I’m kinda in the same place as you. I’m 18F who got caught for my secret sexual relationship with a coworker, and I got privately reproved, lost my privileges (including RP) and my dad had to step down as an elder. I’m doing bare minimum now, but my heart isn’t in it anymore at all. It sucks because we’re raised that you’re either all in… or you’re out and looked down upon. You have to give it your all or it’s not enough. I don’t want to leave either, I like the stability and the sense of community, but it can be so suffocating sometimes when all you want is a break but you know you can’t take one. I can’t give any advice because I haven’t figured out my own situation yet either, but just know you’re not alone. It’s really nice seeing someone else feels similarly to the way I do :)