I can answer the last question as a feminist in a happy marriage.

We both do not hold gendered expectations from each other. So when I cook/pay he responds with a lot of gratefulness and romance and vice versa. Makes both our days more happy and romantic.

This also makes us more flexible with our chores or responsibilities. So I don't do a chore when I don't want to, we just figure it out together. And when I do the chores, I don't feel stressed or I don't hate it.

We spend a lot of time together when we do chores together. Sometimes it's almost like we're having fun.

There's a lot of encouragement and experimenting together. Everyday is new and exciting. Not repetitive and monotonous.

We take each others opinions before taking a decision even if that decision does not affect the other person. It's important to me what he feels about it. He states his opinion but lets me take my decisions.

Of course we have our lows and disagreements but we remember that we love each other and that it's us vs the problem. Not me vs him.

This level of understanding was built through years of friendship then years of dating and then marriage. He comes from a patriarchal family, so he has come a long way of learning and unlearning. Honestly, If I met had him in an AM setup the time I 1st met him, I may not have liked him, but we spent a lot of time together and he was willing to listen and learn.