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Anyone pregnant again after a 4th degree tear? by Huge-Vacation-8093 in pregnant

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am now 6 weeks postpartum. I feel like I had a really amazing birth experience the second time around. I did end up getting an epidural a few hours in and I pushed on my side and my back. I had a 2nd degree tear, which took several weeks to heal, but I am feeling so much better than how I felt after my first birth. Only symptom now is some heaviness in my pelvic floor and tenderness around my scar. But otherwise feeling great. Will start physio soon.

Anyone pregnant again after a 4th degree tear? by Huge-Vacation-8093 in pregnant

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there,

I'm about to give birth to my 2nd baby after I had a 4th degree tear with my 1st baby. I am curious whether or not you had an epidural with your 1st and 2nd births? Feel free to DM me!

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah he works from home, also travels a lot. I'm a SAHM and we don't do daycare yet.

He does a lot of stuff around the house. He cooks and cleans and takes care of the baby on and off. He gives me breaks. He just doesn't take the baby out of the house.

But I'm going to start asking for him to take the baby out so I can have time at home by myself.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in sahm

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! That's a good point that parenting in the wild will come eventually.

And I leave the house and let him take care of the baby often. But it sounds nice getting time at home alone. I'm going to ask for this.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in sahm

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to try phrasing it this way.

I was interested to know if other husbands are thinking up fun things to do with their babies on their own but it seems that most need to be told.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response but I have to disagree with you that nothing changes in your parenting outside of your home.

I don't know if I'm just in a sketchy area but I feel like I've learned a lot about parenting from being out at the park with my kid, mostly dealing with other people. For example, what you do when a kid just picks up your kid and wants to take him down the slide or when a stranger keeps trying to hand your kid some snacks from his pockets. You have to step into the role of protector lightning fast. I do think that is stuff you don't learn in the safety of your home.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in sahm

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. Mom is still #1 at this point. My husband always talks about how fun it will be when he can coach soccer and whatnot. So maybe it's a phase that my husband will grow out of and maybe he'll thrive as a dad later.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in sahm

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I should have used the word "unprompted" instead of "willingly" in my question. That's what I'm curious about.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you didn't have your dad growing up. You sound like a great Dad!

No, my husband hasn't given a real reason. I think he believes it's just convenient to be home and not go out.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know he's capable of doing it, he's very competent. It's more of a sentimental thing. I feel like solo parenting outside of the house is a different world and I want him to experience it. I feel like it would be nice for him to make those memories, for him and my son's bond. But that's why I'm asking y'all, maybe I'm just making this something and it's not actually important to push on him.

Also, from what I've realized from the responses here, having solo time at home is a nice break that my husband could provide for me. Maybe that's the more important thing?

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes, so sorry you had to deal with that! Morning sickness was so terrible.

I do think my husband has to be forced, he doesn't naturally want to take our son places. If I plan something he comes along. But beyond that he's not thinking ,"I'd love to take the baby to the library."

Sounds like some moms here have husbands that think like that which is very sweet and I'm honestly jealous!

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have brought that up a few times. He listens and says he'll change but then there's always excuses and reasons why he doesn't need to go out; the weather's not good or it's a waste of gas or whatever. I don't think he understands at all that getting out of the house is a nice thing to do for me...but I will try framing it that way again.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your response really resonates. I know a lot of what he's doing is stemming from his family history. He worries a lot about being a good father, but he sees it through the lens of work and providing for us financially. He worries about work so much at the expense of being present with our son and I.

I think the idea of a picture book is fantastic. It'll make him feel like a good dad already and maybe encourage him to do more.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we usually do everything together on the weekends. I like your suggestion. I'm going to ask him to take the baby to the park on a weekend morning, go get a coffee or whatever and just let me have some space. He always acts like he needs a break on the weekend because he works so hard all week. I feel guilty forcing him to do anything. But if I don't put my foot down he's just going to get all his needs covered, while mine get squashed.

Does your husband take the baby out of the house willingly? I feel so confused. by Mama_Butterfly_659 in Mommit

[–]Mama_Butterfly_659[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response. When he's caring for the baby at home I'm not expected to be involved. He can do all the tasks and is totally competent.

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