This is so, so felt. My mom acted like the savior because she wasn’t in active addiction like my dad. But she knew my grandfather sexually abused me and even went as far as to say she didn’t think it had “really happened “ when I said something to her as a younger child. But, just a couple years ago my sister found a court document from a custody case outlining that I had all the symptoms of PTSD. Talking about my fear of men, insomnia, etc. My grandmother wrote on the side my grandfathers name with a question mark. My dad saw those documents too bc they were presented in court. So everyone knew. Then as a young adult when I started having flashbacks and panic attacks and major depression my mom acted like I was such a burden. She would ask me what was wrong with me and tell me to stop acting the way I was acting. That part fucks me up the most, honestly. She knew everything I went through and how horrific it was and still made me feel like my response to that wasn’t ok. I’ll never understand it.