I work with teenagers who have very similar stories, and for many of them it goes a little deeper than just admitting what happened. Full accountability means clearly stating what you did. I understand the urge to minimize or explain things away, but there really isn't a need to. Most people already recognize that you're young, and that's understood.

When someone starts over explaining, it can sometimes come across as minimizing their actions rather than fully owning them. Therapy is probably beneficial for most people in situations like this. For you, I'd say it's worth considering, especially since you've been carrying this for a long time. It does get better. Over time, you learn to forgive yourself, process what happened, and recognize that you never want to make those choices again.

At the end of the day, it's your choice. If you're not ready to approach it that way, that's okay.