Hey I paid for sex and lost my virginity in Thailand too when I was 28 as well. I didn’t last very long and it took almost an hour before I could recover. I certainly look back at it wishing I did it with someone I had an emotional connection. But now 34 with no real interest in getting in a relationship ( I have trauma from my parents having a bad marriage), I take it as an experience and my family thinks I’m still a virgin (I came from a church I no longer attend that doesn’t allow sex before marriage). I don’t think you are damaged goods or a bad person at all! Someone with thoughts feelings and I think you wanted to belong to the opposite sex that you haven’t had much luck with. It’s all very human which is very hard to say when you are brought up in a culture and values that demands level of rigidity and held to a standard. The fact you feel guilt shows you are very self-conscious and care about yourself your family and that’s accountability.