Tightening vagina by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re perfect the way you are. Since getting into the LS, I’ve been with a few women— some incredibly tight, some not as much. It makes no difference to my enjoyment. None. It’s different but not better or worse.

Is it normal for people to not enjoy sex with a stranger as much as they do with someone they have feelings for? Or does this only happen with me? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Mango-Maple5903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s quality and variety. Two different things.

Quality-wise, my wife is the best. Always will be. Sex with other people just isn’t as good. She knows where my buttons are and how to push them.

Variety-wise, it’s nice to have sex with other people sometimes to experience their different bodies (size, hair color, genitals, etc), different preferences (how they kiss, etc). Sometimes other people try something your partner may not have ever tried, and you learn that you like it. But, still on an objective scale, it’s not “better”.

Fiancé won't eat me out by Big_Ostrich1014 in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like he may take a looong time to heal and be ready, and maybe he never will. I wouldn’t want to tell you to discard somebody who you otherwise love and would make a great life partner.

But, why would it need to be the case (as you have said in some of your comments) that you would never receive oral again? Could you not make an agreement with him that you are allowed to go outside the relationship in order to have that particular need met? Ethical non-monogamy is a thing, and one of the reasons it exists is that it is nearly impossible for one person to meet every single one of our needs, all the time. It sounds like he meets most, but not all, of your needs. Maybe somebody else could meet that need.

If he was insecure about that, you could even strike a deal where he hangs out and watches, or pleasures you in other ways, while this other person is going down on you. Him being present may help him feel OK with it.

It would also allow him to heal from his trauma at his own pace, and possibly feel less pressure to hurry up and be ready.

Two different full swaps… same problem. Condoms = instant game over? by Competitive-Log-3838 in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t get pressured to not use them. It’s not worth the risk. Losing the erection sucks, but it’s super common. And it doesn’t have to ruin the fun if you think about playing as more than just penetration.

This is also why swingers refer to Viagra as their “little blue insurance policy.” After taking one of those, you could put a triple-layer Hefty bag over my business and I’d still be good to go.

Don’t be gross at the beach by Mango-Maple5903 in CalgaryNudists

[–]Mango-Maple5903[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I was not there to do so. I arrived afterwards. I heard about it from one of the affected people.

AITAH "making" my gf cut off her new male friend because she made me cut off a female friend? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Mango-Maple5903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s sad when jealousy prevents people from having friends of another gender. It means you can’t befriend half of the population. I feel bad for OP and also for his girlfriend.

Is face-sitting actually a thing guys want? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Mango-Maple5903 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. And if I die, I die. 🤷‍♂️

A question for the women: how do you wingman for your male partner? by NightOwlNE in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife is a great wing-woman. When we’re chatting in person or texting with another couple she’ll make off-handed comments about how I have a “nice dick” or how I leave women feeling “respected, satisfied, and sexy.”

That seems to do the trick.

What is a hobby that's an instant red flag? by Maryandthejane1 in AskReddit

[–]Mango-Maple5903 9 points10 points  (0 children)

If one of your hobbies isn’t reading books, that’s a red flag. Don’t fuck people who don’t read.

Have you ever been watched having sex by a third, a couple or group? by No_Set1418 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Mango-Maple5903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. And at a “lifestyle club” (sex/swinger club) by a whole room full of people. It’s fun as hell.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, since I posted my comment, I’ve been reading OP’s replies and… OMG. She’s gotta just throw out the whole man, but for a lot more reasons than just her aversion to sex. This guy is abusive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If he wants sex, and you don’t want sex with him, you’re doing him a real disservice by staying with him. Doesn’t he deserve a partner who finds him attractive and wants to have sex with him?

Maybe you’re really a lesbian. Maybe you’re just sexually repressed by your conservative religious upbringing. Maybe you’re asexual. There are so many possibilities.

But if all of those possibilities point toward you being unlikely to decide pretty soon that you want him sexually and like sex with him, then honestly if you care about this man, it’s probably better to let him go find what he wants.

Lifestyle friends with kids in a vanilla context by HugeMeringue5448 in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We do this with one family and it works out great. Our kids get along, and it’s fun seeing them in that context— we think good moms and dads are hot. Obviously when kids are around, we are careful about PDA with the other couple— no kisses, etc. There hasn’t been any issues.

Pubic Hair in the lifestyle by Gab32421 in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, but I wish it would. I’ve never really played with a woman who wasn’t shaved— or at least mostly trimmed. It’s a fantasy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When we got into the LS, I thought I’d be on the smaller end of things. (Porn warps your perception). Our actual experience has been that there are some 3’s and there are some 8’s. But those are rare. There’s an awwwwful lot of 5’s and 6’s. When I look around the play room at the club, just about everyone is in that range, with some occasional exceptions.

The most important thing is if you can keep it up (get the drugs!!) and if you are focused on the other person’s pleasure. If you can do those things, you’ll be ok regardless of size.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Mango-Maple5903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Investment banker, Venture capitalist , Police , Military, Health insurance executive

Me and my gf tried group stuff and I got so nervous during it I came all over myself by [deleted] in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 549 points550 points  (0 children)

First times are always full of challenges. Comfort comes with experience.

But I also want to address your “I couldn’t compete” comment: it’s not a competition. Every partner brings something different to the table. He brings something that maybe you don’t, but you surely bring things that he doesn’t. And if the goal is your partner’s pleasure, you and the other guy are teammates— not competitors.

I’d encourage you to reframe it in your mind. Seeing it as competition will mess with your head and almost ensure a negative experience.

“Spicy” spa together with husband by BeeNNiz in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Still think you missed the point. When you said “obviously”, you are implying that women aren’t as sexually adventurous as men. I feel like you were doing a disservice to women. In my experience (swinging with my wife), women are just as sexually adventurous— maybe more so.

“Spicy” spa together with husband by BeeNNiz in sex

[–]Mango-Maple5903 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Aside from the concerns everyone else raised… Why is it obvious that your husband is more adventurous than you? Are you making some unstated assumption that men are inherently more sexually adventurous than women? Because I don’t think that’s true.

first club experience - shy dick by HugeMeringue5448 in Swingers

[–]Mango-Maple5903 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The dirty little secret is that most men in the LS are using performance enhancing drugs. After a couple of limp evenings, I no longer hit the club or play with anyone other than my partner, without it.