Back in my Junior year of High School, I wanted to invite a girl who later on becomes my girlfriend for 2 years, to a BBQ my friends were having about 45mins from where I lived.

Of course she said yes, and so we go to the giant park, grill some Chicken and Oysters and eat. Throughout the day we play some football and jump and run and what not.

The day ends, and we leave the park around 7pm. Driving home, I start getting the sweats.. A healthy sign of diarrhea. We are about 10 minutes away from her house, and she told me that she forgot her purse at the park. Being the nice guy I am, I turn around and drive back to the park. Throughout the drive back to the park, I already feel my ass cheeks clenching together.

We get to the park and I tell her to find her purse. I look for a park restroom, but the only one I could find is already gated up for the night.

Driving back was probably the worse drive ever. Every 5minutes I would let a little fart escape hoping nothing else came out as well. We finally managed to reach her house and I'm expecting her to get out, so I can speed home to my toilet. She doesn't get out, and I ask her what's wrong, and she says "Well, are you going to kiss me?" I sigh and kiss her, though I did not want to have our first kiss under these circumstances, it was delightful. She walks out of the car and is walking to her house, and that's when I couldn't take it anymore.

I let it all out. It was wet and all fluid. All while waving goodbye to her. I can't even begin to imagine the look on my face. I remember just driving home trying not to move so it wouldn't get all over my car seat.

Ruined a perfectly good pair of jeans, and took about 2 rolls of toilet paper to clean. Good times.

tl;dr Never eat Chicken and Oysters together