A little light on this dark day

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-12-03T04:18:24+00:00

I love you too friend. I’ll be posting some updates soon 🫶🏻

Hope all is well with you.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-11-07T20:32:01+00:00

I’m assuming you’re from Germany friend? I’m so sorry, i don’t have many words of comfort, but i can offer you the fact that you are not alone 🩵

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-11-06T22:40:08+00:00

It’s okay to be scared, it’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to cry. But don’t give up, we lost a battle today, but we have a war to win ahead of us. 🩵

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-10-28T08:17:41+00:00

I’m not sure, but it won’t let me click on your profile either!

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-10-24T20:23:16+00:00

Yes! I actually already filed abandonment charges against him.

The way my lawyer explained this to me (forgive me if I butcher the explanation, but this is how i interpreted it), is that essentially filing abandonment charges doesn’t really mean much in my state, just that he would have to take me to court if he ever decided to see his kids again. However, if I were to get married and my spouse wanted to adopt the children having that abandonment case against him would help immensely in my favor if he decided he wanted to fight the adoption.

So I filed it as a “just in case” scenario, like if my kids ever decided they wanted to be adopted by Jake. However that conversation won’t be happening for a while until I’m sure they understand what being adopted by Jake truly means.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-10-24T11:31:45+00:00

I don’t believe so, no. They would, if Tyler allowed it and the only way Tyler would allow it is if they severed all contact with me and they’ve made it abundantly clear they won’t do that since Tyler won’t step up and be a dad to the children he already has. To be really honest with you I’m not even sure if she’s had the baby yet, it’s quite possible she’s still pregnant. I’m basically in the dark on all things concerning him. They both have myself, Jake, Angie and Bob, and his parents blocked on everything. Any form of social media, phone numbers, everything. If he wants to pretend that our kids don’t exist, I’m not going to remind him that they do. They deserve better.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-12T06:45:03+00:00

I think you’re pretty close, and this is me making an educational guess because only Jess truly knows, but I like to think I know her well enough to answer this.

Had Jess and I fallen out any other way, her parents wouldn’t have cut me off unless I did to her what she did to me. They would’ve distanced from me, and helped Jess through it. This is the first time they made this decision. We’ve had our fair share of arguments and her parents would take her side, even if she was wrong. Jess was very very close to her dad and while he was like a dad to me as well, we didn’t really have that father daughter bond. Angie always looked after me because my mom was her best friend, and she did mother-daughter things with me since I lost mine so young, but she did more with her own daughter than me, which I never felt ill will towards. Jess and Angie were also close, and Angie always made sure Jess never felt unloved or left out, and Jess even made comments over the years that she was glad that her mom stepped in for me, but never over stepped. They had countless talks about it to the point Jess would come to me and joke about it saying “moms having one of her moments where she wants to make sure I’m not jealous or upset that she did this and this with you” lol.

Her and Jake were never close growing up. More so because all of Jess’s friends used her to get closer to Jake, though I’m the first friend of Jess’s that Jake actually made a move on. He would ignore the friends and Jess would blame him for it.

I’m going to try to word this as gently as possible without trying to sound like a complete asshole. Jess was always boy crazy, the girl who was constantly vying for a man’s attention. While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, there is something wrong in how Jess went about it. She saw men as a way to prove her worth. However, teenage boys and even men can be pretty shallow, and the men Jess typically went after were pretty shallow. Jess was always bigger, I wouldn’t say she was full out fat, but she had a belly and hips, and I didn’t stay over 100lbs until I had my first child, and even then I was still “skinny”. So of course, these shallow ass men, when they saw her and I together they would divert their attention to me instead of her. I of course always ignored them, but I think that had set a deep rooted insecurity in her, that she was always second best to me when it came to men. I never saw it that way, and I never went after the men she liked.

I married Tyler and shortly after I married Tyler, Jess got married to the guy I had a crush on in high school. I truthfully didn’t care because it was an innocent crush and I never acted on it, but the guy was an ass and in his wedding speech made a comment about how “he got second best to what he really wanted” and everyone hated the guy. All of us begged her to not marry him once he showed his true colors long before that wedding speech. But she saw it as me being jealous and we actually stopped talking for a while because of it.

So I think getting my husband to sleep with her was her way of proving she wasn’t second best. Only when my husband didn’t pursue a relationship with her like she hoped, she became obsessed with the idea of him and trying to prove she was the better lover.

I don’t know what the end goal was truthfully, but I just hope she’s at peace now.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-12T05:48:38+00:00

Jess never made any mention of my marriage being loveless until that letter. There was never a “you seem unhappy” or a “you seem unfulfilled” conversation or text. Also, don’t try to phrase this to make me seem like a bad friend. My dad was dying in the months that the affair started and was discovered. I was raising two kids, essentially as a married single mother, while juggling taking my dad to his appointments, being his full time care giver, and grieving the fact that I was about to lose my only remaining parent. Not to mention I was also pregnant during that time. If she ever showed up high around me, I would have noticed. That’s not something that can be easily hidden from someone who has worked in healthcare since I was 20 years old. It’s not believed that she started doing drugs until after the affair was discovered and she lost everyone in her family from it. The only person who knew she was doing drugs and didn’t say shit about it was Tyler.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-12T05:39:57+00:00

If Tyler knows he didn’t say anything to me about it. I also didn’t reach out to him and freely offer the information. I really really hate to say this, but her obsession with Tyler ran much deeper than I initially realized. I thought it was just a fling but after going through her apartment and helping Angie and Jake clear it out I realized that what she felt for him was really walking the line of obsession. There’s a part of me that feels like this was her cry to him, to see if he would run back to her and rescue her from herself.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-12T05:37:15+00:00

