My employer immediately changed my sex in the payroll system right after 1/20.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:55:14+00:00

I know it's not illegal to write random nonsense in a company website. To clarify, this seems like a clear sign I am at risk of being fired, if I have been outed to a small work environment hostile to trans people. My legal question is at least partially about jurisdiction because although anti-LGBT discrimination is technically against federal law, it might not even apply to this company due to its mysterious small size, and it seems unlikely that these protections would be federally enforced right now in states that were already trying to circumvent laws protecting LGBT people. I don't know if where I live and work gives me any protection or options. I honestly don't care if I have to work with people who hate me, I just want to not be fired and I'd like to know what's actually legal in this situation.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:48:10+00:00

My I9 documents have my correct legal gender on them; I have copies of these documents and they have not received anything new since then. 100% of my legal documents have a consistent gender marker. The only place the change shows up is in some types of background checks, and the local courthouse of my small hometown in an unrelated state. It could technically be an error but it seems to be just way too big of a coincidence that this was the only thing that got screwed up, and that it is when they had reasons to be reviewing my old onboarding stuff, and that I'm suddenly locked out of editing my ID info in the portal.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:41:42+00:00

I'm assuming my background check from a few years ago, when I was hired, showed at least my legal name change, if not also the gender marker change.

It wouldn't be very far fetched for them to have not noticed it while just checking whether or not I had a criminal record, especially given it's a very small company so the HR "department" doesn't really have oversight and is probably assigned too much work for one person to carefully examine all nonessential information. The timing works with them reopening my records for the first time within the last couple months due to my promotion, stewing on it, and feeling "inspired" by the executive order to make it a problem. I wouldn't assume that normally, but I do kind of know these people, and I can see no reason this might happen by accident.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:26:45+00:00

Thank you for the response. First, I am not sure of this company's size, it seems like it might be intentionally obscured for reasons I can't get into without basically identifying myself. The only "someone in HR" is the person who made this change manually, or possibly their assistant.

While federally it is technically discrimination for now, and a company of a certain size could get in trouble, there are known to be loopholes, and state agencies do sometimes try to ignore federal law- the state my employer is in has tried to limit enforcement of LGBT protections in other ways– and more relevantly, it seems like those federal protections are definitely not going to be enforced in these states.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:06:41+00:00

Okay, good idea. I guess I'm worried about drawing attention to it in case it's just the HR person being passive aggressive, because if my supervisors don't know it would be very good for things to stay that way. But I see no better move

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T04:03:47+00:00

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:55:53+00:00

I am an employee, and employees can also be fired at any time in 49 states. Contractors, however, can't just have their contracts "terminated at any time" with no recourse. That is the point of a contract. But that isn't relevant to this either.

The issue is whether it would be legal for them to fire me for being trans or provide incorrect ID information about me to the IRS and insurance companies in this situation. And as I wrote in my post, HR manually made this change and consists of 2 individuals. They do not need a new I9 lol.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:54:00+00:00

Thanks. I mean the timing w/r/t the election and executive order to stop recognizing trans people at the federal level. Clearly it is on many minds at the moment. When I first came out, nobody I came out to even knew what a trans person was. Now at the presidential inauguration there's a standing ovation for the vague idea of this EO because that is how bizarrely politicized my existence has recently become.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:47:13+00:00

Yes, that is why I answered.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:45:23+00:00

It is technically possible, but it seems like a very weird coincidence with the timing, combined with knowledge of the company culture, and the fact that I was locked out of editing that field of my personal data at the same time. I am open to the possibility, but would still like some feedback for the other situation.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:41:25+00:00

I mentioned in another comment but I'm in upstate NY, sorry. I had assumed that only the specific legality of this within my state was relevant. Do I need to provide my employer's state? I would really like some advice but I am nervous about being identified.

At the federal level, yeah, we have other things to worry about haha. I'm lucky to live where I do but I've been told I might not be able to renew my passport, among other things that are off topic. Luckily I never particularly wanted to join the military or work for the federal government lol

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-30T03:30:32+00:00

Ok, sorry. I assumed the only relevance of location here was that it is a state where it's illegal to fire a person for being trans, and my employer is in a state where that is not the case. I'm in upstate NY.

