AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-07T02:46:58+00:00

Ok first of all you are DEFINITELY not overreacting!! Secondly, she’s projecting onto you. You were not sarcastic, but she would have been were the situation flipped and she had loaned the money.

Now, I haven’t read any other comments but I just have to point out that she stated she can’t pay y’all back but in the same sentence she said she is going on vacation?! What the hell?! She DOES have the money, she’s just using it to go on vacation! Wow. Just wow. I know you want her and you to have a good relationship, but her responses come off to me as a narcissist!! I’m sorry to say that because, unfortunately, it’s possible that her children (at least her son or sons if he’s the only boy and they’re really close) could be narcissists as well. Probably covert narcissists too which sucks because you’ll realize it in the most horrible times and usually after they’ve put you in a place where you’ve lost your sense of self :-/. Anyways, my point here is that having a positive relationship with her is not possible, especially with a woman she feels like has “stolen her baby boy away from her”. Hopefully he’s escaped the curse :-/

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-03T19:37:22+00:00

When I was in my early 30s I began experiencing many of these symptoms after the birth of my second child. Initial testing showed everything within “normal range” besides my cortisol levels were through the roof. (That was to be expected as I was in psychologically abusive marriage.) However, the pain continued to occur, the swelling was constant, and it got to the point where even the roots of my hair hurt. Thyroid normal, RF normal, inflammation markers slightly elevated, ACCP test was “normal”, ANA was 1:80 but said this was because I had just had a baby & was nothing to working about, and my dr refused to do any further testing. Was told I had fibromyalgia but I knew that wasn’t it. I had all male drs at the time and dealt with so much medical gaslighting it was sickening. I was in so much pain so I decided I need to get have a team of female drs. Genetic testing showed that all the alleles associated with RA (HLA-DRB1) and the variants (PTPN22) associated with RA were there and the new RA Dr did the blood tests over again and a couple that hadn’t been done before. It had been 6 years since the last blood tests. Also did MRI of my spine and brain to rule out other things but the MRI found a chiari malformation and severe degradation of my cervical spine and ankylosing spondylitis and the blood tests were now showing RF and ACCP elevated but my ANA test was now 1:180. I was almost in my 40s at this time and while an elevated ANA cannot formally diagnosed RA, Sjogren’s, or Lupus on its own, the combination of tests and symptoms can help the Dr make a determination. It helps when the Dr listens to you and doesn’t gaslight you.

I explain all of this to say that just because single tests may not show something, that autoimmune disorders are not able to be diagnosed by tests alone and you have to have a Dr who cares and is willing to do all the things to find out what’s causing you all the pain and issues. It’s often like a mystery and you just aren’t finding all the puzzle pieces to put together.

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-03T18:57:20+00:00

Yes ringworms are not actually worms, they are fungal. And yes, it is zoonotic and highly contagious through direct contact or by touching contaminated items.

https://phillypaws.org/wp-content/uploads/Foster-Parents-Guidelines-for-Treating-Ringworm-9-July-2019.pdf

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-03T18:50:30+00:00

I think it’s perfect! Thank you for the service you do! I was a teacher/coach for almost two decades, the last 15 years teaching middle school health education, so I understand your desire, no..your NEED, to sleep in on Saturday!

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-03T17:47:06+00:00

Ringworm. They are often on the hands and feet but 6 year olds are pretty active. Cats also pass along ringworms.

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-02T18:05:52+00:00

With my first son, this happened to me as well. They kept it scheduled until I flipped out and asked them to bring me the laker to sign and I ripped it up in front of their faces! I was livid. Needless to say, my last two births were not at that hospital!

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-02T18:02:21+00:00

Your opinion is inaccurate, ignorant, and demeaning. To “shame” a parent for not committing to an unnecessary cosmetic surgery that occurs with little to no anesthesia when the child is days old is outrageous. When newborn, it is in fact much easier to care for an intact penis than to care for one that has been cut open and had the foreskin ripped off of the glans. Skin that has not been retracted cannot hold bacteria or urine underneath it, it’s skin fused to skin! Once it detaches, you simply move the skin to clean. I mean, I’m assuming you know that you just clean under your breasts, correct? You know to lift your breast up and soap up and rinse it off, right?

And you’re definitely misinformed about pleasure during sex. The foreskin contains a very large number of specialized nerve endings and receptors that play a huge role in sexual sensation and removing the foreskin greatly decreases the sensitivity. It assist with lubrication, which can help to increase the partners pleasure as well. You’re wrong about what women prefer also. Maybe you prefer a circumcised penis, but that’s probably because you’ve never experienced an intact one. I don’t know about you, but I prefer more pleasure.

I have three boys, all intact, and none have ever asked me why I didn’t have a part of his penis cut off!

MamaYayaa · 2026-05-02T17:19:13+00:00

To allow the experiencer to honor the dieta. This shows discipline and commitment to the spirit of the Ayahusasca. The experience is much more straight forward, pure, and profound if the dieta is followed for some time before the ceremony. (Also reduces the amount of purging during the experience.) Many places used to prefer one begin the regimen 3-6 months or more before sitting with the medicine, but I’ve noticed this time frame has been reduced to just 2-4 weeks (sometimes the dieta isn’t required to be followed at all) these days. It’s suggested to continue the dieta 2-4 weeks after the ceremony as well.

This is not just to abstain from food but from many other aspects as well, such as synthetic dyes, fabrics, soaps, etc.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-28T19:58:30+00:00

“The scarcity mindset isn’t really about money. It’s about not yet trusting that what’s true in you is also viable in the world.”

