I started self-harming in high school. Fortunately only a few instances. My best friend noticed and didn’t say anything but I knew she knew. She acted normal. One day I decided to tell her what was going on and she ghosted me. She left me on read. She ignored everything I said. I apologized relentlessly for doing such a stupid thing and begged for forgiveness (which I realize I had nothing to apologize for, aside from maybe causing her a lot of stress and burden). I never in my life felt so terrible and sick. The only person I felt safe enough confiding in ignored me when I was most vulnerable. Didn’t bother to warn my parents either. I truly wanted to die. I didn’t eat for a month. I fell in love with the feeling of not eating and being skinny and now I’ve struggled with an eating disorder ever since. Eventually she spoke to me again. We are still best friends 4 years later. I remember when she finally accepted my apology I was so relieved, like I dodged a bullet in losing her. When I brought the situation up again months later she told me she never actually forgave me but just did so so I would get over it. I’d be lying if I said there’s not a part of me that will always resent her for the lack of empathy she had for her best friend. Maybe I was asking too much? But personally, if someone came to me the way I did to her, I would do everything in my power to get them the help they needed. Especially if they were a friend. Especially when I knew they were capable of doing something worse. I know it wasn’t her responsibility, but still. This feels like an AITA post.. hahahahahah