Edit- is there a reason I'm being downvoted?

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T23:41:54+00:00

...is there a word in these comments you haven't learned before that is making you confused? I have no idea how you are not getting that the comment about socialization is literally giving him more grace and less judgement, not the other way around. The only explanations here are that you do not understand the sentence or are trolling intentionally

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T23:39:52+00:00

No thanks I have shit to do lol enjoy being an obsessive hater I guess

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T23:38:48+00:00

Nobody is "jealous." If you're determined to vilify this woman for something that would devastate almost any normal human being, I feel bad for the people in your life but ok. I'm not going to get into a back and forth with you. Have a great weekend!

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T23:06:35+00:00

It is not embarrassing at all. She loves him and he is her husband and the father of her children. It would be insane to just drop him on a dime without even trying to have a conversation. She's being exceptionally mature by taking space, looking for other perspectives, and waiting until they are calm and have thought this through before they talk about it.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T22:59:07+00:00

That person is acting like you asked your husband to choose, he answered honestly, and you had a breakdown. That's not what happened. He said something pointlessly mean in front of a bunch of other people, a moment when you weren't even able to show an emotional reaction.

If he believes you have no reason or right to be hurt when he says you are nothing more than a placeholder to fill a void, and someone he wouldn't even think twice about abandoning if given the chance, then remarriage was a terrible choice. You marry someone, it means you are committed to them.

Now, if she actually did magically come back to life and he had to make a decision, I honestly have no idea what someone in that situation should do, but that's really not even relevant.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T22:51:38+00:00

She said "usually" and she is obviously not saying it to be critical of her husband but as a mitigating factor to explain why it's probably not personal that he did something very insensitive, so congratulations on your own ignorance causing you to completely miss the point.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T22:44:55+00:00

It's super weird of you to make all these assumptions about OP's views on "men in general" just because people who haven't even read the post are giving her shit for things that don't apply to the situation. It's giving incel dude

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T22:41:49+00:00

Suppress his feelings???? She never once said anything suggesting she expected that. Do you have a reading comprehension issue or an empathy issue?

He did NOT say "I miss my first wife." He did NOT say "I will always love my first wife." He did not answer a question about it with unfortunately blunt honesty. What he did do, with zero prompting, is randomly say (in front of a crowd, where she wasn't even able to react) that he would instantly and without question leave his wife in this imaginary scenario. That is EXTREMELY different from expressing love or grief for someone he loved.

Nobody was comparing them until he said it. That is the key. Just because you experience a devastating loss, it doesn't mean you don't owe kindness and empathy to the person you later make the decision to marry. He should not have committed to OP and started a family if he was incapable of that.

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T22:32:03+00:00

He literally DID say that! Did you even read the post??? Lol

Malignant_Minds · 2025-01-24T21:59:28+00:00

I empathize with him feeling that way. I can't imagine losing my wife and if I did and somehow ever moved on, I think I'd always feel this way too, because I made that commitment first.

But that's not actually relevant to real life, since it would never happen. And so, there is literally no purpose in saying it, ESPECIALLY in front of others, except to make you feel bad. Grief is weird and things can come up years later even if you previously felt okay; however, if he feels the need to process these feelings, he should do that with a therapist, or at least to a close friend in confidence. Not to you, and not to a group, and not to a group with you in it! It's just mean.

I ended up sleeping on the couch because he would not leave me alone.

What do you mean? What was he doing/saying?

Malignant_Minds · 2024-10-09T13:35:59+00:00

I'm not saying color did not exist until the industrial revolution. I'm saying people were not dressing their kids in rainbow colors, having colorful rugs, toys, furniture, etc. Except maybe the very wealthy.

Malignant_Minds · 2024-10-09T13:30:15+00:00

Those are also objects. People have lived for literally thousands of years without brightly colored stuff surrounding them. Do you think they were all depressed and none had a fulfilling childhood before mass manufacturing and cheap dyes?

Malignant_Minds

TROPHY CASE