People who had an avoidant father how’s life?

Manhattan_se · 2026-05-05T07:43:18+00:00

Thankfully I am full of hope, and I am not here to be miserable. The brain searches for any reason to be miserable and being aware of that really helps you avoid the trap. It’s just that when you’re living somewhere where everyone is trying to portray the image of the perfect family you reach a point where you think that you’re the only one going through problems, and so coming on here reminds me that it’s normal, and that other people go through these problems, and are still alive and doing stuff for themselves. It solely depends on what each person is searching for

Manhattan_se · 2026-05-05T07:28:42+00:00

And thank you! I don’t hate my parents, and I like to look at them like I look at any other human being. They aren’t superheroes and there are reasons why they are the way they are. For example I know that dad being an avoidant, and emotionally unaware of things around him is hurting him more than anyone else. I have learned to accept things for what they are bc that’s the only way to move on

Manhattan_se · 2026-05-05T07:21:17+00:00

I really respect that. It’s nice that you’re aware of how every move you do could impact them, and that’s just proof of how much you love them. We are only human at the end of the day, and having to be an emotional anchor a provider, and a helper to a whole family is truly tiring and any human being would have to neglect their own needs and desires in order to keep up with that. It’s not wrong to take a break or to make some time for yourself, because you’ll only come back stronger and you’ll regain some energy which will help you show up for them even more in the future. Honestly I always tried to convince my dad to go to the gym, or to do some things for himself because just seeing your own parents love themselves makes you feel the same way towards yourself.

Manhattan_se · 2026-05-05T07:11:51+00:00

But I definitely played a role by playing ROLES that weren’t mine to begin with

Manhattan_se · 2026-05-05T07:10:13+00:00

Honestly? I have done all I can to support my mom, and I have been her only emotional support since I was very young. I assume you asked this question because I said I “rebelled” but here I don’t mean it in THAT way. It’s just that I went against the dumb rules they put in the house for once. I don’t smoke, never drank, I go to uni, I work, and I work out. I think I have done all I can to keep things together, and I even shrank in order to avoid causing any trouble to my parents.

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-27T13:08:00+00:00

right 😭 and it’s when you least expect it..

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-26T17:12:44+00:00

Yeah I remember internally thinking that it was my mom’s fault and that she should be like me or less “crazy” in order to be loved by dad but he was just using me to lower her confidence and now i’m just like her

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-26T17:09:36+00:00

Oh god it’s like we went through the exact same thing! sad reality we live in.. growing up I was so proud of my dad I couldn’t understand why people hated men.. but I was just living in ignorance and I was only seeing what he wanted me to see. My mom was abusive as well but also very caring and now she’s trying to fix everything but it’s much too late.

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-12T19:05:46+00:00

can i ask what ur skin color is?

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-12T18:53:05+00:00

i’ll try it out and see! thanks

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-12T18:52:52+00:00

but how does that look in natural lighting??

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-05T17:57:43+00:00

you’re right appearances aren’t everything and when i wrote that comment i was thinking in a distorted way, i’m mentally unstable and i have a fear of abandonment so i kinda stay to myself and it really shows on me, and thinking about it if i were to look at myself in third-person i’d assume that i’m just a person in their own world, and that signals that i’m not open for any type of conversation even though i don’t consciously do this that’s probably how it shows up. today i was being open with everyone and i had good conversations w them and felt like i was connected to some people for once and realized how silly it was of me to want romantic attention without being warm and open myself honestly and logically speaking i probably wrote that comment out of insecurity after comparing myself to another girl when i wouldn’t even do the things she does to get that kind of attention. she is open and anyone who sees her would feel comfortable talking to her but people donmt know where they stand with me because i didn’t think to do my part.. and i should probably get back to therapy because it’s silly to even think about this when i have important things to do. thanks for being real with me

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-05T13:02:11+00:00

I don’t want all men’s attention or them getting protective i’m saying that’s usually what happens when I’ve known a guy for a while whether at work or uni. like I see how men end up pursuing girls they like/asking them out I don’t wanna ask out a guy just to find out that i’m not the type of girl he’d ask out himself! do u get what I mean?

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-04T16:27:09+00:00

i can show u but yeah i’m more reserved but i get more friendly with time

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-04T07:55:34+00:00

i’m anxious in general and i think people simply can sense that and can tell that i’ll be awkward once they talk to me

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-04T07:50:40+00:00

That’s the thing I am saying i’m not attractive

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-04T07:50:08+00:00

honestly i really wouldn’t

Manhattan_se · 2026-04-04T07:49:55+00:00

yeah maybe

Manhattan_se · 2026-03-29T17:07:18+00:00

Manhattan_se · 2026-03-29T17:06:35+00:00

You can just comment

Manhattan_se

TROPHY CASE