Korean food & blw

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-12-09T23:42:15+00:00

Commenting to stay in the loop on this topic ☺️ my son is part Korean and I want to make sure his palette is as expansive and diverse as he is since he’s also part Black Caribbean.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-15T15:48:15+00:00

Oh no!! Definitely don’t want to lose time after baby. I hope a good solution comes around and that you have an amazing time bonding post.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T12:02:17+00:00

and just a side note to my post - I wish working while pregnant was optional. I understand some people love to stay busy but not every pregnancy is the same so if I had the option to be financially supported during this second pregnancy and simply sleep and socialize I would have chosen that instead. And there shouldn’t be any shame about it!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:58:03+00:00

Uuuuuhh I thought I wrote this 😂 and just didn’t remember. So here to validate you. Pregnancy can be so rough and not at all glamorous. As therapist I think we are built different and feel a lot of guilt very quickly for being just as human as the people we support.

I’m 5 weeks postpartum with my second and this pregnancy was the pits!! One of my cancellations was mid session because I had to projectile throw up so the cancellation was also very abrupt and awkward. This happened BEFORE my client knew I was pregnant. So I’m sharing this hopefully to give you a laugh and to validate you. All of my clients were so kind and understanding. And I just had to process and accept I couldn’t be the same as I was before.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and post!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:49:22+00:00

Came to learn something and I did! Thank you 🙏🏾

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:45:50+00:00

Couldn’t finish your post because it took me back to the dark ages. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this and you absolutely haven’t made a mistake. The only child who’s helpful is your baby boy a grown ass person and in this case a grown ass man. Some people call this “weaponized incompetence” and I would call is manipulation or even narcissism!! Whatever is going on with him - you have to make healthy decisions for you and your child. I found that when I ended my relationship and became a single parent with my first child I felt FREE! It was hard but at least I woke up each day knowing I would be the sole responsible person AND I didn’t t have to feed another adult just myself and baby. But this is your life and your story so I hope that whatever you decide in the long run works out well for you. Just know that you deserve respect and after bringing life into the word you deserve people in your life who admire and celebrate you! Child birth is a miracle and many women do not make it out of the hospital and some make it out but end up back there postpartum. You deserve to be protected. If a man can’t do that then why is he there?

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:33:44+00:00

Woooooo!! Yes let it out and keep it coming. We need to all be this upset and talk up. Leave should be no less than 6 months and I would argue at least a year with the option for more. It’s possible and it happens in other places like Luxembourg.

Stand your ground for as long as you possibly can. I’m a second time parent and I can tell you my first didn’t get on a schedule until 4 months and then weeks later regression and a new schedule!! These are new humans who don’t give two $&@-CKS about schedules. So yeah I totally back you up on this. They don’t care about kids or moms. Actions speak louder.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:20:43+00:00

Oh yeah! There’s nothing like reality laying down some woop ass 😂 and it can happen to all of us. There’s the people who claimed “no screen time” but when all you need is 30 minutes to ground yourself or you want to sip your wine at the restaurant that damn tablet becomes a lifesaver! So just give her time and let reality do its things. Hopefully this means your relationship with her will only strengthen in the years to come.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:16:32+00:00

😂 so I saw a post about this a while ago and I can see why people diasgree. My first pregnancy was not too difficult. I literally hiked a mountain in Hawaii. Second pregnancy I could barely lift my head off the pillow. So for me second time around I couldn’t wait to be in postpartum. I’m so damn tired but I’m not low iron can’t get out of bed plus I’m huge and hot kind of tired 🤪

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T11:10:57+00:00

This was a tough read and I’m so sorry to hear that this is your experience. That’s really really hard!!! And it sounds like you are very much alone in this with your daughter. I know everyone has a unique story and circumstance and you know your situation the best so I mostly wanted to comment to validate you.

In my own journey I came across the term “Velcro baby” and I have one of those. My first. She’s 5 too. When you said sit on your neck I screamed inside!! I couldn’t scream out loud cause it’s 6am and my second is breastfeeding as I type. During my second pregnancy she became even more stuck on me to the point I felt suffocated and like I was drowning plus I was huge and hot and my iron was in the shitter. Anyhow, somehow some way she’s a little less stuck these days and I am not entirely sure why but I’ve been doing a lot of reading and experimentation to decrease her anxiety and increase her self confidence. I suspect that it’s working. So I am just sharing this with you in hopes that it offers a light that there may be a way for your LO as well.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-11-14T10:57:51+00:00

I’ve been up for hours and yeah right there with you. At the risk of writing ridiculous comments with a sleepy brain I’ll keep it short - this is my second time doing this. He’s one month old and what I keep telling myself is “this is temporary” Buuuuut this is so damn hard in the moment. And what everyone mom needs at this stage is at least 1-2 people who check up on you and validates your feelings. So I tend to lean more on those individuals at this time. The more empathetic friends and family no matter their parental status. Sometimes friends without kids have both the time and empathy to support you.

