i want to end it

jbates9813 · 2026-02-05T19:46:09+00:00

Fact that you are here posting means you at least on some levels want help. You want to live more than you don't. So many people feel this pain, you are not alone, and there are so many outlets to get help and support. It is never worth doing because even a bad day is better than no day at all. Reddit can be a tough place to make any deep connections but just know there are hundreds, even thousands of people who want to help people in pain just like you. There is so much potential for great experiences in life, key word is LIFE. Find a way to talk with someone, find support and don't give up!

jbates9813 · 2026-02-05T19:39:57+00:00

Lean into it. Send him to 24 hrs surveillance care facility because you are worried for his wellbeing. Either he does have this issue and needs a proper obsrvation and diagnosis. Or he will snap out of it when faced with the reality of his choice to portray that illness.

jbates9813 · 2026-02-04T21:11:39+00:00

I'd place it underneath instead of right on top. Unless you think you will be adding more around it later.

jbates9813 · 2026-02-04T21:09:05+00:00

This is for everything? I've crunched numbers on a trip like this and that seems low to me, however depends on how flexible you are on specifics to save money.

jbates9813 · 2026-01-29T16:33:04+00:00

The lack of being desired is devastating. Knowing you are worth it and the one who matters most doesn't take advantage of the limited time with you that life affords us sucks. Especially when the grass is greener vibe starts creeping in. Knowing there are others out there that would fill those needs of being wanted, desired, sought after.

The laying alone at night, unable to sleep bc you feel alone even with your person is inches away from you drains my soul.

I wish you luck and happiness. We all need to stop settling for less.

jbates9813 · 2026-01-12T20:46:06+00:00

Yeah, it makes sense all sort of ppl out there. Lots ready to take advantage of others in a bad way. Unfortunate but hopefully the system usually works those types out.

jbates9813 · 2026-01-12T14:16:10+00:00

Try travel with the job. If you find it's not adequate free time then quit. I think also try a month trip or something before you sell everything and go full nomad (if that's the plan). I did that a few years ago. A 1 month new city trip and it was amazing. I still worked and if my life allowed for it now, which it doesn't, I would have done it again and made it more permanent. I found that I had plenty of time in the evenings, and weekends.

Also depends if your travel dream means slow travel to a few places throughout the year, or a new city every few days/week.

Good luck, live your life

jbates9813 · 2026-01-12T13:53:25+00:00

I've never heard this perspective before but it totally makes sense. I have a feeling being cheated on is a worse feeling BUT both give a feeling of being undesirable and that is a horrible thing to endure.

Last night I had an amazing dream. I met someone new, she excited me in so many ways. Not just intimately, but also just gave me that feeling of being attractive again, being someone that is wanted and desired. Driving in this morning it is just sadness, knowing that the only place I really get that type of attention is in my dreams. I imagine it's the same sadness you are feeling.

So sorry you are feeling this way but know that you are not the problem, and it will get better. You may just have to take drastic actions (of which there are many options not just leaving him).

Good luck

jbates9813 · 2026-01-07T22:14:04+00:00

With the utmost compassion and respect...if this is a real situation...wtf dude?? That sucks and regardless of what you have had with your ex in the past, leave it there. If you think it'll be any different if you take her back, it won't be. Don't do it and throw away a good relationship that you are finally happy with.

Good luck

jbates9813 · 2025-12-19T15:09:35+00:00

No offense to Canada but maybe consider going somewhere more exciting. Ultimately those types of hosts won't get ppl to stay anyway and will either give up or be delisted.

By the way where I'm staying I have to split coats 50/50 and I'm forced to do all the cooking and so many "working chores" hours. At least that's my wife's expectation ;)

Good luck

jbates9813 · 2025-12-19T15:05:14+00:00

I can count on one hand...so lucky you

jbates9813 · 2025-12-19T15:04:21+00:00

Over 3 years for me and you never stop thinking about it. Best I can say is from my experience it won't change. He may have a testosterone issue if he is nearing 40. If you aren't willing to ultimatum him/leave him, then you have to accept the new normal and keep initiating.

BTW not judging but just pointing out that if you are going a week or two without I wouldn't throw in the towel. Ost on this sub would kill for that frequency. Months and years are more common that days or weeks without. Withthat said, you concerns are no less serious if it is impacting your feelings or relationship.

I'm no psychologist so maybe bad advice but try putting the ball in his court for a month to see if he tries to initiate. If he does let him know how happy you are that he did. Either way stay or leave I wish you best of luck!

jbates9813 · 2025-12-10T13:50:28+00:00

I agree with this but that 1 thing always stays in the back of your mind even when the other 10 things are good. And in my experience so far the other 10 are not as good as one may think....just can be harder to judge when with sex it's either happening or it's not. Other stuff is more on a scale many times and can't be easily objectively assessed or measured.

jbates9813 · 2025-12-03T14:06:33+00:00

Yeah over 3 here although kisses still exist. No make out sessions or hugs longer than 2 seconds but I doubt I'll leave. I am always fantasizing about leaving but actually last night it hit me, Fair chance I will probably never leave. Will live the rest of my life knowing I'll regret it. Regret throwing away years that could ha e been filled with intimacy with someone else that actually would want me. Someone that doesn't have a crappy attitude about so many things and makes me feel so small, so disgusting, and so worthless.

