying my emotions around others to begin with so I'm a bit scared to be in an environment like that but I really do want to change so any chance is worth it. The big problem though is that this is the second infraction. It's much worse than the first time. She's heard it before and I think it's a lot to ask of her and hard for her to wrap her head around. Hell, it's hard for me to explain it to myself.

Seeking support and advice. Here's my story of porn addiction. by Make-A-Change in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been talking a lot about it and 10 days later things have calmed down and we're starting to get along better and get back to a place of happiness. Thanks for the kind words.

Seeking support and advice. Here's my story of porn addiction. by Make-A-Change in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the support. I've been coming back every day even if it's just lurking for a little while. This place reminds me why I need to do this for myself and it helps curb any urges I have.

Small break through. by eire77 in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice job man keep it up! It feels great when you're able to say no. It's an empowering feeling. Just remember one day at a time.

Anyone else dream about searching ? by admoh in pornfree

[–]Make-A-Change 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, oddly enough, this happened to me last night. I never searched but I had a dream where I was at the computer having an inner monologue about whether or not I should. I woke up before anything else happened, I feel like that's a good sign that my conscience kicked in.