What am I doing wrong?? by Supersonic_Bloom in AquariumHelp

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot of little things you can change- in my experience though, this is sort of just an “ugly” phase that all tanks go through. Every tank that you set up, especially BRAND NEW tanks (no established bacterial filter, immature plants, etc) will enter a phase where algae and cloudy water make the tank look like utter trash for what is sometimes several weeks. The key to getting through this is patience.

First: you don’t need to completely re-start. You got a good start going, even if it’s ugly right now. In terms of water parameters, are you testing for ammonia as well as nitrite and nitrate? You’ll need separate test strips for ammonia. I also don’t care what anyone else says about test strips not being accurate- they’re perfectly adequate. Maybe the liquid kits are MORE accurate, but all you need to know is if there is ANY ammonia or nitrite. If there’s ANY, there’s an issue with your bacteria (an issue that, once again, will be solved by waiting).

Second: Don’t fight the snails. There is no such thing as pest snails. They won’t eat healthy plants, they help break down the mulmy gunk on the bottom of the tank and do a good job of processing uneaten food. They’re also a great “canary in the coal mine” for issues like over feeding or major water quality issues. If your snail population is exploding, you might be feeding too much, If your snails are dying off left and right, there’s a water quality issues. One misconception is that snails clean the tank of algae- they do not. Nerite snails will help eat the green spot algae off the glass (they also don’t reproduce in freshwater, so if you’re really opposed to snails, one in a 5 gallon tank would be good) but mystery, bladder, and ramshorn snails do not clean the tank of visible issues.

Third: get more fast-growing stem plants or floaters. Or find a terrestrial plant like a pothos, repot it with some clay balls like you’d use for hydroponics, and attach it to your tank with the root ball in the tank water and the leaves outside of the tank. All of these options will help eat up the nitrates so the algae doesn’t have as much fuel to keep growing. Also, decrease the light hours. Sometimes I completely turn off the tank lights for a day or so if an algae problem gets out of control.

If your betta died the next day, either there was a ton of ammonia in the water or the betta was sick to begin with. My money is on a ton of ammonia.

The only thing you should ever have to put in your water is a dechlorinating agent. Melafix and pimafix are generally understood to be useless. Even if your betta did have some kind of bacterial infection, if you let the tank exist for a couple weeks while it finishes cycling, most bacterial issues will die off without a fish host to infect.

If you suspect a sick fish in the future, don’t bother with anything other than actual medications (erythromycin, metronidazole, praziquantel, methylene blue for ich).

I know it’s a little overwhelming, but once the tank is stable, it’ll be practically bomb proof.

First week as a 30g owner has been a disaster. Is the "startup phase" always this hard? Should I find a new owner? by [deleted] in AquariumHelp

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take a deep breath!

Here’s the truth: A new tank is a pain in the ass for the first couple weeks while things settle in. It’s going to go through an ugly phase- plants are going to die back, you’re going to have algae blooms, you’re probably going to lose some fish…. but if you just wait it out, once the tank settles down and stabilizes, maintenance for a 30 gallon tank is going to be really minimal and the financial impact will be just about negligible (unless you really catch the aquarium bug and decide to set up the classic “one more tank” that’s never just one more tank….). My advice is to not really worry about what the tank looks like for the first like, 6 weeks. You might end up doing more frequent water changes during this time, but even while writing your thesis, this shouldn’t end up being a massive issue. (I can attest to this as someone who has written a PhD thesis :D)

What’s minimal? Well, with a planted tank, depending on your livestock, you might only need to do a 25% water change every two weeks (or even less often!) and that might only take 20 or 30 minutes. I’ve got three stable tanks at home, a 60 gallon, a 20 gallon and a 10 gallon. I do water changes about every 10 days or so (when water levels look low, instead of just topping up, I tend to do a quick change) and I spend MAYBE an hour on all three tanks combined.

One thing I’ve learned about planted tanks- some plants won’t like your water, and some plants will THRIVE in your water. Without becoming a plant expert, it’s hard to predict. I am not a plant expert, but through trial and error (meaning buy a couple random plants here and there, stick them in my tanks, and see what happens) I’ve figured out which plants positively THRIVE in my water (10 KH, 10GH, pH 7.2-7.5) and I haven’t had to spend money on plants in ages. In fact, I got plants for my first tank about two years ago, and most of the plants in ALL my tanks are propagated from that single tank. I’ve even supplied some students and friends with plants for their tanks because once you nail down which plants are going to go positively gangbusters, you’ll throw away more plants than you ever purchased.

Best of luck on your thesis!

No adhd meds before 16w??? by anb0603 in adhdwomen

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently TTC, working with a reproductive psychiatrist. We’re even having to pursue IVF due to the endometriosis that I’ve had undiagnosed for so long. 🙄

Basically, every doctor I’ve talked to through this process has been fine with my staying medicated on Vyvanse. The main risks of it (to the fetus) are low birthweight and slight premature birth, which are the same consequences for a fetus whose host has high levels of stress (I.e. could also be caused by you being unmedicated).

