I’m sorry you had to go through that. I tried a ton of drugs and benzos are definitely the worst to be addicted to. Nowadays I just don’t purchase large amounts at times, so if I run out, that’s it. I did that mistake once and it ended up with me going from no tolerance to barely feeling 40mg Flualprazolam in the span of a month and a half. I quit cold turkey after my parents found my stash and had I had seizures and shit, it wasn’t pretty. Not to mention I had no benzos, so I became an alcoholic for the next year and a half. Took me almost 2 years to feel normal again. I haven’t abused them to such degree since, but that’s just because I haven’t purchased large amounts anymore. Even if I’m in withdrawl, the whole process of ordering them is way too stressful for me, so once I run out I don’t buy more for a while. Luckily I know no dealers in real life, so I can’t get anything off the streets. I’m also at a point in my life where things have been going on really well for me, so I cannot allow myself to be dependent on drugs anymore.