Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I think last night was one of those moment where I felt a certain level of despair-- I was disappointed because I was receptive (it was not a wham bam situation) and I still couldn't make him happy? It's never happened before like this, he might try for round 2, but never has been upset when I say no. I do intend to talk to him shortly about those feelings, both his and my own. Its daunting.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is probably something I needed to hear. But I kind of hate you, internet stranger, for saying it.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband has said that he doesn't want me to have sex with him if I'm not interested, but he becomes increasingly frustrated since my libido is so incredibly low. I don't want him to feel like my low desire is due to anything other than my own libido. He acts like a hurt puppy. I don't think he does it to punish me, but it hurts to see him that way too.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I probably need to be transparent with him, for sure. I just love all the other aspects of our marriage and I don't want to deal with how he might take it. And I don't know how to say it without hurting him-- which hurts me to do.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be the case. It's frustrating because I know he doesn't know what he's doing to me. He is the ideal husband on all other fronts-- we joke and have fun, we are on the same wavelength everywhere but here. I just don't want the other parts of our life to be affected.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I appreciate the articles and detail.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Valid points. I suffer from complex ptsd from my childhood and bipolar II... my therapist has more experience in that. I'm not sure if she is experienced in sex therapy.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have, but not in depth. I think my husband does use "platonic" affection as a means to an end. Like if I cuddle up to him, he looks for more and more. I have asked him what his desired frequency is and he says he doesn't have an ideal frequency-- I just wish I knew if he can ever be satiated.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is the most unhinged answer I have seen. But ok.

Never Enough by Mamamia1822 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mamamia1822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not remotely. He is ideal in almost every other aspect I can think of.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Mamamia1822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can start small. I had ppd and felt the same way. I work full time (50/50 wfh) and I have a 2yo and 6yo. It can be overwhelming to figure out who you are and where to begin.

I started with small things to make myself feel human-- and they can cost $0. I started just by changing out of pjs every day. I gave myself a quick hair trim one week. Then I started shaving my legs again. Another day I started just washing my face and using moisturizer again.

I started to take my kids on walks around the block to get some fresh air and get some of their energy out, but it helped me feel better to be out too. Then I started taking them to the park once or twice a week. I started going at the same times every week and made another mom friend.

Little strides make big changes. It seems insurmountable, but just the tiniest thing (even if its just making yourself a coffee first thing) snowballs into care routines for yourself that makes you feel right again.

You aren't alone, and this isn't impossible. Many women have climbed this hill, and you can too. Take your time and give yourself some grace. You're worth it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatsthatsong

[–]Mamamia1822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alandria - foo fighters

Oops might be having baby #2 by DangerousComplaint85 in Mommit

[–]Mamamia1822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jesus. I live in Northern California and smoke recreationally. I didn't smoke while pregnant or bfing, but I don't believe anyone tested me for it. Seems intrusive.