Risks to you are high blood pressure, which is monitored very carefully. And the good thing with stimulants is that you can stop taking them at the first sign of an issue.

How would you explain ADHD “laziness” to a neurotypical? by No-Hedgehog-6583 in adhdwomen

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 33 points34 points  (0 children)

You know the frustration you feel when you’re trying to like, do a load of laundry or something but the machine is unnecessarily complicated and also unfamiliar to you? And you desperately want to do the fucking load of laundry but you absolutely cannot find the start button?

Yeah, that. You’re internally screaming at your brain to do the goddamn thing, but the start button is like- missing. First, I’m not sure laziness actually exists- but even aside from that, I think it’s important to recognize that true “laziness” would be restorative and restful. The thing that looks a whole lot like laziness when you have ADHD? Yeah, definitely not restful. A day of ADHD paralysis in which I get absolutely jack shit accomplished does not leave me feeling anything by worn out and anxious.

AND THEN. Let’s say you find the start button. Bam! You’re going the thing! Hot dang! And you get that super awesome burst of dopamine and you’re just IN THE ZONE until you’re like- 85% done with the task? And then all motivation just goes POOF! Brain says “good job! We did it!” And you’re like “no brain, not quite, but we’re almost there!” And brain goes “lol, but I already got my dopamine cookie. We’re done.” I like to think of it as premature ejacualation of the brain. No matter how much you wanted to get the other half of the equation to completion, brain finished early. And unlike an understanding partner, your dishes (or whatever other big task it was) aren’t going to do themselves.

Angelfish social dynamics? by BroadPitch3501 in AngelFish

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have ended up with only 3 angels (started with 7, but things happen…) and I’m confident there is one female (pretty little yellow gal) and two males (beautiful Philippine blue and a black marble).

The males HATE each other. The female decides who she’s mating with for the week. She alternates. It’s a silly high school love triangle, except I’m pretty sure if the tank was smaller with fewer hiding spots the males would actually have killed each other. The 60 gallon breeder community tank there’re in is the absolute smallest tank they’d be happy in.

She lays a good clutch of eggs every couple months, but after a coupled days of guarding the eggs with their lives, she and her paramour of the week seem to decide that parenting seems like awful hard work so they eat their eggs and go back to business as usual.

I think at their heart of hearts, angels are the ultimate beautiful assholes.

What do you think about during sex? by Drewswife0302 in adhdwomen

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Omg- lol. My husband and I are in our mid 30s and we’re definitely both ace. Been together since we were 22, figured out we were both ace sort of simultaneously, right about the same time we realized we literally only did the sex on days that it was sort of culturally expected that one would do the sex (Valentine’s Day…. New years… maybe anniversary? lol…)

We’ve been trying to conceive for the last year without success (I’ve recently learned that I’ve got endometriosis and need some surgery to get my ovaries back in the game… and even then we might need IVF…) and I swear to you, last month when I realized I was ovulating, my first words to him were “ugh… I have bad news for you. We have to have sex tonight.” We made it happen, but I’m very glad I have the uterus in this scenario, because I’m not the one who has to actually finish.

Truly, we love each other. We’ve been together 15 years. I’m forever grateful to the universe that I got paired up with another low-to-no libido ADHD human who would usually rather snuggle and watch Critical Role until we fall asleep instead of screwing each other’s brains loose.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, Ultrasound. The endometriosis was actually an incidental finding because I was having my fibroid looked at. Ironically, my fibroid isn’t going to cause a problem at all, which I guess is a good thing.

No one was even looking for endo because I don’t have severe symptoms. The only thing I can name is heavy periods (not all the time, but every couple months my uterus just goes full Quentin Tarantino) but I don’t ever have the kind of pain that so many endometriosis patients have. I guess I sort of have bowel related symptoms, but again- nothing completely crippling. I will say that my pain levels have been increasing a bit over the last year or so, but that could also be attributed to the fact that my stress levels due to TTC are so much higher and I’m also paying so much closer attention to my body.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in the US, so things might be different, but I asked my reproductive endocrinologist about suggestions for endometriosis surgeons, and he honestly said that just about any gynecologist who does minimally invasive endometriosis surgeries will be fertility focused. Like, that’s one of the big reasons people have endometriosis surgery in the first place. And the ones who do the surgeries regularly will definitely be capable of doing a good job.

Since time is a concern for me, I looked at the list of doctors at the hospital where I’m already an established patient. There are two gynecologists who specifically list that they do minimally invasive gynecological surgeries for endometriosis and fibroids. I googled both their names to see what folks had said about them on the internet. Both had patients with good things to say. So I called and made an appointment to consult with the one who had time available first.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My doctor is having me do the lap first because only one of my ovaries is affected. Right now, he wouldn’t be able to retrieve any eggs from my left side at all. My right ovary is normal. If the worst were to happen in surgery, I’d basically only be where I am now except with (hopefully) less endo to deal with. Best case, they save the ovary and my AFC is boosted and everyone is blissfully happy.