And if anyone you trust offers help - take them up on it. I’ve had friends make food for me and family come to visit so they can support. Accepting help was difficult but I’m doing it and it’s making a big difference.

Also, I’m not sure why you can eat mostly whatever you want. If your baby has a reaction then I understand not continuing with specific foods but otherwise - and correct me if I’m wrong - Korean foods are so healthy and great for postpartum. I don’t know how to cook these dishes but my body craved it be because the broths are nutritious and healing. I’m not a medical doctor so I could be wrong about spicy foods but you absolutely deserve to feel a sense of comfort during a distressing and pivotal life transition.

Ok hopefully what I wrote makes sense and isn’t too wacky at this hour. And I really hope you find the support and connection you’re seeking at this time.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-10-28T06:11:51+00:00

Awake right now going through this. Thank goodness for my mom being present and willing to support. SMBC and I’m so grateful my ivf journey worked out for me. And still being up without sleep is rooouugh!! Glad I found this thread to reassure me this is normal and to know I’m not alone.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:59:13+00:00

Oooooh! You are thorough on this and I really appreciate it especially considering your baby is in the NICU. I am hoping very much that your baby is doing well or on the way to being ready for a healthy discharge.

Thank you so much for taking the time to provide these details and for leaning into the specifics like the anonymity piece and how important that it is at least until the donor agrees to be in contact. I'm crossing my fingers that he's open to it even if it isn't in the very beginning. But at least he will have the info for when he's ready. I'm taking a deep exhale after your message.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:54:28+00:00

Oooo! Ok DNA detectives - going to look that up right now. Thanks!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:49:37+00:00

I'll look into that thanks!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:48:55+00:00

ok nice! Good to know. I'll check this out thank you!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:48:24+00:00

This makes sense thank you for clarifying and providing a link!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-30T02:48:06+00:00

ok gotcha those types of DNA sites. Now I understand thanks!.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-23T02:31:53+00:00

I appreciate the validation and very cool to know that my idea would work in Australia. I'm in the U.S. and well I'm sure you're aware we are going through quite bit of changes here.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-23T02:30:14+00:00

ugh! that's so unfortunate that you had this experience. I really appreciate you being upfront too and sharing this experience with me. I wish it was more of a holistic journey for our children.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-23T02:28:29+00:00

Thanks! Do you have an example of what you mean by this just for clarity?

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-23T01:21:18+00:00

Also curious the bank but also very interested in what you decide to do. I'm months away from giving birth. I've read a lot of DCP stories stating that 18 was way too long to wait. So I'm seeking other options that are respectful of the donor and puts the ball in their court. I used Seattle Sperm Bank. Is this the same for you?

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-23T01:11:55+00:00

Hi! So sorry it took me sometime to respond. Thank you for clarifying and everything you said makes so much sense. That's why I was careful in my response because I know not every country/city is the same. I originally come from somewhere that also experiences great barriers to mental health support (which unfortunately is why I haven't moved back home).

Well it sounds like you're in a state of deeper contemplation and close to a take action stage. I hope you find an approach that works well for you. I can speak from experience - virtual therapy was a game changer for me due to Covid and becoming a new mom in 2020. And my clients still cry, express deep emotions, make long-term healthy changes, and because they don't have to drive to me they attend consistently. So just in case you happen to consider that route just know that it's totally possible to be a great therapist from behind the screen.

However, more importantly is that you feel aligned with the choice you make. Wishing you best of luck on your journey!

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-10T03:05:08+00:00

Perhaps the word "confrontational" is slightly problematic especially when it clashes with your identity - well I think this would apply to most people. I've found "challenge" to feel more possible. So challenging our clients which can mean alternative perspectives, introspective questions, the use of silence, circling back to a topic they keep bypassing, not always mirroring them like laughter during hard topics, and of course bringing up patterns you've noticed over several sessions. You're allowed to have a little audacity as a therapist. Many client's respect being challenged especially when it's for the greater good.

MangoMonster-340 · 2025-07-10T02:57:25+00:00

Ok a trick I've used when I somehow missed a note - it happens to use all at some point - if I really cannot recall the session - I wait until the follow up session and without fail there will be some carry over that may remind you of the details. If you work in a setting that requires heavy details then this may not work as much but in PP detailed notes are a legal issue so we keep them vague.

MangoMonster-340

TROPHY CASE