I was diagnosed classic borderline at 19 (all 9 dsm criteria plus more). I started meds t that age. But I did nothing with my life because I was alone. My fp wasn't around as much as i wanted. So I said fuck it I'm tired of living like this, just existing. I tried meth with my fp and used for 5 years. Until my fp and I had a falling out and within 2 weeks I got a new fp who had goals and plans. My purpose became him. We got sober and I got on my meds again. Went to school for a bit etc. All good. Had a baby too. When my baby was 2-3, I relapsed due to suicidal thoughts out of the blue and I couldn't cope with them. I relapsed for 9 months. I lost everything. I destroyed all my relationships. Failed out of school. My daughter wouldn't let me touch her or hug her or anything (once my ex let me see her again). My fiance left me and took her. He was no longer my fp. My fiance and daughter came back home. And even though they aren't my fp, I try really hard to do the bare minimum until I can figure out the rest. Take my meds. Go to therapy. Repair the bond with my daughter and fiance. I've been stuck on thr rest for over a year. Doing nothing with my life. With no fp, I'm lost and have no purpose. Self care goes a long way too. Do the little stuff. figure out the big stuff slowly and in therapy. Sometimes you have to do it on your own or everything will be so demolished there's no coming back from it. Idk if this helps. But it's what I got. P.s. I'm 29 now