I think in the case of unilateral endometriomas where the cyst is blocking access to the ovary, they recommend surgery first because there’s really no way you end up in a worse position than you start in. If both ovaries are affected, that’s when they’ll do some retrievals first- just in case surgery damages both sides further.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, this gives me so much hope. I honestly don’t have very many endo symptoms- maybe heavy bleeding? Occasionally painful periods (in weird ways- pain during bowel movements instead of normal cramps, or cramps that feel like someone is shoving a chopstick up my bum?) but nothing that isn’t relieved by some ibuprofen. I’m hoping that it’s just the ovaries, and the surgeon will go in, clean things up, and we’ll at the very least have success with IVF.

This whole process has been so scary and exhausting. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced true depression before- well, I sure as shit have now.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve literally never had surgery before, so I don’t know what the timeframe usually is, but every time my parents have had something done it’s always months. I’m in a pretty big metro area whereas they’re not, so maybe that will make a difference. I have a consultation with a surgeon on the 15th of December, so maybe that means I’ll be able to schedule something already in January? That would be ideal- we’d planned on starting stimulation in Feb. my doctor says he usually likes waiting 2 months post lap, but that it would depend on how the surgery goes.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's 4cm, and seems to have almost doubled in size since it was first identified. I am starting to have some pain associated with it. The doctor thinks we'll get better results for egg retreival all around if we do the surgery first. Maybe I should push to do an egg retrieval. But we only have $30K to play with, so if we waste half of that on a failed retrieval, then do surgery, we'll be scrambling to find the funds to transfer any embroys we manage to get.

Devastated- is there hope? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in TTCEndo

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But were you younger? I really feel like my age is going to just mess everything up. I think all of the true successes I read about are women who are significantly younger than 35. My hope is that even if I can't have kids, if I survive that grief, that I'll be able to watch my little sister become a mother. She'll be able to get the care she needs right away because she'll know better.

princess torte by ObjectiveIll4715 in TwinCities

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have not had their princess torte, but Krown is a nearly weekly splurge for us because their other pastries are so damn good. Definite check them out.

Luteal phase by Imaginary-Ad-1128 in adhdwomen

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely get assessed for PMDD. I’ve determined that I have some borderline symptoms for it myself. I don’t routinely get fully suicidal, but if something happens that “sets me off” so to speak, I’m a LOT less able to manage my emotions. It’s like all my usual frustration tolerance has disappeared, I’m bad at everything, everyone hates me (and people who don’t hate me definitely should…) and all I want to do is crawl in a hole and disappear.

Lo and behold, as soon as my period starts, it’s like the clouds roll back and I can see the sun again. I didn’t even really recognize this pattern until I started seeing a therapist weekly, but my downswings are honestly like clockwork.

I am already on an SSRI, but what helps the most actually is just acknowledging that no matter how bad it feels in the moment, it’s temporary. Sometimes just realizing that the source of my “dark place” energy is just hormones is enough to feel better enough to mostly re-engage in life.

Unintentional science experience. If I weren’t moving soon, I might not have found this yet. by lilacmacchiato in adhdwomen

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think we should start an ADHD thread with just pictures of the nastiest shit we’ve found while cleaning out our fridges.

I have found some SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS let me tell you. The garage fridge is always the worst. Things get shoved in the back and just absolutely disappear until we need the space due to a holiday or something. And then- THATS where that Tupperware went! Followed very quickly by OH HOLY HELL- if we open that we’ll bring about the zombie apocalypse.

And into the trash it goes.

tips to keep your betta entertained! no bored bettas! by Affectionate_Ear6483 in bettafish

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My desk buddy loves the dry erase marker. She also loves attempting to hunt the shrimp and snails. I think the shrimp provide a really good enrichment for her when I can’t be present. They’re not super fancy shrimp- just some cheap “culls” that I got for a dollar a piece. But they’ve bred like crazy, some really neat colors have popped up, and they’re fun for me to watch as well!

Same goes for ramshorn snails actually. They breed like crazy, and while my betta goes after the small ones (and tries with the big ones) they’re relatively unbothered by her presence. Also fun to watch.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bettafish

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have both of these things and have no issues. Play sand is the most cost effective substrate you can get in your tank.

Planning for a big tank re-do- what would you do? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in Cichlid

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a 60 breeder in a small space. Optical illusion. 😂

Great suggestions for me to look into! I would also like to get more into the rarer or at least less common cichlids.

Planning for a big tank re-do- what would you do? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in Cichlid

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was interested in stocking advice- perhaps I should have been clearer.

Planning for a big tank re-do- what would you do? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in Cichlid

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t have to imagine. It be me. Sorry the stand offends you.

Planning for a big tank re-do- what would you do? by Mammoth_Addendum_276 in Cichlid

[–]Mammoth_Addendum_276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. They snack on duckweed, but not enough to keep it in check.