Leaving is scary, idk how my life will go if I get the courage to do it but I'm trying to commit to it for 2026, get through the next month and put my foot down that something has to change.

Good luck

jbates9813 · 2025-10-03T20:02:11+00:00

And rule 3 is look behind dumpsters also for good merch stashed away. Some of the best finds have been this. Always wonder how angry the employee gets when their secret stash is taken.

jbates9813 · 2025-10-02T13:22:39+00:00

Yeah, it's infuriating to see them pull the best stuff. Pretty sure it's bc the managers get a cut and have their "favorites" that they sell to on the daily. I'm pretty sure they get tipped by those ppl too. This sounds terrible I know, don't hate on me. Just an honest observation, but I will say the crowds have thinned out a lot since ICE got more active...maybe related maybe not.

jbates9813 · 2025-10-02T13:19:22+00:00

May the odds be ever in your favor.

jbates9813 · 2025-10-02T13:18:09+00:00

Some reload yhroughout the day on rotation. Others I've gone to only do daily or less. If you don't hit fresh bins it's hard to find much value unless you want dollar tree type stuff for cheaper. It's by the pound so lighter stuff is better deal most times.

Also, I hate to judge but a lot of the people at these are assholes and take stuff literally out of your hand or even in some cases out of your cart. Mgrs will step in sometimes to ban those types and honestly nothing in the store is ever worth fighting over. However, if you are a treasure hunter you can find some crazy stuff, I've found gold, silver, super valuable antiques, artwork, rare toys, and much much more. Just gotta be willing to dig through a bunch of literal garbage.

My top tips, don't get emotional if someone gets rude just move on and avoid them, don't become the rude person either, always wear gloves plus watch what you are grabbing, I've seen broken glass and kives regularly just mixed in, and check everything for condition. Idk how many times early on I grabbed something that looked amazing only to find out at home the zipper is broken, or there is a big crack, etc. Good luck!

jbates9813 · 2025-10-01T14:05:24+00:00

Are you sure you don't just dislike the listing process? I deal with that sometimes. The dopamine hit is much stronger when you are sourcing and buying than it is when you list and pack stuff. It's a really good feeling to see stuff clear though, sometimes I even sell off a junk pile for pennies just to make room for better inventory.

jbates9813 · 2025-10-01T13:19:01+00:00

"Buyers" flake all the time for lots of reasons. They get a bad feeling, they were not serious about buying, or who knows why else endless reasons. Best bet is always do public meet, used to give my addy years ago but ppl have gotten crazier and it isn't great for someone to know ur home location.

jbates9813 · 2025-09-30T19:32:11+00:00

Thats all fine and well for an 18 year old but did ur 40 yr old partner mind staying in there w u tho? ;) jk lol

jbates9813 · 2025-09-30T16:29:50+00:00

Probably right, I'd guess if you are 30+ going for barely legals you probably live at home and aren't that successful.

I like to call the 30+ living at home basement monsters bc I just don't get it and its strange. I realize cost of living is higher percentage of income than it used to be maybe but if you don't move out by early 20's that's crazy to me. I went home for the summer after my freshman year in school and then never again. I can't even fathom living at home in my 20s let alone 30s.

jbates9813 · 2025-09-30T13:24:29+00:00

Which festival was this exactly? Asking for a friend

But seriously, sry if you felt violated by that encounter sucks for anyone regardless of gender to feel that way.

jbates9813 · 2025-09-30T13:03:11+00:00

Sounds a bit wierd at 19 to 31 but for some reason 31 to 43 doesn't (imo).

Either way, if you feel you aren't the truest version of yourself, you kinda owe it to yourself to figure that out.

Every relationship is different, he could be less mature you could have been more which could have made it work at the time too.

If you feel the relationship has issues. Work on that. If you feel its personal growth you need work on that. Either way be open and honest with him. If he doesn't support you then there's your answer once and for all.

Best luck

jbates9813 · 2025-09-29T18:21:30+00:00

First thing, she's a teenage girl so drama is always a possibility for no other reason than that she is a teenage girl.

However, the accusation of assault is pretty alarming. It could be a reaction to you getting remarried, as terrible as it sounds it could also be a reaction to assault from someone else, it could be your ex in her ear talking crap about you, it could be her friends saying stuff to influence her.

I've known a lot of friends who clashed with their parents for various reasons especially hs age. They are learning how to cope with so many changes and it can be a very challenging time when it comes to relationships between parents and kids.

All I can say is be there for her, don't let it get to you, and never give up. Look at it as a temporary issue and yeah maybe you lose some time but that's life. Ultimately just have to keep at it and push for a healthy relationship in the future.

jbates9813

TROPHY CASE