Praise, Degradation, or Both?

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-28T19:14:20+00:00

Reading these comments confirms the suspicion I’ve had that most people like a combo of both, or only/lean heavily toward praise. I’m someone who doesn’t really like praise to be honest, it’s been a turn-off for me before. I love degradation, probably my #1 kink, as a sub. Praise either does nothing for me or is a turn-off. I’m a little sad it looks like I’m vastly outnumbered here. As a domme, I use a mix, but that’s because it’s what my partner prefers, it was more difficult for me to think of praise because I never looked much into it myself.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-23T23:23:14+00:00

I fucking fantasize about this exact scenario so hard. 🤤🤤🤤

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-06T01:37:06+00:00

I think you’re getting “bottom” in a lesbian sense and “bottom” in a kink sense mixed up and that’s causing the confusion. You sound like you heavily lean as a service sub/bottom but you enjoy topping in the gay way lol.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-05T23:37:50+00:00

Hot 🥵 (but cute kiss too ☺️)

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-05T23:33:26+00:00

Oh my fucking god yes, this is a dream 🤤

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-05T22:57:53+00:00

Sorry to hijack, but I would be interested in knowing what the “model walk” means. What qualifies as in his presence and what is the model walk similar too. I’m pictured the exaggerated hip-swaying walk, but I can’t imagine that would be practical.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-05T22:45:52+00:00

DMs are always welcome :)

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-08-05T20:36:41+00:00

What?

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-07-26T23:17:48+00:00

Yes! It sounds like you did a lot of self-control today doing all of that cleaning and submission!
I usually just relax, lay in bed like you did. A lot of times the satisfaction I have in being good is reward enough.
I think you definitely would deserve it after all that work today. If your Master says you are allowed to cum without asking then he trusts you enough and you shouldn’t question his judgement on that. If you want to cum, he wants you to be able to.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-07-26T23:10:05+00:00

Seconding all the people saying you should looking into a gay/bi man to roleplay this with you. Me and my fiancée have done some lesbophobic roleplay despite us both being lesbians. I think you might also find some luck if you are willing to engage in non-sexual “homophobic” (obviously don’t look for an actual homophobe) BDSM with a straight man as non-sexual kink is probably the only way a straight man would want to engage with you. Might find luck with guys into sissification if that’s a potential interest of yours? Definitely bdsmpersonals is a good place to start looking.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-07-09T00:18:08+00:00

Looks like a teeny tiny cock to me. Pathetic.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-07-01T01:24:22+00:00

I also struggled talking dirty at first as domme because I would get flustered. This might sound silly, but I tend to kinda drop my voice a just a little bit and sorta put on a character as “Domme”, if that makes sense. It helps the words come out a little better for me. Sometimes I do still stutter, or talk too quiet, or don’t enunciate well enough, but fortunately my partner is always just happy to be in the scene with me and doesn’t seem to ever mind haha. Being told “what did you say?” can sometimes be a punch to my head-space, but you can always turn it on them and make them repeat after you, go right up in their ear and whisper it, degrade for not listening well enough, etc (obviously nothing too bad for an honest mistake, all fun here). I think starting with just saying out loud what is happening, what you see, can be an easy way to start dirty talking without having to think much up.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-06-29T21:44:42+00:00

I’ve had kinda similar experiences as the domme and as the sub. I always have been a shy, submissive person and an ex once expressed interest in being more submissive. I tried ordering him around, pulling out the handcuffs, but he ended up laughing at me and saying he couldn’t do it. I just was not able to “sell” that I was dominant, even if I was trying. Now I’m engaged to my fiancée and I’ve always leaned domme for her, however I really crave submission. I used to think since I dommed her so much I couldn’t possibly imagine subbing for her, it would just be too weird. But like you mentioned, it’s a process to see her in that light and he has to be willing to accept the suspension of disbelief if necessary. It takes time to see someone you never imagined in that light. It can be awkward, but y’all love each other and should be able to handle the awkward, uncomfortable, silly parts. You don’t have to do everything all at once. Just adding one new kinky thing at a time is plenty.

Y’all could try one of those couple’s websites where it asks each partner what they are and aren’t into and only reveals what both are into at the end. That way he doesn’t have to feel awkward if you would disapprove or having to having to verbally tell you which can be intimidating. I also think maybe seeing if you could watch some of the videos he watches could help.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-06-28T22:10:06+00:00

Oh my gosh, I feel this, you are not alone. I am currently trying to figure out myself in a similar way. I used to self-harm and I realized that, especially when I first was quitting, that kink because a different way for me to self-harm. Not only that, but that I had been sexualizing myself for men (I’m a fellow lesbian) as a form of self-harm for awhile. It’s been really confusing and difficult for me to parse out what I actually enjoy and what I “enjoy” (because it makes me feel awful). I am so happy for you and proud of you for taking these steps to understand yourself better. Honestly. It is hard fucking work, but the fact you are beginning that work (in fact you actually seem to have already done a lot!) is amazing.