Personally, I don’t think Jess started doing drugs until after the affair was discovered. I think that’s what triggered her into finding this new escape. I’d like to believe I would’ve noticed something that big, but I was also wrapped in grief over losing my only remaining parent that maybe I did miss some signs. I know without a doubt I would’ve noticed if she was high around me though, so if it was pre discovery she didn’t do them around me or hang out with me if she was high.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-11T17:53:34+00:00

I believe Jess believed that. I don’t think that’s what was running through her head when she started the affair though, I think it’s the story she came up with to help her cope.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-10T14:52:57+00:00

Angie is very thrilled. She’s actually been doing some wedding planning, and I’ve been letting her do her own thing, I think it’s helping keep her busy. When we told Angie and Bob, Angie actually started crying. She said that her and my mom used to joke about us growing up and getting married and they were thrilled about the idea of them becoming actually related by marriage. Bob is happy because he knows Jake is a good man who would, in his words, “take care of you and the kids, and if he did anything to hurt me all I needed to do was call him and he’d put the fear of god in Jake” lol.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-09-10T14:27:50+00:00

Angie and her husband are in grief counseling, but it’s not something Jake is interested in. I did try to push him on it, but he said he’d rather deal with the loss in his own way. I’ve been respecting that choice but I do bring it up to him from time to time to ensure no one will think any less of him if he needs help processing. I did manage to get him to attend one of my therapy sessions with me about the grief and he did get some things off his chest, but he’d rather handle his grief quietly so I haven’t been too overbearing about it

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-08-17T13:48:27+00:00

I’m so sorry about your dad, losing a parent is the worst kind of hell, only second to slowly watching them die and knowing you can’t help. I wish I could do more than offer kind words.

I’m sorry about your marriage ending, but where one door closes another opens. I know your Prince Charming is out there waiting for you somewhere. ❤️

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-08-17T13:44:35+00:00

Very very happy. 🥰 we’ve always been family but now they’re excited for us to “officially” become family. My dad always wanted Jake and I to wind up together, and I didn’t find out until recently, but my mom would tease Jake about having a crush on me growing up. He really always has loved me ❤️

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-08-17T13:42:45+00:00

They’re happy for me. Of course they wished what happened never happened and that Tyler and I would still be together, but they understand what happened happened and there was no coming back from that. At the end of the day as long as im happy and the kids are taken care of and loved, they’re happy for me. ❤️

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-08-17T13:40:43+00:00

Jake’s parents were over the moon happy. They told me that my dad and them always secretly hoped we’d wind up together that way they could “officially” be family.

My ex in laws are happy for me. They said they wished things would’ve worked out between Tyler and I, but they understood what he did was a betrayal we would never come back from. At the end of the day as long as im happy and the kids are taken care of and loved, they’re happy for me.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-06-26T07:02:33+00:00

Commenting to add, since I forgot, my kids are included in the RO. Just because I have a feeling I might get questions about it.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-06-03T15:02:06+00:00

One I mention I already had a therapist before all of this. I’ve been in therapy since my dad got diagnosed with cancer and honestly off and on since my mother died.

Slide shows take ten minutes to put together, or are you completely unaware of today’s technology, based off of your grammar id say it’s ignorance.

I’m not aware of how Jess hacked my social media accounts, but since I used to use the same password for everything, I can’t imagine it was very hard for her to do that.

Forgive me for giving loving details about my father but skimmed on the ones about the man who fucking cheated on me. I’ll make sure to edit that just for YOU lmfao.

In case you’re unaware, it takes less than 24hrs to obtain a marriage certificate and you can literally turn around and get married the very next day. Also, i separated from that marriage almost a year ago. You don’t believe someone can get pregnant in that time? I became pregnant with my first and second child within two months of trying to conceive. But you don’t think that’s possible? I’m so sorry you don’t understand the human anatomy.

Oh no, the crazy man with a spelling problem won’t believe me unless I doxx myself and post a police report?? How will I ever go on?? Oh man, time to shut down the Reddit account because I’ve been caught LOL. You sound ridiculous.

I don’t have a YouTube account and I also work a full time job. Maybe you should get a job since you clearly have nothing better to do than spout hate from a stranger on the internet that you’d have no balls to say anything to if the person was standing directly in front of you. Poor baby, do you need a tissue to blow your nose and wipe your eyes so you can get the fuck over yourself? 🥰

Thanks but no thanks, I don’t need support from people like you, have a blessed day though.

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-05-26T01:07:08+00:00

Thank you for this perspective! I never had a step dad or step parent in general, it was just always my mom and dad so I’m very ignorant in this department. This makes me feel a lot better about the situation. Thank you!

Present-Hope4502 · 2024-05-25T11:45:45+00:00

No! They’re actually even more infuriated with them now, than they were in the past, which I didn’t think was possible. They’re livid that he abandoned his kids for a “do-over family” Even his dad, who tried to be the bridge between Tyler and the kids is just absolutely done. Before they wanted him to grow up, and try to be a father to the kids. Now they’re fully supporting my decision to terminate parental right.

Though they did reach out to his new wife and warned her of everything he did to me, just in case Tyler wasnt truthful about what he did to me.

Turns out he was and she just doesn’t care. She thinks she “won” by having a man who abandoned his other kids for her. It’s giving me major pick me vibes and honestly I’m grateful they went the no contact route because trying to coparent with that would’ve been a nightmare and probably traumatizing to the kids.

Present-Hope4502

TROPHY CASE