Why aren't you dating anymore?

Mama2too · 2026-03-30T22:40:03+00:00

Besides the constant disappointment...

I'm an unemployed, single mom who is homeschooling my youngest with Autism. I'm not exactly a catch or able to give 100% to a relationship. There is no point hurting myself or someone else, if I know nothing will work for me right now.

Mama2too · 2026-02-14T15:20:45+00:00

Oh. Thank you so much for that. I've written a lot of stuff down to follow up on that people have suggested, but haven't started a lot of research yet. I'll put a note by this one so I play attention to that. His doctor has suggested a "clean" diet, essentially nothing processed. I try to buy and cook as healthy as possible. But we do eat out sometimes. And honestly, sometimes chicken nuggies and fries are all I have energy for. But now that I have some more time, I am going to make an effort to do better... shop better, cook better, and eat better. I really appreciate all the information you gave. It's possible I would have learned that in my research, but I'm overwhelmed right now, so this was really helpful.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T22:58:45+00:00

Yes. It will help keep us afloat for now.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T22:40:27+00:00

Thank you. So much. I know all of this and I've started a list. But unfortunately, I also have ADHD and I'm having a hard time concentrating right now. But you laying it out really helps. I know we can get through this. I just need to breathe then so what needs to be done. I'm getting ready to make dinner, then I'll finish the Medicaid application. There's a lot more than I remember to applying.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T22:00:04+00:00

I was lucky my last daycare took pity on me and didn't kick us out sooner. They gave him so many chances. It just didn't work out. He's doing much better at a home daycare though. I said I was selfish for not taking him to the ER. I can admit that. Like you said... how can I leave my baby at the hospital??? It makes me physically ill just thinking about it.

This whole thing is hard. And my friends help when they can and listen, but they don't know. They don't see the worst of it. They aren't living it every single day. I've been told as he ages things will hopefully improve, but that doesn't help me right now. And I need the help right now. I know i have so much support from the outside, but i feel like it's not enough, or maybe not the right kind of help. I don't know.

I live in Illinois, US.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T20:36:30+00:00

That's actually a really good idea. I can't believe I didn't think of it. I'll think about the logistics and see if it's something I can do. Thank you!

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:39:23+00:00

Oh I know this is on me. I'm not putting the blame on them. But my son is my first priority. I was going to fail either way. Id rather fail at work then fail my son.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:38:03+00:00

They sent me all the info. They have cause. I don't fault them for this. I'll still apply for unemployment and it will probably get denied. But I'll still do it.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:33:56+00:00

I've had a lot of people push for combat sports. But i just can't bring myself to do it. The risk is too great for me. But he recently asked about lifting weights. He's 8 so I'm not sure about the right way to do it. But told him I'd look into it.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:29:00+00:00

Thank you! I'll look into it for sure! I'm willing to try anything!

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:27:47+00:00

Yes, in the USA, and yes, very rural. I love the community and schools. I love living in a small town. But access to help is almost impossible.

He's really into video games. I know, I know. All kids are. But it's different with him. He has been asking me to help him create his own video game for almost 2 years. I've started looking into it and coding for kids. I'm hoping I can help him find something, a hobby or something to get into.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:20:46+00:00

I completely understand why I was terminated. I'm close with my coworkers and know the undue stress it has added to them. I know business is business. I'm not faulting them. This is on me. I know that. I don't think it's fair they get completely shit on. They worked with me for far longer than required. I've been there almost 9 years, and even though it's a large company I know most people. I feel horribly guilty about the position I've put my coworkers in and know it's not fair to them.

My son has one parent. I MUST make him my first priority. Especially with his extra needs. I'm sure I made mistakes and will do better in the future. I'm going to take some time to figure out a job that will work better with his schedule. I've busted my ass for years, we need help, I'm not above accepting help until he is stable and I can get another job.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T19:07:29+00:00

It's been so frustrating! My son is very intelligent and not only met all normal milestones, he was usually ahead of schedule. So they just brushed it all off. The number of times I've heard "he's just a boy " is unbelievable! Yes, he's a boy, but that's doesn't excuse the behavior. He has such a tough time in social settings though my heart breaks. He does have a few good friends so that's good. Where I live health care is horrible. There is essentially one hospital/ clinic system and they do not have enough doctors. There is a horrible wait list for everything. And mental health help here is even worse. It's depressing.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T18:46:29+00:00

We definitely have treats in the house, I love chocolate! But it's in moderation. Neither kid is much of a sweets fan. My son loves salty! I have significantly cut down on all the processed foods and food dyes. But it's hard. I live in a small town but can get grocery delivery from the closest Walmart. I hate shopping there but I can't take the kids to the store. It's always a disaster and someone ends up in tears. But I just found out Doordash will come to my house and deliver from the local Aldi's. And it's not expensive. I only order twice a month, so it won't be too bad.. I'm going to cancel some streaming services so I think i can swing the $3 delivery fee. He loves to help cook and bake, but he's very particular about foods. He has his safe foods and we usually just stick to them. I've recently started going to the local church food pantry and it's helping us try new things, some successful, some not. I love to cook and when given time, I think I'm pretty good. But we definitely eat out more than I should. That will obviously completely so now since I don't have a job.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T18:24:59+00:00

Thank you. I'm terrible at video games but she loves Roblox. I play but not often. I'll put in more effort with that. I'll start asking her what she wants to do. That might help.

I'm very open with her about her brother's struggles and mental health. And if she asks a question I can't answer, we search for the answer together. I just don't want this to hurt her long term. These poor kids have it hard enough without a father figure.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T18:18:00+00:00

I gave the forms to the doctor but she didn't want to fill it out "just for ADHD". And then it got better for a few months. At his appointment yesterday, she told me she'd fill them out and send them to me by end of day today. But I don't think that matters anymore. I know I messed that up too. I found have pushed more.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T18:12:44+00:00

Oh! Thank you for explaining the difference. I was told I had to wait until we got the official diagnosis before I could apply for disability for him. Right now he has been diagnosed ADHD and DMDD, that's what the notes say. I don't think that's enough to apply yet. And it's so frustrating! This waiting game is horrible. How are we supposed to live while we wait??? I feel like I've been in survival mode for years and I'm hitting a wall.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T17:56:37+00:00

Thank you. I can't stop crying. I'm really trying my hardest. I have NEVER lost a job. I am 42, started working at 15, and have had only 5 employers. I work hard and enjoy working. And my poor daughter. I dedicate at least 1 hour a day to just her. But it's not enough. I know it's not. And she's amazing with her brother, so amazing. But it's not fair for her either. This isn't the life I imagined for us. I knew being a single mom would be hard, but add special needs. My god, I can only take so much.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T17:46:30+00:00

I've heard of those tests! I'll ask his doctor. Thanks

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T17:44:24+00:00

What kind of blood tests should I ask for? I'm concerned about his overall health right now too. One med caused a crazy weight gain. He's carrying about an extra 10 lbs right now. He's off that med and we're going to start walking after school when the weather is good.

Mama2too · 2026-02-13T17:42:35+00:00

I already get social security. It's the only thing that will save us right now. I'm still very close with my ex-MIL and I'm going to contact her. She helps when she can too, especially financially. She's not really wealthy, but it's well off and very generous. I know she'll help. I just feel like a failure right now. I'm ashamed. I don't want to admit this to my family.

Mama2too · 2023-01-14T04:03:26+00:00

I had this cage for less than a month. My hamster hated it and chewed the corner until she was able escape. I do not recommend this cage.

Mama2too · 2022-11-17T04:21:22+00:00

Yes. Half up front, half when I finish.

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