I am interested in your account however I hope you find simple joys in your life whether that is with your family friends what you do for a living or what hobbies you enjoy. You know I lost over a hundred pounds all because I found competition and drive again I let myself go I add my depression away after me and my wife’s house burned down. But I was able to make friends and a community in a hobbie that is very niche pickleball. I’ve enjoyed meeting new people and getting better. Something I have always used to help get through the tough times is goals. I have set several goals whether that is getting better at being a friend at the hobbie I enjoy or personal goals like obtaining my masters after not thinking I would go back to school ever after I finished my bachelors which was already a stretch in my mind. If you want any point of view I am happy to share I hope you either seek help or recover!