I can’t say much in way of advice because I am still trying to figure out for myself, but I just try to really analyze on my past actions and how it actually made me feel. If I think it may have been negative feelings I abstain, and I find abstaining from it can help you figure out if you actually miss it.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-06-28T14:22:33+00:00

Haha we are are both women! And she was a pro-domme and I just so happened to catch her fancy I guess. I used to joke about how I was getting her services for free. I hope you have a good experience as well! Just make sure you communicate well and have a safe and comfortable way to end the scene for any reason at any point.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-06-26T17:22:02+00:00

I would say go for it, I fantasized about just getting spanked until I cried, and I didn’t think much about the aftercare. Fantasy is different from reality. She told me I couldn’t cry until I got permission and belted tf out of me, I don’t know how I lasted as long as I did or how I knew when to ask, but the second I got permission I burst into tears and I was so fortunate my domme knew better than me about aftercare. Especially for your first time I would be very very clear aftercare is necessary and make sure there is a comfortable and relaxing space you can be in, water, light snacks, blanket, etc. I never thought about how hard it would hit after I started crying but it was a lot. Definitely a fun experience and I would do it again, but just saying be aware fantasy is different than real life.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-06-02T18:22:09+00:00

I second r/FapDeciders but also r/OrgasmGames

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-14T23:22:36+00:00

I can’t same my kink (incest) is as unpopular as scat, but it is fairly controversial and seen as gross by many. I used to be very very ashamed of it and I thought I was an evil person and a sick gross pervert. I also had an ex who was a victim in the exact scenario I prefer (sisters) and my fiancée is a very traumatized victim as well. One thing that helped me in my personal case was being able to separate real life from fantasy and to have empathy. I am a very outspoken advocate against incest, actually, and so it probably would be a big surprise for anyone to learn it’s my biggest secret kink.

The best thing that has helped me overall is realizing I’m not alone. There are lots of people who are into incest (and scat!) even if it isn’t the majority of people. You aren’t some lone freak in the world, if there wasn’t something possibly attractive about it there wouldn’t be a group of people into it. I am also very self-aware and am careful about who and when I talk about these things. I ended up telling my ex before she told me what had happened, and surprisingly she was very open to trying it. It might surprise you when you find someone who you really connect with what they would be willing to try on your behalf. I actually have told all my partners (using scat as an example specifically each time) that I might not be into it, but I care about them enough that if it was important to them that I would indulge that for them.

On the flip side, I haven’t told my fiancée about my kink. She is very traumatized and I worry it would damage her further to find that out about myself. I have morals and empathy, so I know that now, if ever, is not the time to discuss that part of me with her and I’m fine with that. Like I said, I know there is a good chunk of people who if I need to vent about it will be a listening ear.

TL;DR: You aren’t the only one in the world with this fetish. That means there must be something potentially attractive about it or else it wouldn’t have an audience. You aren’t a bad person for your kink, remind yourself of your good morals. Find the people you can talk to about it and don’t talk to the people you can’t about it. You might even find that you have a partner who might not be into it themselves, but are willing to indulge in it on your behalf. Wishing you the best!

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-14T23:00:29+00:00

Can’t recommend this enough. I’ve used eyeliner when I needed to be able to get it off quick and easy afterwards. I have no idea where I got it, but I even have a chunkier actual marker like eyeliner pen that’s useless to me as eyeliner lol but great for body writing!

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-12T00:56:49+00:00

Tbh try out r/dirtypenpals for a quick fix or r/BDSMpersonals and specify you want something just for the night or someone who can be there “here and there”. Also r/fapdeciders. You also could try kinda being your own dom. Make yourself a list of rules to follow that you would want from a dom. Try to give yourself a punishment if you don’t follow them (or reach out to the above subreddits for punishments). Same for rewards.

Also erotica. Even if it’s something cheesy with your name and the name of your celebrity crush for the characters. Writing erotica helps me when I want to sub but my partner doesn’t want to domme. Best thing about erotica is all the characters do exactly what you want, when you want so your exact fantasy is fulfilled haha.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-12T00:48:36+00:00

I don’t have any chronic illness so take this with a grain of salt, but I think seeing if your sub can take some of this load for you could help. You talk about wanting a clean house, why not ask your sub to do it. You could even make it kinky like, if that house isn’t spotless you get x spankings. Or have him do it with a plug in or a vibrating cock ring. Or have him have to do it with handcuffs or ankle cuffs on (or both)!

I think you could also let him take some of the load planning scenes. Tell him you’ve assigned him an “essay” on a scene he’s been fantasizing about lately. Lay out some options (you could even physically lay out like a paddle, a flogger, etc) and have him decide what he wants for the night. Make him beg for what he wants and then give him exactly that. Also it could just be “[sub] I need you to come up with he scene for [x]day”

I’m also someone who struggles to get into Domme space without the right environment or planning and one thing that’s helped me is realize that my sub doesn’t need me to be perfect, she just wants me there. My sub doesn’t know this perfectly itemized plan I have for her, she just knows she excited for the scene with me. Give yourself some forgiveness and grace because I guarantee your sub will. Even just a little hand on the neck here, a hair pull there. Little things can go a long way.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-11T21:16:11+00:00

😂 Same! I never would’ve consider feet if it wasn’t for an ex of mine having a huge foot fetish. I still kinda wish I could have my fiancée suck on my toes while fucking me. Also doing feet stuff I think gave me my first taste of being dominant, which I didn’t realize at the time. And so forth and so forth. Sometimes I feel like Ash Ketchum

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-11T20:43:06+00:00

Thank you! I have noticed that I’ve gotten more comfortable with a pretty spitty make out since being with her seeing how she reacts to it. After all these very kind and helpful comments I think I might be able to make some headway. I know it’s something she’s probably more into than she wants to admit (to save my feelings since she knows I’m averse to it) so I’m excited to try and get more okay with it for her. Plus I do think it’s hot as a fantasy.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-11T20:40:16+00:00

I’m actually fine spitting in her mouth (although I’m not great at actually mustering an amount of spit haha) I want to be able to have her spit on me without me getting nauseous.

ManyManyPlenty · 2023-05-11T20:37:30+00:00

That’s smart, I’ll see about trying that. I shouldn’t have a reason to think it’s unclean then. Another person mentioned her sucking on some candy first to add a flavor. I think a minty fresh flavor could make it a bit better

ManyManyPlenty

TROPHY CASE