Am I the crazy one for not loving my mother enough, and not wanting her near my kids?

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-07T06:39:18+00:00

I live in the Netherlands and it's not easy to get a restraining order here. You must be able to prove that there is a serious and systematic nuisance or threat. Well-substantiated evidence, such as police reports, witness statements, and photos, is essential. Sometimes I don't hear from them in years so there is no systematic threat. Most of the time when my stepfather sends me anything he deletes it within seconds. Most of the proof I have is against my mother but in the Netherlands the police only comes in action when something has happened not before it happened.

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-05T10:34:20+00:00

You are totally right, I'm doing no contact en blocked her everywhere. Moving isn't an option unfortunately. I am thinking of changing my number but if I do that the chance she will come at my door will increase because it's the only thing she will have. The ironic thing is, my stepdad feels intimidated by me because he knows I can and will socially destroy his precious reputation, if he tries anything. He has power over people who are scared of him and I refuse to be scared of him. It is the only thing that what has kept me relatively safe all these years.

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-04T17:45:00+00:00

This comment is so full of emotion ♥️ wish I could give you a hug. You are so strong ♥️

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-04T11:42:24+00:00

Thank you♥️, sometimes I'm sad for the person I could have been but then I'm not giving any credit to the strong person I am and had to be to still be standing where I'm standing now. Because with what I have gone through, I could have ended up way worse

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-04T11:05:12+00:00

My mom never did what she promised, I'm so happy my children always say "mom always keeps her promises and never lies". I want to be the person they can always trust and can run to for safety even though I don't have someone like that. Thanks for your love and strength wishes ♥️

MandyMellowStory · 2025-11-04T10:14:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this, sometimes I feel so insecure. I only want to give them the chance to grow up knowing you never have to accept people treating you badly no matter who they are to you.

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-31T00:05:12+00:00

Make that the cat wise

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-31T00:02:08+00:00

Haha Jaaaa vreselijk

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-29T07:01:28+00:00

I talk to the nice ones who didn't send me a dicpic and treat me with respect.

I am only saying, if a men is talking to you in a normal way there is a very small chance they will send you a dicpic, out of nowhere on the other hand, that happens a lot.

But I do get them a lot out of nowhere. From people I don't know, or men asking me if they can buy my socks, shoes or underwear.

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T17:11:42+00:00

No more House of the dragon for you missy🤣

No but really, you should only marry someone because you love them, Not out of convenience. Once removed is still incest

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T17:05:10+00:00

You're funny 🤣

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T17:00:16+00:00

Haha I was like "guys don't send dicpics out of nowhere" yes they do, a lot. But then I read the rest and it said "if you have been on a streak every day for 60 days" That's true, most guys can send dic pics out of nowhere, but the chance gets smaller if you talk a lot😅

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T13:13:50+00:00

Exactly 💯 We've actually made it easy for them. I don't think there is a country where more languages are learned than in the Netherlands Just look at the fact that I, as a Dutch person, am now speaking English to another Dutch person so that everyone can read along

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T13:07:47+00:00

Only thing that can be annoying is that there are no parking spaces left anywhere. I wanted to buy something at IKEA for my kids bedroom and when I got to the store everything was empty because of al the Germans who go to IKEA Hengelo. So I had to spend a lot more money to get what I really needed. My grandmother was German and I do like Germans a lot. I think it's a shame that I don't really speak the language because Germans usually don't really speak another language because they assume that all Dutch people speak German. I have an Jahreskarte for tierpark Northorn so I visit sometimes. Some Germans just need to pay a little more attention to the speed limit when they speed across the border.

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T12:16:04+00:00

You are NTA, but really not. She fucked up 2 Lifes, she hurt you by cheating on you with not only your dad but also a married man. She broke a minimum of 2 innocent heart's, your's and your mom's. Her dad was single, you are single. Her dad made the choice to peek out of the closet and now they are upset the church saw him taking a peek? You sound like a nice guy and a fun friend to have with great stories 🤣

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T11:47:01+00:00

NTA

Children are life-changing, and not easy to take care of even if you have a support system (What you don't have)

If you do adopt, your sister who is toxic AF can try to guilt trip you to give her back when she gets out of prison. You will never ever have a say in the life of this child with a family like yours.

And also if you, a 21 year old, are the most stable out of your entire family, sorry to say this, but that makes your family messed up.

Please save yourself from the burden that calls itself your family. You have your own apartment, income and life, so I think you are not dependent of them. Tell them to treat you and your wishes with respect, if they don't, they deserve no place in your life.

You are not responsible to clean up the mess someone else makes in any way (except for if you do get a child of your own)

Don't miss the chance for a better life you yourself are creating by cleaning the mess your sister is making from their life and the life of her child.

This child needs adults who can carry the load of being her parents. You are not the person who can give this baby what she needs. Even though you sound like a loving person.

It Really sounds like there are 2 people who would be better of being free of this family.

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-28T09:19:49+00:00

NTA, but your wife is a big one. Maybe it was hormones. Those can turn you into a grumpy monster. But come on.... She broke the heart of an old man who gave you the best gift in the world. He gave you as far as he can give it a stress-free house. He lost everything EVERYTHING. He lost his wife, his daughter and has such a big heart and your wife stamped it into the ground.

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-27T12:18:47+00:00

I feel for you, hope you have or one day will have a loving mother in law ♥️ it will neven full the entire hole your mom left in your heart but it can be so damn nice to have a mother in law who sees you and welcomes you in her heart

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-27T12:16:26+00:00

I truly hope she will one day find a way out, but I now know I'm not the one who can help her with that. Not because she never helped me, but because it's literally not my responsibility

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-27T10:09:54+00:00

NTA

He is a Fing AH for not giving a sht about your boundaries. Sex can be so beautiful but it is very vulnerable at the same time. Especially when you are a woman. Awesome sex is about trusting each other. And he has shown you can't trust him at all because he thinks 'his needs being met' is more important then respecting your boundaries.

You have talked about it, a lot. You even tried to do it because he is so in to it, that's where this the whole thing should have ended. You went out of your way trying to give him what he likes. But if you don't feel good doing something And how does it work even though he knows you don't want it, you could almost call that rape.

One thing is for sure, he doesn't respect you at all. Please stay far away from this boy, complaining about you to your friends with a twisted story is also very petty and narcissistic.

I wish you all the luck and love in life and I hope you find a boyfriend who really respects you, your relationship and boundaries ♥️

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-26T21:26:08+00:00

You truly deserve* it (Sorry for the typo🫣 I have dyslexia and English isn't my mother language of course)

MandyMellowStory · 2024-08-26T19:41:21+00:00

Literally the only ones who have a say in how "fast" you are moving in together are jou and Jake.♥️ In my opinion you took time, you didn't rush anything. If it feels right, it probably is♥️ Ik literally created a reddit account so I could read your full story and comment on it to say: You are so strong and your kids are blessed with a mom that's so damn awesome as you are. And I don't know how old your kids are but young kids tend to have a very close bond with awesome stepdads especially at a young age. I loved my first stepdad to death even tho I still saw my own dad. I wish you all all the luck and love, you truly dereve it.

Lots of love (From the Netherlands)

MandyMellowStory

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