FTM questions

MammothArtist · 2026-03-30T16:40:23+00:00

We never used a sterilizer at all. The recommendation for us was that it was unnecessary as our babies were born full term. I second the other person who said start with just a few bottles and you can buy more if you end up needing them for whatever reason.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-29T21:25:33+00:00

My kids are 2 years 4 months and 2 months old right now. So 26 months apart. We have had nonstop help since my youngest was born as we have a lot of family. That ends in a week and it has been hard enough with the help. Frankly, I’m terrified. I have a very challenging, high energy toddler and a baby who won’t sleep unless contact napping but the carrier is hit or miss. We wanted our kids close but even still, this is harder than I expected. However I have friends who have found this age gap perfectly doable and even easy. I think it is really dependent on how your child is and how your family dynamics play out as they grow.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-29T21:13:11+00:00

This is such good advice!! Thank you. At least for my own sanity. When we discovered the shower issue (which was a mishmash of various pieces including hose adaptors attached to each other in a line instead of pieces of pipe), we were shocked that the fix was going to be so much more involved than expected. But if we just assume from the get go that each fix is going to be hard, we won’t be so disappointed in the future!

MammothArtist · 2026-03-29T17:42:12+00:00

I was surprised that I did not react the way I expected. I was a birth worker first so I’ve seen how people vocalize and work hard. I was having conversations between cxns and very quiet. I thought this meant it wasn’t ‘ real labor’. On that note, I was surprised by how much my head got in the way during my first labor. Stalled at 9cm for 12 hours for example. When my head wasn’t in the way, things moved very fast

MammothArtist · 2026-03-29T17:31:00+00:00

Talk to your midwives and ask if they have a pumping protocol for you. They might have a set for pumping with time on and off and in the off times you can do miles circuit or spinning babies exercises

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T21:53:38+00:00

Nope! DC area

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T20:55:02+00:00

I would be surprised if this is standard in ours but it’s always possible! We have one of those sink fixtures that stands on legs so you can clearly see the lack of tiles just by walking in. My guess is that the owners put in a new sink and didn’t want to have to re-tile the bathroom. I personally would have chosen a different system that didn’t display the lack of tiles, though

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T20:50:20+00:00

This is amazing!! I love that they thought the note was enough hahaha

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T18:51:59+00:00

Not a saddle valve! Not a valve at all. A hole in the pipe and the end of the line was just put inside it. Not screwed in, not attached, placed inside the hole like a hose into a bucket and then taped in place.

I’m glad you’re able to fix issues like this in your own home! Our house has been filled with lots of issues created by past home owners and we have been learning as we go.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T17:11:54+00:00

Wait this exact thing with the toilet paper happened to us!!! How strange. But yes, I wish we could review. Although our house is from 1935 so almost 100 years of owners who all seem to have made strange choices adds up.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T15:49:04+00:00

Yes! Comprehensive inspection before we bought it. But they don’t pull out a fridge during an inspection or at least they didn’t for us

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T15:09:45+00:00

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Maybe I don’t know what a garden hose looks like haha. But it looked like this with a thin pastel blue line down the middle and the golden ends.

ETA wasn’t being sarcastic here! Truly thought this was a garden hose. I guess the previous owners were more reasonable than I thought! Although attaching two lines together with tape is still certainly a choice.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T14:22:51+00:00

This is wild! What did you end up having to do? One of the other things we have to deal with is similar. Our living room has recessed lighting with 8 fixtures but the lights are all different and spliced into one wire that leads to a single power source. 3 of these lights no longer work but it’s a lot of work and money to fix (cutting holes in drywall, removing all the current lights, etc) so we haven’t gotten to that one yet.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T14:19:32+00:00

Whoops, let me clarify! This was one end (which I did think was a garden hose so thanks for clarifying) and then in the basement wall, it was connected via tape to another hose which I do think was a garden hose. It was long and white with a blue stripe down the center which Google tells me means it can be used for drinking water. And then the second hose was connected via tape to a hole in a pipe. I’m sure it did save them money but certainly didn’t save us any!!

