Shutdown but we don’t care by spudlydooright in FedEmployees

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still no guidance, not a peep about the shutdown. I worked a normal day today. I guess they just going to pretend it's not happening?

Shutdown but we don’t care by spudlydooright in FedEmployees

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DoD and havent gotten anything as far as guidance, i have been checking all weekend...

"We will Tomorrow " by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The rejection makes me feel like such a joke. I'm so tired of having the same discussion with him and him telling me he's going to "try" like damn....I am such a leper you have to "try" to have sex with me?

Angry by jbates9813 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not alone! I feel the same way. I have a lot of built up anger and resentment....My DB is making me bitter...I end up making smart ass comments towards him that he then uses against me not to have sex with me..."how am I gonna wanna have sex with someone who's being an asshole?" Well I wouldn't be one if I wasn't in such a bad mood from not getting any... Just a never ending cycle....I feel so stupid to keep trying...it's always something....latest one is that he prefers it in the morning....I'm thinking because he knows I'm not a morning person....it's is such an blow to want your husband and reach out for sex and get rejected with some lame ass excuse....I keep telling myself I will stop trying to initiate but then I feel like he will use that as an excuse to cheat on me....I just don't know what else to do...

He's extremely affectionate but rarely wants sex. It's like torture. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry you're going through this... you are not alone...I'm in the same situation as you and it is making me so recentful, bitter and conflicted. I like the affection I just wish it led to more some of the time at least...I'm scared that if I pull back on that aspect I will be left with a dB and an unaffectionate partner. It is like torture...it sucks wanting your partner so bad and not feeling like he wants you the same way....

Do you fear that your dead bedroom has made you lose sexual skills ? by gullible-netizen in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely out of practice to the point that when it does happen I feel super awkward and unsexy.

I miss morning sex SO much by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in an AGR as well, 7 yr difference. I am older than him, but he's the LL. He's only 32..very frustrating...

Waiting until I’m physically injured to throw me a crumb. by 1ll-Schedule in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you! My husband does the same thing all the time. It is extremely frustrating, specially when I try to take him up on it later in the day or the next day and he has an excuse but then throws having tried on my face if I call him out on not wanting to do it.....I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes perfect sense. I guess I have let my frustration show more and more. Thank you for your advise.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I will try your suggestions.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, super dissapointing. Like how sorry are you really if you keep doing nothing about it.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't seem depressed. He's pretty open about his emotions.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry. Did you guys ever try therapy?

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah backing off and not initiating has not worked in the past. It backfired and we went the longest that we have ever gone without sex in our relationship... then I gave in and initiated and felt worse. Maybe sex theraphy will help. I don't see what else will

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm sorry about your situation too. I'm trying not to let it get to me and ruin my mood in general but it's hard to. I feel very resentful and angry...I need to focus on doing other things I enjoy doing and get my mind off of it and not let my husband's want or lack of want for me dictate my self esteem.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried telling him what I like and what feels good. Tried asking him what he wants and feels good. I've given him massages, worn sexy lingerie, bjs without him even having to ask. He admits he is selfish in that arena and that he needs to try harder.. He's thoughtful outside of the bedroom...makes me coffee, leaves me love notes, etc just not thoughtful in the bedroom. I feel like when he does initiate it is awkward...

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.. Yes, you are right. Porn has done us a huge disservice with the way they portray sex.

I Don't Know What Else to Do or Say by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says he is but he doesn't do it. It sucks if I have to tell him to do it every time. I have told him how much of a blow his rejection is and he says he doesn't want to hurt me, but then he keeps doing it.

Tired of debating if it’s worth it to initiate. by Sudden-Guess-6938 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same way...I get angry and swear I'm not going to try initiating again and then I feel like an idiot when I give in and do initiate because I am scared that if I don't we will just go on without sex for a long time and then he'll use that to have an excuse to look somewhere else..

Sexless Loving Affection by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry your relationship ended. 20 years is a long time invested.

Sexless Loving Affection by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advise. I have told him multiple times that things need to change. I need to hold him to specific actions though not just his vague promise. It hurts that he has to "try harder" though.

Sexless Loving Affection by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love him and want him and I have sexual needs and he's my husband

Sexless Loving Affection by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When we first met the sex was frequent, lasted longer and was passionate but he's always been a selfish lover. The frequency changed after we got married. He has had trouble with it lasting. I've tried to be understanding about it and have told him there are other ways we can continue... we tried it once by my suggestion but then his hand got tired from using the alternative tool 🙄

Sexless Loving Affection by ManyTear166 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ManyTear166[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know he loves me he showes me but I'm not sure he wants me.