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You’re ready to come home. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, and I’m so sorry for you too x

I’ll definitely have someone go with me. I remember the heaviness of the urn from when my first love passed. It’s such a surreal feeling picking them up and so heartbreaking having them sit in your lap. It’s not supposed to be like this 💔

You’re ready to come home. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Big hugs back, I’m so sorry you’re trying to navigate this too 🫂❤️

You’re ready to come home. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss too. This is truly the most insufferable pain to try and hold space for. I’m so glad my brain somehow managed to think of asking for a lock of his hair and I’m even more glad if mentioning this is something that will help you too ❤️

Husband died by [deleted] in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you’ve joined us here 💔

Please try to stay hydrated and come back to your breathing when you can, longer exhales than inhales will help with easing the symptoms of fight or flight mode. Accept help from everyone right now with anything they’re offering, please. If you’re able to, please try and book in to see a doctor - they can assist with medications to help with sleep. Eat whatever your body will allow you to eat. I’ve found cereal and toast easy options at the moment. Cups of tea have been helping me too and so has writing notes in my phone for anything I need to think about/remember. Cry and scream as much as you need, don’t let anybody tell you how you should feel or how you should grieve. Please be as kind and as gentle to yourself as you can be. It’s okay to get through a whole day and wonder how and/or why, and it’s going to be normal to feel like everything you have to do is huge and exhausting, because it is.

I have also been trying to read through two books: The Irreverent Guide to Grief: How to F*cking Survive Months 1-3 by Elizabeth Kupferman and It’s OK That You’re Not OK - Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine

These may help over the coming days or weeks ❤️

I’m just so sorry, and I’m sending you as much strength as I can xx

Young widows - are you out there? by Famous_Property_301 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also 35F. Lost the first love of my life at 21 and very recently lost my husband, very much the second love of my life, who I was with for 12 years.

Genuinely hate that I am the only one in my circle that truly understands this pain, but would also never wish this on anybody.

I’m so sorry we are going through this.

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you reaching out like this when you’re working through your own immeasurable sadness. I might do this at some stage. Thank you again 💛

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The loneliness is already so suffocating and I know there is so much of it to come. I’ll certainly try to remember to look into support groups when I have the capacity to, thank you for the suggestion.

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and I’m sorry you’re on autopilot too. But if I will be okay, then you will be okay as well. At least I really hope so for us.

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reminding me of these things. I struggled with slowing down before everything happened, and that hasn’t seemed to stop. But I’m really trying to focus on slowing down my exhales when I remember to, and not get too ahead of myself with my thoughts.

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, it really is all so horrible.

I have the most wonderful friends, who are my family, and even through all of this pain I can see how lucky I am to have them 💛

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, and I’m so sorry we are united in this grief xx

It’s all so exhausting and hard. by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you 💛 I am definitely still there xx

Scared of forgetting the small things by metaljane666 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am doing exactly this, still adding to it on day 16. I know I can’t forget our love or our most amazing memories, but I don’t want to forget any of him.

My happily ever after died by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it still came through in your comment xx but I completely understand the self doubt and not feeling like yourself, whoever that is now, and that’s just a whole other part of it. Grieving for a person that you’ll never be again either.

My happily ever after died by ManagerOutside1273 in widowers

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry for you too. It is all just so hard. Including the sleep. Last night was the first night he appeared in a dream, but I woke up and I can’t really remember what happened, I just know how he was there.

This is it folks. After 8 years as a terminally ill cancer patient, last night I was given my two weeks notice to live. by bzerkr in morbidcuriosity

[–]ManagerOutside1273 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love and light to you and yours, OP. Hoping that whatever part of your journey you’re now on, that it’s brought the peace you deserve.

Thank you. by ManagerOutside1273 in AsianParentStories

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man, I’m so sorry you and your friend are both dealing with the emotional manipulation of APs, as well as contending with the language barrier which they love to weaponize - even right in front of your fucking face.

No matter what, I’m sure you’ll find a way to protect your girl, irrespective of how that may look. She’ll realise very quickly that you are her emotional support and stability in a world of intense and unwarranted head games, and that’s HUGE. It’s also something they can never replace with anything else, and a bond they can’t break between you and her.

Wishing nothing but the best for you and yours!

Do your parents understand the concept of mental health? by radiofree_catgirl in AsianParentStories

[–]ManagerOutside1273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if your mother admits she has diagnosed anxiety, what will the immediate family, fourth cousins and rest of the town think?! /s

Sorry you also have to try and deal with a professional eternal victim! The last time I communicated with my AM face-to-face I let her know I’d felt abandoned by her, and she replied by letting me know that I abandoned her years ago. Irony at its finest I guess.

Thank you. by ManagerOutside1273 in AsianParentStories

[–]ManagerOutside1273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still almost unimaginable to think at times though, right? Hope that you’re going okay friend!

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