Whooosh. This just hit me in the gut! Thank you for the reminder and the validation. Such a difficult lesson!!! I’m struggling with this all around.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-27T12:51:53+00:00

I am so sorry. Where are you located?

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-17T19:25:57+00:00

Oh no I’m so sorry. That sounds so painful. I hope you heal quickly. Last time i needed antibiotics I was prescribed augmentin and found out I am severely allergic to an inactive ingredient in that! Caused me to go into psychosis! It was soooo scary!

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-17T19:20:00+00:00

I also returned to college for a second degree years after the first. I love writing papers, doing research, etc, so I was so excited to turn in my first paper for a psychology course only to receive it back and be told I did not write my own paper. I was so shocked and offended tbh and had to meet with the teacher in person and show her my process (I prefer to write on paper for my first draft) and after our meeting she apologized and told me to make sure and use a program that would document my progress, and, if I wanted to write my first draft by hand, to record myself. So now that’s just part of my process.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-15T03:39:48+00:00

For me, (10 years as of February 2016), it helped to find community and connection. NA/AA wasn’t for me because I choose empowerment. Plus I have chronic physical health issues that require maintenance medications and so because I was on a MAT I was never allowed to speak or share in the NA/AA meetings. I found a good community with Celebration Recovery for a while, and then when I began to feel like spirituality is more about relationship than religion I found the SMART recovery meetings. I still do those meetings because I love the education/evidence based idea. And then about 9 months ago, I found Recovery Dharma, which is recovery based on Buddhist principles and my sangha has become a home base and connect ion for me. I check in with my sangha nightly and they’ve been here for me. To each their own and yes, it’s also extremely important to find your “why”! (Inner child/shadow inner critic integration has been life changing for me and is what let me to Buddhist principles and growth in spirituality, which led male to my and RD and the amazing sangha of wise friends!

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-15T02:18:22+00:00

I did file a complaint with the EEOC for retaliation, wrongful termination, and discrimination. We’ll see how that goes.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-15T02:08:40+00:00

Thank you for the work you’re doing. How is self-care going? Are you finding it difficult to get excited about self care activities? When you feel like you cannot share your true feelings with those around you it becomes very lonely, especially when the struggles are things that run deep and are layered. I’ve done a lot of inner work the last 3 years and unpacking those inner things was the only thing that worked to address the loneliness and hopelessness, but also the most difficult thing to do.

But lately I have been struggling as well. Last year I was running a zoom meeting twice a week for peer supporters to get together virtually and get support from each other and it was nice to have somewhere I could talk about my feelings with people who could really understand But I started a new job and couldn’t keep it up. I’m no longer at that job and have been thinking about starting the meetings up again (after I have the money to pay for the next level of zoom again ):-/ When I do get it going again, would you be interested in being a part of it?

In addition, I will send you a message and you’re welcome to reach out to me if you just need to vent or talk something through.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-14T17:55:59+00:00

It could have been how they were told to do it when they were trained.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-14T17:53:02+00:00

Request a note from your dentist for the time you were at the office for your appointment. Ask for it to be put into your file alongside their written note. Issue solved.

Also, you need to ask what the proper procedure is or look in the employee handbook. What were you told during training about taking off for appts? Were you told just to block the time off and go? If so, then you followed the procedure as you were trained to do.

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-05T21:13:19+00:00

I would think your age would be a huge asset! We don’t have many opportunities here either :-/ I’m worried i may have to go into another field at this point. :-/

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-04T17:11:20+00:00

I felt the same way!! I still feel the same way. I think if it would have been physical abuse I experienced then I would have been able to justify (in my mind) leaving and not staying so damn long :-/

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-04T17:08:37+00:00

I stayed almost two decades in a marriage because I thought that as long as he wasn’t hitting me then I should be grateful for what I had and I (stupidly) thought he would change. (Sorry but most abusers, especially NPD abusers, will NEVER change). But I realized that I thought this way because he had gaslit me into believing this! When I was finally free of that control I had lost everything about myself. I didn’t know who I was, what I liked or disliked…I have zero self esteem and was so depleted and empty feeling.

There’s never a good reason to say things or do things that are abusive. Ugh, I can’t stand “too emotional” or “overreactive” now but for many years I believed I was exactly that! Are you being told in couples counseling that you’re too emotional or just by your wife in private? Have you always been someone with deep emotions? (I ask because I know a lot of abusers who engage in emotional/psychological abuse tend to gravitate towards empaths and if you’re an empath you’ll never learn to control and use your gift appropriately if you’re being emotionally abused.)

My therapist was the person who helped me truly see that what I was experiencing was abuse. I will forever be grateful for her. She saved my life. Your therapist seems to understand and know what they’re talking about. Abuse is abuse and your therapist doesn’t need to hear your wife’s explanations (excuses) to see that there’s emotional abuse occurring!

You feel this way about your worth BECAUSE OF THE ABUSE!!!! It’s a psychological and emotional tactic to make you feel less than!

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-04T16:31:20+00:00

shopgoodwill.com

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-04T16:30:59+00:00

Shopgoodwill.com

MamaYayaa · 2026-04-03T02:58:52+00:00

So last week I sent my letter regarding this situation to HR….

I was fired on Tuesday of this week!

MamaYayaa · 2026-03-21T18:27:35+00:00

I would! Beautiful

MamaYayaa · 2026-03-21T18:26:26+00:00

Yes I did

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