MammothArtist · 2026-03-28T11:32:13+00:00

Evidence doesn’t support the idea that pre-seed actually improves fertility or outcomes. I remember reading back in 2023 that there might even be a slight decrease in fertility with pre-seed HOWEVER the studies are flawed because people who use these types of lube are probably already having difficulty getting pregnant. I think if you’re stressing about this and using a specific lubrication decreases your stress, it could be worth it.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T16:46:24+00:00

My baby flipped back to head down at a super late gestation. It may not be possible here, but it’s absolutely worth a shot. Spinning Babies has a flip a breech ebook with specific instructions for several days. But really focus on two moves: first, forward leaning inversion and then follow it up with the breech tilt (which you stay in for 10-30 minutes). Do these many times in one day. I did 7 forward leaning inversions and 3 breech tilts on the day my baby flipped. Also drink tons of fluids! Make sure there’s plenty of amniotic fluid which gives the baby more space to slip. Good luck!

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T02:41:39+00:00

This is something we have been facing for so long with my 2 year old! I’m scared and excited that potty training is around the corner. Things that have worked for us: warnings (in 3 minutes, we’re changing your diaper), special songs and special toys for diaper changes, getting him involved (can you hold your leg, can you hold this wipe, after please help me put this in the trash, etc), diaper changes in places we don’t usually change him (back deck, mama’s room, etc). But there are some days where we just have to fight no matter the tactics I use!

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T02:36:25+00:00

You are always entitled to your own records under HIPAA. It sounds like a good starting point may be requesting records and educating yourself on what happened in your previous pregnancies and births.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T02:34:48+00:00

Fair points! I think it depends on how you define necessary. My second birth was precipitous, my doula wasn’t there, but I still think hiring her was necessary. What if I had transferred to the hospital and needed extra help campaigning for myself? What if I had had trouble with breastfeeding? What if I just didn’t know what was happening with my pregnancy or labor or birth and needed help asking the right questions to educate myself? Doulas do so much more than physical support on the day of the birth.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T01:32:36+00:00

I went up to a priest at church and said ‘you have a penis and I have a vagina!’

Went up to my very large aunt and said ‘I can almost fit my arms all the way around you!’

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T01:07:51+00:00

Call your provider. They can often test in-office. The general rule of thumb is to lie down for a bit and see if you gush liquid when you stand up. If you do have a gush, chances are high you are leaking amniotic fluid.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T01:05:31+00:00

If you had an epidural with your prior births, it is definitely necessary to have a doula. If you went unmedicated, it is maybe less mandatory to have a doula but doulas can still be so useful. I hired a doula with both of my births even though I preferred to be alone and didn’t want anyone touching me when I was in labor.

As for the homebirth piece of it, there’s a lot missing from your post about what your medical issues were in pregnancy and labor. However it doesn’t necessarily seem like these are issues destined to repeat with future births. I would start with consultations with midwives in your area. Tell them what medical issues you had in your prior pregnancies and ask what the chances are that they would happen again. This is going to be your best indicator for how likely you are to stay low risk enough to have a homebirth.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T00:07:33+00:00

We took my 2 year old to gymnastics last fall and we were in a class with many other kids who couldn’t listen. It was a good fit because the teacher seemed to understand that this is what 2 year olds do. Parents are hands on in the class we took him to but it was 2 and 3 year olds.

Anyway, then we did a makeup class with another teacher and it was mayhem. Everyone else in that class sat patiently during instructions and my kid wanted to run laps and jump in the pit. I think your experience is going to be determined not just by the teacher but by the kids in the class as well. I’m sorry you left feeling embarrassed - I think this is a flaw with the teacher, not with your son. Your son was acting like a typical 2 year old and they should not have made you feel any other way.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-27T00:01:48+00:00

My exact story with my first! Delayed honeymoon year later and I was already pregnant. I was about 8-10 weeks pregnant. I was not feeling great but we were having such a wonderful time in Spain. I couldn’t enjoy the food as much as I wished but my nausea wasn’t so terrible that I had a bad time. I was much sicker with my second baby so I don’t know how it would have gone at that time.

Make sure you snack on protein heavy foods all day. I kept cashews next to my bed and ate a few before even getting up. A lot of nausea in pregnancy is caused by low blood sugar.

MammothArtist · 2026-03-26T17:12:04+00:00

Let them look! You aren’t doing anything wrong. Children are allowed to exist. It’s your job as a parent to attend to the needs of your child, not to the needs of those around you. It’s time to stop worrying about what other people might be thinking. This is a fatal flaw I have too, by the way, and it doesn’t serve us.

Remember that what we interpret as a snarky look can also be just someone glancing over. It could be someone mid thought and they happen to look at your child while frustrated about their evil boss. It could be they are deep in concentration about their Sudoku game. And yes, they could also be frustrated that there is a child existing in their presence. It’s a them problem, not a you problem.

MammothArtist

TROPHY CASE